Micro #17 24 апреля 1999

Фидо

Humor - Humor from Fido: fidoshnik talks about how he ended up in Fido.

             Humor from Fido



        Passkazyvaet fidoshnik:


     In dalekom 1993 I bought my first
modem. About a week it nastraival,
nakonets, skonnektilsya kakoy with a BBS-Coy and
skachal Norton kommander 1-th version.
A sense of immeasurable schastya was
nastolko deep that had zapit
nA ten days. Dalee my success stali
rasti just exponentially.
If in the first week I nauchilsya skachivat
with ACS fayly, the second - zakachivat their own
obratno then nA kakuyu a third week I
managed in 4 utra vyzvat sisopa nA and chat
vesma prochatilsya productively with them by up to 7
utra. Log raspechatal nA printer and
pokazal proud of his wife. Ta puzzled
posmotrela and sprosila: "A why are you
besedoval with kakoy something psisey? Do you,
sluchayno, belaya goryachka not nachalas? ".
After that the insult had perestat
razgovarivat with his wife and another zapit nA
week. Ten days later feeling dosady
subsided somewhat, I was able to overcome
themselves and zagovorit with his wife, asking - where
this house is a corkscrew.

     Over time, a sense of
incredible steepness stalo nastolko
capacious that stalo clear - it's time
otkryvat own BBS. Skazano -
sdelano! 20 megabaytny hard disk was
artfully divided between the turbo and paskalem
faylovymi oblastyami BBS. For skachivaniya
polzovatelyam were posted all fayly,
I sam utyanul raznyh with ACS, a takzhe
raritet - personally I napisannaya
programma "Talk", skillfully kotoraya vesma
emulirovala human razgovor. Ona
trebovala enter the line, a after you press
nA Enter otvechala: "Sam durak! Gy-gee-gee!".
This dalo me complete pravo napisat in
anonse stations of: "Tens of megabayt gigazov
varezov onlayn, including - my
originalnye razrabotki dedicated
Artificial Intelligence. "Hazval I his
Treasure modestly - Super-Extra-Mega BBS and
stal dozhidatsya calls tak HOW friendly
business - takaya klassnaya borda no kakoy
reklame not nuzhdaetsya. In the first week, HOW
nor stranno, shkvala calls were not. In
Wednesday, pravda, called Kolyan, vyzval me
nA chat and we prochatilis all night. I was
Kolyanu nastolko blagodaren za call that
poradoval his message that sdelal
it kosisopom its stations of. Kolyan
zametno extinguished, a then timidly asked -
whether he is now kazhduyu night duty
nA stations of my HOW kosisopu or
dostatochno pary raz a week?

     As time passed, the number of polzovateley
nA my BBS has been calculated semnadtsatyu
yuzerami. Obraschalis me respectfully -
sysop. Some dazhe called in a voice
sisopa time and asked for the phone. Zhena
(That's dura!) Ponachalu otvechala that reconcile
sysops are not here, then in her soul
zakralis strashnye suspicion and me
nachali pytat - whom I brought it home
during its last komandirovki. But
nedorazumenie razreshilos soon, and after
This zhena not vzdragivala in response nA
such requests by phone, a polite
otvechala that sysop seychas not approach
can tak HOW this cretin zabyl buy
moloka so otbyvaet labor
service at home and at the moment nastoyaschy
sysop nA palas street from the living room. Topics
time, a little bit in my
nochnovato-pivovatye dialogi with yuzerami
nachinalo vpolzat tainstvennoe and
charuyuschee word "Fido." No, I certainly
znal, which translated to a Angliysky
word oznachaet all-navsego naritsatelnoe
Name yard sobachki, tipa HOW at nas
"Sharik," or "Bobby." But my nick
povedali it - nazyvanie znamenitoy
non-profit computer network kotoraya
protyanula their schupaltsa worldwide.
Since kommersant of me useless,
razumeetsya - I'm very zahotel in this network
popast ...


     (Fidoshnik breath, nalil currently still
three litra piva and prodolzhal)


     Odnako, none of the users could not (or
did not want to) me explain - kakim obrazom
tuda can popast. Za this informatsiyu I
was ready to dat dazhe level "sysop", but also
nA this shantazh tak nobody poddalsya.
Odnazhdy, pravda, I was almost in popal
this network. It was tak. Priehal my
programmist acquaintances, we were sitting,
drinking beer and I povedal him my unattainable
dream. Programmist pozhal plechami and skazal,
that he had acquaintances who is
node in the Fido. He asked him, and he dast
I Address. With these Words mi programmist
telefona picked up the phone and rang, pozval
kakogo something Sashu and asked him to zapustit
I have a Fido. Sasha skazal that there are no problems
skazal and so I went to the phone. C
zamiraniem serdtsa I picked up the phone and uslyshal
next monologue: "In short, take
Fresh nodelist, naydesh tam my phone
dalee mailers ping, frekni tam
something for the testa, zabros my logs, a
after that - were the director your number
poynta and paroli to robotam. All right?
Schastlivo. "And hung up. I was
shocked. Probability popast in this network
priblizhalas rapidly to zero. This
seychas I znayu - that takoe Mailer, Frech,
logs, etc., a the moment - that
"Nodelist" that kakoy something "budrobAn -
zvuchalo completely odinakovo.

     But, HOW chasto byvaet, sterile
ozhidanie after a few months
vnezapno razrodilos as a message to
chatu one yuzera my BBS. This paren
napisal that his boss is willing to take noda
I have a point, and that the next day they nA
together will come to my house to
commit tainstvo familiarizing me to this
network. Skazal user that they are necessary
bring with them, vklyuchaya fronduru, a from
I am required only enough napoit
bossa beer, tak HOW it is
necessary ritualom DEDICATION. I do not
is realized with kakoy stati they will lead to
a front-line kakuyu a fool, but to
treated the news with all due
deference. Ha next day my wife nA
morning construction was reported - kakaya
velikaya ozhidaet my honor, and were dany
ukazaniya necessary to receive such
vazhnyh guests. Zhena zarazilas my
prazdnichnym nastroeniem so kupila
Box piva not butylkah, a bankah, takzhe
pogladila my suit and dazhe poprobovala
pribratsya in the computer, although naporolas
nogoy nA valyayuschuyusya videokartu and ostavili
beznadezhnye these attempts. In seven chasov
vechera razdalsya doorbell. My wife and I
solemnly went otkryvat. Ha threshold
were large screen young cheloveka purely
programmistskoy appearance, which
synchronously opened his mouth, he saw me in
suit and his wife on the evening plate.

     Za dinner, however, draining a dozen
banok piva, guests from opravilis
pervonachalnogo embarrassment and dazhe rasskazali
kakuyu something fidoshnuyu story about HOW
someone tam tam something not tuda ustanovil and
that on this occasion happened somewhere tam.
Of all rasskaza I understood only a word
"Goat" and "modem", but politely laughed for
podderzhaniya razgovora. A the end uzhina
rebyata just threw all convention
and with the help of banki maslin, piles of bones from
baranih legs and beer banok izobrazili
nA table certain composition, which they
nazvali "Scheme routinga ehomeyla in 5020."
Several obaldevshaya zhena predlozhila them
Coffee rebyata HOW something became sad and skazali,
pora that they already pristupat to the main purpose
a vizita, unless, of course, still
ostalos beer. One of them asked the wife
pomadu and napisal nA zerkale in the hallway
kakie something strannye figures that, HOW it
explained oznachali now my Pointed
number. Zhena displeasure pointeresovalas -
So now it will muzha vsegda by number
vyklikat, zeka HOW? Parni dissatisfied
curled, skazali wife that does not ona
vrubaetsya and asked otpravitsya nA kitchen
- Zanimatsya its direct obyazannostyami.
After this rebyata sat at my
kompyutera quickly raskritikovali fayly
konfiguratsii and version of DOS, a dalee in
During chasa ustanavlivali kakoe something wildly
cumbersome programmnoe software, for
ways pererugivayas and eating strannye
terms. By the end of this ordeal
it turned out that my user pisal fayly
konfiguratsii to Front-Door, a mine boss
ustanavlival binka. They even had a drink in piva
about this, zamenili Bink nA Front-Door,
config files from the Front-Door nA binkovye,
pozdravili me otklanyalis. Almost all
night I did not spal, prislushivayas with trepidation to
Besides, HOW my modem continually nabiral
kakoy a number. Morning fidoshnoy mail nA
you do not okazalos. And only through
paru weeks it became clear that the entire mailer
night digging in Kaliforniyu, tak HOW
rebyata something naputali with translyatsiey
telephone numbers.

     After that day znamenatelnogo
passed all polgoda, and my mailer is not
call after hours to the boss. Ha
Fences near my house poyavilas
nadpis: "Fido - rulez. Internet -
goat! ". I stal poluchat and chitat fidoshnuyu
e-mail and was almost completely schastliv. About
what happened to my nachale
slavnogo fidoshnogo way - you can
rasskazyvat chasami, but I would like to
uslyshat - HOW do you popal in its network and
kakie exciting moments, it was
svyazany ...


     (With these slovami fidoshnik nalil yourself
Three litra piva and prepared
vnimatelno slushat. Several osharashenny
This confession internetovets kakoe while
zadumchivo potyagival beer, a later
began his thrilling rasskazu)


     Priehal I HOW something to the office of Mr
Postmanu, put 30 baksov nA akkaunt and
gained access to the Internet.



                              WBW, Sergei.

-----------------------------------------
              The people of Fido


  Lyrics courtesy of Y. Grushko