Lime Tree #15 28 февраля 1996

Самиздат

Lit.Stranichka - Short Story "IT'S I". The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (Chapter 7.8).

                           IT'S I


                  єєєєєєє ZX-SHADOW ЄЄЄЄЄЄЄ



 Now 16 hours 22 minutes Moscow time, as soon as I
rides all the fun of the situation, immediately began to write 
(the emphasis on "A"), and pinned me very quickly. I was 
sitting at his IBM-compatible write text Alex'u, when suddenly 
the machine, which I gave to Fix a call in the hold burst into 
a terrible ringing, from which me for a moment, laid his ears. 
I must say that this very phone woke me up at 8.51 (!!!), some 
ass wrong number. Well, I thought: 

 -And not a bad thing to pick up the phone and talk.

 Enjoyed it and I remember thinking ... But it shutka.Nadel I 
nemeryannom their headphones, which successfully converted into 
a telephone, clicked as nemerenoe tumbler, fastened directly to 
the table on which stands the computer. And I hear some 
hissing, wheezing, and there seems to be human speech: 

 - Akkf akjj rnj yf ghjdjltsjhje?

"It is not clear, I think, and begin a heart-rending cry into a 
small foam ball, hanging out in front of my mouth and quivering 
whenever my cry: 

 - Ale, Ale, I do not understand a damn, Ale, Ale.

 Realizing the futility of their attempts, I decided to "hang" 
the tube " I promptly did, thinking:


 - What kind of language is that?

and answered himself:

 -Probably a Chechen, and call-provocation, and in vain I said 
so rudely! 

 I continue to write the message, funny and not intended. 
Minutes of commercials ten, another call ...


 - Chechens again!?

  "I take off the phone and hear how its way through a voice;
 I think:

 - And before the measurement "X" got "those kavkazzkoy 
nationality." 

 Trying to parse words and happy to learn Russian rech.I occurs 
the following dialogue: 

 - Ale?!
 - Zdravstvuite this company?
 - Not-and a damn or what not FIRM
 - And you're not the driver, to the Turkish machine message?

I was extremely concise and a bit rude though I started prosekat
funny situation:

 -No!
 Well, excuse me
 -Nothing, everything is in order.

 Yeah, kruten, and thought:

 - In the PBX is buggy, but still put the counters!

Thoughts flew like a whirlwind:

 - And if the counter zaglyuchit!?
 - We must tell others about it.

 And he began to rivet this amusing story, I thought to send it 
to LIME TREE in the Field <TRIP>. Write pin, suddenly my cool 
phone again zatrezvonil: 

 - Answer the call and unplug that phone nafig

 "I lift up and out of habit, the latter generated by 2
Call scream:

 - Ale, Ale

Through all that the same noise, I distinguish zhensly pleasant 
voice: 

 - This company!?

I almost fell off (!), But calm voice answers (see why):

 - No, you navernae not connect PBX
 - You know, the Turks gave the phone 5556189 or 5556187 and 
promised the driver, maybe you know something about this?  - 
No, I do not know how you get 5556189 apartment (where the 
money is), but 5556187 FIG know  - Okay, thanks a lot

 - Yes, no, nothing, everything O'K
 - I will not bother you
 - That's right
 - Short beeps ...

 A little thought, I smiled and continued to write with the idea
I'm probably writing for . Here's why:
tel. 5556198 is my block on 5th floor, tel.
5556186 again the same on my block on the 3 rd floor, tel. 
5556187 likely in our house. And in our house or what companies 
do not have! " So that the poor (?) Turks nai .. Here ...



 Well, actually, and all the tales, turned out great.


                   √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √ √



                    B C E M P O K A!



                            Regards ZX-SHADOW ZX-SHADOW



    --------------------------------------------



  Chapter Seven, in which Kanga and Roo appeared in the Forest

                 and Piglet accepts whiskey.


       One morning, a familiar buhaya life obitaley forest was 
broken - rumored to be in the Forest has registered little boy 
with a mother Kanga Roo. Winnie the Pooh, this message is very 
pleased as he no longer drank, but here such a case - 
novosele.I he decided to go to Piglet, Rabbit and then to - to 
gather together and go on a visit to Kanga. Rabbit, moreover, 
was a guest of Piglet, so remember where lives with Rabbit, 
Pooh has was not necessary.


       - Hi, Vinny! We seem to have appeared in the Forest's 
new? Asked Bunny, opening a bottle of beer, courtesy of Piglet.


       - In my opinion, their fifteen - said Pooh, pouring into 
the mouth half a bottle of "Navigator".


       - Who? - Did not understand Rabbit.

       - Degrees - said Pooh.

       - Firstly, not fifteen, and ten, and secondly, I say we 
have brand new? 

       - Oh, and Eeyore - said Pooh.

       - What does your Eeyore? - Outraged Rabbit. - More
nothing to think, fucking alcoholic!

       - Sam you fucking - cut the Pooh and flopped into a 
chair, taking with him another bottle. 

       - This is what I mean - said Rabbit .- Here we sit here, 
coming to senses, but why do not we go pobuhat to Kanga? 

       - What are you, Bunny? - Frightened Piglet .- It 
certainly does not drink. Yes, and her son was still a baby ... 

       - What? What do you mean non-drinker? - Frowned Puh.-Who 
right now non-drinker? Maybe you, Piatak?


       - Not-e-o, - handed Piglet nervously glancing at Pooh.

       Pooh indifferently tossed a bottle out the window.

       - Okay, not the question. Let us shall throw off five 
pieces chtoli - proposed Rabbit. 

       - A Rule of Law ... tsya you do not wrap? - Said Pooh. - 
Who celebrate Pays.


       Rabbit thought.

       - So, you suggest that Kanga regaled us? - He asked.

       - Aha! - Belched Pooh.

       - Well, very well. Hence, we arrive and say:
"Aha!". And it is us: "The UGU! So?

       - Well, well, finish your shit pushed, pushed to the 
kangaroo sharper - hurried Pooh. - To sober up here with you 
reap. 

       Friends stood up, threw on jackets (Piglet had to wear a 
jacket and tie gala) and went in search of Gyeonggi. On the 
way, Pooh, as usual, sang "Forest Sector", while Piglet's heart 
ached from the fact that he must soon How should drink. 

       Kanga just put to bed Baby Roo, when someone knocked at 
the door. Peering through the peephole, saw Kanga contented 
face of Winnie the Pooh, holding a bouquet of violets, a 
hastily assembled Piglet.


       - Hi, Kanga - confusedly said Pooh after
friends went inside. - Here, we're thinking, and not go to 
whether we a housewarming for Kanga?


       Kanga felt the hint and smell of alcohol emanating from
Winnie. However, it still let in visitors to the house, 
thinking at first not just to deny hospitality.


       - Come, come, - said Kanga. - Over there basin.

       Pooh, Rabbit and Piglet went to wash his paws. On the 
way to the sink Rabbit thought, as if to ask potaktichney Kang 
get a couple of bottles, and Pooh thought, no matter how 
blevanut by the sink. 

       And to that, and quite another failed plan. Pooh just
Three minutes koryachilsya over the toilet, cleaning the 
insides and the head Rabbit came a good plan. 

       When all the company entered into a drawing-room, first 
thing in Rabbit looked round in search of the secretaire. 
Having found such, he approached him and touched his paw. 

       - Not a bad furniture, Kanga, - he said. - The elegant 
work. And the doors are very nice - with these words Rabbit 
pulled the handle and opened the dvertsu.Vnutri was a small 
collection of alcoholic beverages, consisting of vodka, wines, 
liquors and even scotch. 

       - Not bad - prisvisnul Rabbit, pretending that he and
No thoughts about how to drink it.

       Kanga, with a sigh went up to the secretary and took 
liquor and whiskey. All except Piglet once cheered.


       They all sat down at the table and poured a drink.

       Then they began to talk about the ferocity
kangaroos in the winter months, it was attended by all but the 
Gyeonggi. The conversation was interrupted by an infusion into 
the mouth of the regular glasses, and Pooh and Rabbit is not 
eating. Piglet immediately Vdarilo in the head and it is 
disconnected from the overall besedy.V his head appeared only 
such thoughts as: 

                     plump, not

          called this agreement
      this I shus!
 If ever


       When the whiskey and liqueur came to an end, Winnie the 
Pooh suddenly stood up from the table and asked:


       - Kanga, and you! watching! when! anything! on! then! 
tree? 

       - No! - Said Kanga, and looked at him, so as not to 
leave gaps in the knowledge of the outside world. 

       Pooh seized the moment and pulled out a bottle of 
secretaire vodka.


       - Speaking of poetry - he said. - Where have you got a 
toilet? 

       - Yes, I would have - had joined the Rabbit, from which 
no escape maneuver Winnie the Pooh. 

       Friends are gone in the direction indicated by 
tightening, however, to the room of Baby Roo.


       Kanga, left alone with trans-spatial Piglet, opened 
another bottle of whiskey and poured him and myself. 

       - I do not know - Kanga said thoughtfully, deciding to 
play a trick over booze pig. - It Ru or Ru? ..


       Meanwhile, Piglet reached for a glass and drank.

       - Kanga! - He said the strongest voice a minute later.
- I see that the time has come! talk! frank!

       - What a funny you silly, Py, - laughing, said Kanga.

       - Do not you see? I! No! Roo! - Squeaked Piglet
vsprygivaya on the table and knocking over an empty bottle. - 
Blind, stupid? 

       - Yes, dear, yes, no one will argue with you. Only Piglet
never so nazhiraetsya. He does not drink - a weakling!

       - Who, me! Wimp! - Piglet squealed even louder, 
kinuvshis with his fists on Kang. - I told you! show! wimp! 

       Kanga habitual movement caused Piglet tail strike
below the belt.

       - You, You, You are purposely ETS ... - Piglet croaked, 
falling on the floor.


       - Hush, hush, Roo. Look like booze! His own mother did 
not know! 

       Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

       - Sign in - said Kanga.

       Came Christopher Robin.

       - So, celebrate, then - he drawled, looking at the 
bottles were lying and Piglet. - I was not invited? 

       - Christopher Robin, Christopher Robin - croaked Piglet.
- Tell her who I am? She drives, I'm not Roo!

       - Of course, you do not Roo! - Said Christopher Robin - 
because I just saw Roo and Winnie the Pooh, Rabbit. They are 
there thumps ... 

       - How? - Kanga was horrified. - My son with such meters. 
Kami? It also went to bed?


       - I am not Roo, Piglet, I! - A voice came from the 
garbage. 

       - No, you're not Piglet! - Said Christopher Robin, 
shaking head. - I know Piglet, and he is quite a different 
color. 

       "It's because I took the whiskey" - wanted to say Piglet
but could not.

       - Who is it then? - Said Kanga. - Swelled from here
me, had called a fool ... It's wrong, Uncle, is not good.

       "Running should be here," - the thought flashed through 
my head Piglet. 

       "Do not run away" - thought Kenge.

       - Well, I went - said Christopher Robin, not wanting to 
deal with crime. 

       Ten minutes later the shrill screeching halt pig and 
pork carcass flew into the street. 

       - No more for the world to thump will not - promised 
myself Piglet himself, returning home in the morning with a 
ringing head and broken ribs. 

       Since then, every Tuesday Roux for the whole day went to
Meet the new friend Bunny and booze with them, and Pooh went to
Kanga - for the same. Every time he was calling from a Piglet
and he refused each time under some pretext. Kanga
however, earned him an apology for his ferocity is NOT in the 
winter months, but still did not like Piglet family of 
kangaroos. 

       And everyone was terribly funny!


                                Nomy Graphics Limited 17.02.96



At this number is over. All errors are corrected manually and 
riveted Issue LORD WINTER.



Chief editor :................. LORD WINTER, Alex, t.300-1064
red.razdela
"ABOUT ALL INTERACTIVE ":..... ARGON, Alexander, t.401-9029
ved.rubriki "ABOUT ":......... ANDY NIK, Andrew, t.186-4850

(C) 1996 WINSOFT PRODUCTION LIMESOFT