Spectrofon #23 20 июля 1997

Юмор

Fantasy - "A virtual Sindpom (tpagikomichesky faps).

   The following product has nothing to do with the game 
"Virtual Syndrome" which, unfortunately, not come out. This

work - just a little fantasy story. Any coincidence of names and
names of firms can be considered purely coincidental.



(C) Yury Matveyev, 1997


                    Dedicated Enlight'9x



             VIRTUAL SYNDROME


          (A tragicomic farce)



                       "Feel

                             a

                               man! "


                          (From advertising PC)



                   0000


   I met him on a permanent fair. He stood by
large glass pavilion, thoughtfully examining a bright sign 
above the entrance. The giant neon sign reads:


"Magic Soft - everything for your computer
ZX-Spectrum ". Actually, I had to
here, and I would not pay for this person
any attention, if not for its strange, slightly grayed stone 
face. I touched his elbow:


   - You bad? Can I have something to help?

   - H-Nieto .. Thank you - quickly, with a slight English 
accent answered the stranger, but turned to me suddenly as 
hastened to add: 

   - However, I would ask the hotel ...

   - Yes?

   - And how to find "Inforkom?

   I smiled. Once again confirms the adage "to the hunter and 
the beast runs. "However, in this case, the catcher,

rather, I was. We need new customers.
Especially foreigners.

   - You are lucky. I imagine "Inforkom"
here at the fair ...

   The stranger seemed to me, tried to smile but could not. 
What's wrong with him was not so. A strange man.



   - I am developing a new model
computer and would like to agree on
cooperation with you as one of the largest computer companies 
in the world. 

   - You can drive tomorrow in our
office. True bosses will not be - all on
conference in London. - I pulled out of
inside pocket of his jacket folded in
straw paper and handed it to a stranger. -
Here are all the addresses and the schedule of our company, you 
can see ... 

   The stranger with curiosity unfolded
color tridtsatidvuhpolosnuyu newspaper
"On-line" and stared at the photograph, printed on the front 
page. There was image Sir Clive Sinclair was receiving from the 
hands of UN Secretary General's Nobel Peace Prize for 
achievements in computer technology. Just below the picture 
wore a smaller - Sergei Zonov, a developer of domestic versions 
of the immortal Spectrum, who attended the ceremony, gives an 
interview to The New York Times. 


   While the stranger looked at the newspaper, I
got accustomed to it. He was dressed decently:
black three-piece suit, tie, glasses in gilded frames, 
expensive leather shoes. 

   - In general, come, we are always happy -
I said, glancing at his watch.

   I'm already late.

   - Let me call you at night - unexpectedly offered the 
stranger. 

   - Me? Home? - I was surprised.

   - Yes, if possible.

   - Okay. Here's my phone - I said,
extending bus. - True, you have not logged.

   - Boris - He stretched out his hand. - Boris
Gates. And you?

   - Yuri ... By the way, you - an Englishman?

   - No, the American ...

   We shook hands and wished the
each other all the good left. I
entered into the trading hall and looked around.
Boris made his way through the crowd to the parking lot
taxis. Surname he was also strange.

Clearly a hacker alias.


                   0001


   The office manager of the company "Magic
Soft "I relaxed and allowed himself to throw his jacket. The 
difficult negotiations on the purchase of a new version of the 
operating system "ZX / 2". Victor, my old friend, was a staunch 
opponent of the system and refused to go to meet me. My 
suggestion is to throw the market a large shipment "ZX / 2" did 
not inspire him. But our new The program relies on this system 
and we were very interested in supporting

"Popolamki.

   - I Cursors-95 "are fine ...
For two years the trade. Why should I disrupt the market some 
kind of "half Zet X? "Besides, we contract with a" seafarer "

to supply a large batch of "Cursor 96"!
- Victor fumed.

   - Market analysis and recent data on
Sales "ZX / 2", published yesterday in the

"On-line", show that in the near future is coming boom. - I 
argued. - This occur due to the influx of new users. They need 
a simple and convenient OSes. Do you understand? U popolamki 
"more chance of survival.


   - You're no longer trust the experts online -
Victor smiled. - They'll still not
write. It was a distinct custom art!
Someone is profitable. And you know who!

   - Yesterday I talked with Grigoriev,
He swears that article was prepared by independent experts. 
Chief Editor will not lie - I continued to insist

on his own. - Yes, and we have to spectrophone considered 
possible ways of development operating systems for the period 
up to 2010. You remember, we did a lot of things written. 

   - Pisac. I trade those for which there is
demand! Try to apply to the FFC - they are for
soul work, little square they have a small,
cozy, two-story shop with retail space at five of our smaller 
ones. 

That work out their version of them.

   - Do not pull. System needs to untwist on monsters.

   - A "Inforkom?

   - Beret.

   - So?

   - Malo. Need more. We need to sell one hundred thousandth 
part. At least to begin with. With television already agreed. 
Advertising paid for. But this is not enough. 

   - And Peter?

   - And what Peter, they have their own problems in bulk. 
"Copper Feet" flooded the market its game software, the people 
playing. And has taken root there sistemka spot, such as old 
fashioned "blue pages", the developers of Zonal cooperate well. 
That market with their bare hands can not take. Besides, 
Logrosov and Wellcome very serious commitment to the Bronze 
Feet "for the purchase of a regular series of" White Stork ". 
Sturdy thing, they say, turns out. Under this deal is ready 
Zonov shove their video hats ZCX-2. Mednonogov promised to 
support 

Limit graphics modes. His department
Now the sweat of the program and debug
catches the last bugs.

   - And He himself where? - Asked
Victor.

   - Yes, as always, went to Bermuda. On
his boat is now crosses the Atlantic.

   We were silent for a bit.

   - Well, I do not know, - handed Victor
lighting a cigarette Elite from Kharkov
Lighters CodeBusters. - Can you first
SoftStaru to go?

   - Uh, no - I said. - We have them terminate the contract due 
to last year's scandal.


   - This is in connection with the Pirate Party
"Special Forces"?

   - Yes. Customs officials at the Chinese border
covered softstarovsky composition. Ten cars left copies! In the 
latter two - empty boxes for the next batch of discs. As it 
turned out, SoftStar 90 percent of the Chinese market to 
piracy. In short, a court. And we won 

this case. Yet they lightly.

   - Well what can I say? The last time
amizhniki came and asked to take a lot
These calculators. - Victor shoved under
Table antediluvian computer "Amiga"
"Died" a few years ago. - I agreed, and now all crammed skalady
this shit.

   - We know at one time they tried to
to break into the market through "Inforkom"
offering its semi-underground edition
dedicated to "Amiga", the mass replication.

   - So what?

   - Same. "You just type -
we sell. We appreciate, we have lots of users, do not forget 
the poor! "Supported. Charity over the export of five KAMAZ 
this paper. One of the machines on the market and taxied 
unloaded part of the unsold circulation right at the entrance 
to the delight of the employees "Junk." Part of the edition 
sold out in museums and historical libraries. And on the PC


and say nothing, she died. No, you
only count up - a text mode, the RAM 640
Kilobytes. Screw creaked hooked.

   - Ha-ha-ha - Victor laughed. - Squeak?

   - Yeah.

   - Ha, ha, ha ...

   - And their electronic magazine, as
it ... - I scratched his head, - "Computerra" seems to come at 
the five inch diskettes every six months.


   - On the "fives"?

   - Well, yes. And where are their only to get?

   - I can donate them for free tysch
commercials twenty of these "fives". With Mytishchi warehouse. 
And while I'm at their dacha garden paths laid. Originally 
obtained. Neighbors are jealous ... Yeah, so what write in this 
"Panther"? 

   - In "Computerra" ... Laugh alone and even
only. Some kind of new computer came up with "Sprinter 
Pentium-MMX". Creep in 21-th century ...


   - Yeah, - handed Victor - All components
puter dead, a Spectrum stayed.

   - And to us, then what? - I smiled. - If
have all worked as spektrumisty, we would
they still struggled. And so - surrendered without a fight. 
Rejoice that you chose the ZX. 

   - I am happy. Sales are growing, the computer being 
upgraded, users sea. State - for! The day before yesterday in 
the Duma kometeta "impy" came, were estimated spending on 
schools and universities. So in the near future are waiting for 
the money. What more could a simple trader? - Victor he laughed.


   - Duc. Well, on the hands? I'm just
so I will not leave.

   - Let's count up to his nose ...


                   0010


   I came from Victor hour in good spirits. The transaction 
took place. Tomorrow warehouse trading company Magic Soft

fill the first batch of one hundred thousandth of a new edition 
of the operating system ZX / 2. This 

was a breakthrough. Now you can come to grips with the virtual 
kosmooperoy "Star Dust. Heritage, designed for this system. I 
remembered that I had today was scheduled lunch in the Aragvi 
with Novgorod representatives softvarnoy firm "Digital 
Reality". Therefore it was necessary hurry.


   My cherry BMW stood in their place. I slammed the door and 
sat down in a soft driver's seat. Nearby, a passenger, lay open 
room thick Petersburg magazine "ZX-Format".


   Nedochitannaya article called "Max
Romanov challenge or 1:0 in favor of
"ZX-News". Honestly, fighting in St. Petersburg circles of 
little interest to me. But open a page from under sunglasses

looked there the artist annimator,
who somehow gave someone a call. I
met him at a conference and he
seemed quite calm young man. And not hurt a fly. And here -

challenge. That's why I forced myself to finish reading the 
story to end, though did not understand Why Max threw a 
challenge to all. Well, big men - big problems. Especially in 
our business not on the cutting edge of modern computer 
technology. 


                   0011


   Before you drive off, I decided to call the newspaper 
"On-line", to remind them of tomorrow's advertising

article, which was supposed to
the front page. Receiver took Dima Grigoriev
editor in chief, known in narrow circles as Oldman.

   - Yes - sigh tube.

   - It's me. Magic agree. Truby collection!

   - Uboltal?

   - Do you doubt it? - I moved the cell phone in his other 
hand and took a cigarette. 

   - Clearly, the article in color? - Asked
Oldman.

   - Ask. Yes, the title more

Do ... For all to see.

   - Do not fit. Here a scandal
will be on the front page. So you'll have to double up.

   - What's the scandal?

   - In Samara firmochki one accused us of
unfair test of their products
for viruses. Requires payment for moral
costs. Besides, they still accuse us of
the use of pirated software in the production of newspapers. 
Here you you look to the article: "Double standard - double 
standards." 

   - A dog barks - the wind carries.

   - Well, yes, yes ... - Oldman sighed. -
We find the council. I have this story all night writing. All 
laid out on shelves. So slightly urezhem your advertisement.


   - Okay. The owner - a gentleman. In my spectrophone 
Schoolboy whole thesis the new system, wrote his doctoral 
defended. Why, and Novikov soon return from the United States

with more material about the translation
advanced programs on the system ZX / 2.

CodeMasters will be among the first. They
all their "Dizzy" will suffer. A Shishliannikov now the entire 
department has put on the ears - shovel code for a second 
"Heritage", in leave no one went.


   - This is good, - said Oldman.

   - Well, I'll go to the meeting. I bet Artie
been waiting for.

   - Good luck.

   - Do not just screwed up with advertising. Tomorrow - 
officially the first day of trading "popolamkoy. 

   - Be Spoke. And anyway, when I
bungle?

   - When the sliders worn ... - I joked.

   - Duc, when it was! - Grigoriev handed - I - Oldman ...

   Saying goodbye, I turned on the ignition.


                   0100


   Two hours later we crawled out of the Aragvi
with red faces and heavy bellies.

Negotiations on the purchase of products Novgorod company 
"Digital Reality" have been quite successful. Artie, a member 
of the Board of Directors, was pleased. The biggest projects of 
the century "Megaboll" and "Paradise Lost" received our strong 
support. The condition was one. As soon as possible submit to 
the court astonished public new versions of these global games, 
calculated under the "popolamku. Thus we were able in time to 
support each other. 

   - Do you know what will be in Paradise?
- Artie still could not calm down.

   - I can imagine.

   - Do not imagine! Full virtual
Theatre, sensations, the impact on all
senses ...

   - Well, - I interrupted, - My condition you
you know, and your professionalism, I
sure.

   - Thank you. Until next time?

   - Bye! - I nodded, sitting down in
his car.


                   0101


   I returned home late at night. Until
that I still had to go to Lyubertsy to our artist Dima Usmanov 
and take away him some virtual landscapes on

Space theme, which I was going to
used in the opening three-hour
film to our game.

   Then we went with him to the Spectrum Park.
For half an hour, wandering between the huge models of ships 
from the game "Elite", we discussed our plans for the future. 
In a clearing in the tall grass in front of some galloping 
Dizzy, playing with children. On a hill near a small lake rose 
a huge monument to the Magic Knight. Under his feet, clad in 
iron armor, at the very pedestal stood a few benches on which 
the lovers kiss. When the sun sinking below the horizon, the 
meadow of the park from sculptures of heroes of the game 
"Lemmings" stretched long, intricate shadows.



   Then we ate ice cream "Ice Climber" and
drinking soda, "Atlantis." By the end of our walk we went with 
him to the pavilion "Laser Platoon" and staged a brief but

hot battle, leading virtual teams
cyborgs. I pulled a little leg, but was pleased. At the exit of 
the park is the real Joe Blade said goodbye to us and

gave each of us on the layout of its
powerful spray.


                   0110


   Only at home did I remember that negotiated with Boris 
Geytovym on the evening call. I remember it just at the moment 
squealed when the telephone. Taking the tube, I walked into the 
room: 

   - Yes.

   - Good evening, this is Boris.

   - Good evening, Boris.

   - I promised to call ... Uh ... - He
suddenly fell silent.

   - I listen to, speak.


   - You know, I need the money.

   - Good start. You know, me too.

   - You misunderstand me. I invented ... As
to say it, well ... something like a machine
time.

   - Do not tell. In the morning you were talking about
computer.

   - Yes, I remember. I was a bit rushed. I wanted to say that 
I can create computer. True, I do not iron,

I just know how to ...

   - A young man, as we would ...

   - Listen, - he interrupted. - I need ennaya amount of money. 
And I will move the world.    - How and what amount of money? -

I could barely restrain myself from laughing.

   - I want to buy a little thing ...

   - And?

   - And ...

   - Earn.

   - I have no time ... I can not here to make money. I just 
ask a small amount of debt. I'm all right. But now I need

money.


   - So, okay ... Goodbye. - I hung up. This guy is definitely a
head, not in order.

   A minute later the phone rang again.

   - Yes.

   - I beg your pardon ... I have to open up to you, just give 
the word that is not Will it tell anybody.


   - I listen.

   - A few years ago in the attic of the old
Villas of my grandfather, I found the remains of some strange 
device. It was like a small flying saucer. She was

torn top and side of the gaping hole
the size of a human head. Local
told that in the late forties in our city, many saw the fall of 
the meteorite. A week earlier, several people saw in the night 
sky glowing drive, which hangs over the road on the edge of 
town. I think this is the "meteorite" and found my grandfather. 
I dismantled the plate and found inside a pair of obscure 
subjects. First melted in my 

eyes, as soon as I tried to open
the top cover. And the second was a strange priborchiki in a 
gold box and two small silver levers and

six glowing lights. You do not
believe, but it was ... time machine. I
I do not know the principles of its actions, but by controlling 
a lever, you can get in the future, and others - to come back. 
I have experimented three. I have several times visited in the 
future. Only then I realized that this machine will not work 
forever. C each flight a light bulb went out. I

thought that I was a single chance. I love computers, I would 
like to know how you do in the future, they develop, what 
heights you have achieved. I saw how you work, I saw some ideas 
you embody in life! Now I know that should we, there, do to 
reach the same height ... The car is now off

only one light bulb. This means that I
will not be able to travel into the future. Yes
and your future - it's just one of

links in the chain of the most probable events. Maybe I did not 
time travel. Maybe this car is simply calculates some options 
and creates around I have a virtual world? I do not know. I 
wrote down all your ideas and want to put them out there in my 
world. But for this I need to redeem my time machine. I put it 
in Lombard, being fully confident that

I can buy. But here I do not know how
and I have nothing to live on. I spent all
money, and I must go home. Help me buy my car. Please!

   - How much? - I closed my eyes.

   - Fifteen million rubles. The point
that this machine - made of pure gold ...

   This idiot for tell the tale of
machine time required to me fifteen
million! Laughter, and only! I was speechless.

   - I give! - Almost cried Boris.

   I do not think of nothing better than to
advise him to visit a psychiatrist.


                   0111


   In the morning I was awakened by the phone. First
the thought flashed in a sleepy brain, which is
again calls eccentric named Boris from
America. While I was drawn to the tube in his head spun several 
combinations three-story structures from the lexicon of savage 
tribe Umba-Yumba. 

   - Yes - bodrenko I barked into the phone.

   - Jury? Trouble. Robbed the central office
"Inforkoma. - It said one of the secretaries on duty. - Police 
have already created. 

   - Now come ... - I hung up the phone and
the rest escaped to freedom crumbling three-story structure: - 
Aphids! 

   Evening talk again surfaced in my
memory. This is it! That's exactly it.


                   1000


   At night, someone stole money and documents.
Disappeared as the source of some programs
and operating systems. I suggested that poly
tion as quickly as possible to give the command for all
pawnshops that were not given inherent
things to a man named Boris gates (although,
name, surely, imaginary) and accounted for
Spectrum of its eight hundredth volume sketch. In order not to 
introduce spies into thinking the story of the time machine was 
prudently made beyond my story. The man, in my version, just

I was blackmailed and extorted money. Racket.
Yes, the racket! My version will appeal to all.
Even myself. Of course, this racket
thief in one person. Name is Boris Gheit.


                   1001


   It was never caught. A man with such
name never appeared. Everything! Out!
Vanished!


                   1010


   A few days later, when sales
our ZX / 2 and Fotomarketa achieved results
cord marks, I received a letter. Longhand on paper. It lay in
mailbox. Contents of the letter again
forced to remember this trouble.


                   1011


   "I still attain their own. And you are
you know. You already know that I'm back in
the past and now I have it all. Your
the future will not occur. I'll take this link to
chains of history. And someday you'll wake up in my world and 
my world will forget how sleep. In the end, what is the future -

only the next link in the chain of time ... Goodbye. Bill 
Gates. " 


                   1100


   The first time I had a long skewer in his hands bruised, 
torn from a notepad sheet and looking at your BMW, parked

porch of my house. Sleepy security guard for

glass dressing room reading the latest issue of the newspaper 
"yesterday." "How can he change our the world? "- I thought. -" 
Brad, but funny. " 


                   1101


   On this day we celebrated the sale of one hundred thousandth 
of the software package operating system ZX / 2. The invitation 
was a lot. Our chiefs could even "write" from the

London itself, Sir Clive Sinclair. In
height of the party, someone suggested to drink
for the richest man on earth.
Inventor of the Spectrum, adjusted his glasses,
politely thanked those present and
expressed hope for an early release of a new,
nine hundredth Spectrum with truly unique capabilities. I came 
home midnight.



                   1110


   That night I had nightmares. I dreamed that I raise a toast 
to Sir Clay Sinclair Island, and from the chair lifts man in a 
black three-piece suit, I look and see that it was not Sir 
Clive, and Bill Gates, he's Boris Gheit. Bill leaves behind his 
desk, goes to the service staff and asks you to bring Pisi. 
Yes, he said so - Pisi. I am stunned, even with little fear, 
looking at something like two burly guy in the room make two 
cardboard box. Them written IBM PC.



                   1111


   Morning woke up in a cold sweat. Something
I often have dreams lately
nightmares. I quickly threw back the covers and climbed into
his worn sneakers. Included
computer. As Georgia "Windows 95" I
had time to wash and put the kettle on the stove.
Mailer will automatically turn the computer
zastrekotal modem, deflating the next
portion of the e-mail. With a cup of tea and
sandwiches, I settled comfortably in his chair and began to 
read the latest mails. In the FIDO 

all was still. Someone cursed,
someone hunted jokes, someone was arguing to
hoarse about the meaning of life. After breakfast, I
picked up the phone and dialed Oldman.

   - Yes, - sighed wearily tube.

   - Hello. That's me. Collected number?

   - Uh-huh. Only here the demo version of "Megabolla" does not 
fit. Can remove the music in application? She eats a lot of 
space. 

   - Clear. And you can "Megaboll" removed.

   - Call Zonov? They take my license? -
Oldman asked.

   - Yes, sort of - I yawned.

   - The main thing would be enough to pay the authors.

   - Uh-huh. Okay, I'll be in one firmochki call. They invited 
me to work. 

   - Well, phoned.

   - Bye! - I hung up.


                   0000


   The mailbox was empty. At the entrance to the
the first floor of an unpleasant smell of garbage. I
jumped into the street and put a cigarette in his mouth.
Flicked a cigarette lighter and lit. The weather was
disgusting. All summer not occurred. The wind blew in cloudy 
skies are gray clouds. Carefully avoiding the huge puddles I 
walked to the tram stop ... 



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