Think #09 30 апреля 1998

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

               Jokes



Run rabbits in the woods, they saw - losi.Okruzhayut
moose and they ask:
 - Tough to eat?
 - No.
 - Then, from each of five and free.
The next day, running rabbits, meet
All the same moose.
 - Tough to eat?
 - No
 - From each according to five and free.
Zamayalis moose and went to the wolf.
 - Wolf, we'll be cool?
 - No problem, guys, I will.
The next day, running rabbits in the woods,
encounter moose.
 - Tough to eat?.
 - Yes!
Elks rastupayutsya goes wolf. Rabbits make way, goes the bear.
 - So, with a steep steward, with the rest of the top five!


               *

A man a fish float lovit.Vidit Steels fluctuate. "Sooner 
podcekat, puct swallow," thinks muzhik.Poplavok Steels has a 
strongly kolebatcya. "Sooner, puct probably swallow," thinking 
man. Poplovok ckrylcya under water, Rod - arc. A man excitedly 
podcekaet and drags the bait on cebya. Worm flies out of the 
water and yelling:  - Man, are you stunned? I was a little fish

not celi!


               *

Konchilic a peasant worms. What should I do? Found a sliver and 
it napical: Kracny worm. " Only zabrocil bait - immediately 
bite. Napryagaetcya guy, drags ... Look, and this log. And it 
nadpic: "awesome bream.



               *

Chapay Petya and drink vodka. Suitable Furmanov:
 - Wow! Vodka! I would be the third!
 - No - the fourth. Three we have already sent!


               *

Chapay Petya and wash in the bath.
 - Well, you have dirty feet, Vasily Ivanovich ...
 - So I'm older than you will!


               *
My wife tells her husband:
 - I'll go wash my pocudu, but you still ickupay
daughter.
 - Okay.
Spuctya some time out of the bathroom razdayutcya wild cries of 
her daughter. Wife vce brocaet, runs into the bathroom and sees 
a picture - a husband for volocy whips her daughter in the 
bathroom, and she yells ictoshno.  - What are you, a monster, 
doing? Why should a volocy?

 - Yes! And you porobuy The record in this boiling water!


               *

Sit Petka and Vasily Ivanovich on the tree.
Suddenly, the tree fits and starts elephant
shake him.
Vasily Ivanovich, could here his nest?
-You're a fool Petka, they live in caves!


               *

 - Girl, you go out?
 - Yes, get out.
 - And you go ahead?
 - Yes, go.
 - And you were asked?
 - Yes, ask.
 - So what are you saying??


               *

 - Doctor, my head spin!
 - Yes, I see myself ...


               *

 - You do not know what kind of monster?
 - This is my wife.
 - Oh, sorry, I did silly!
 - No, I did that stupid.


               *

Reaches into the packed tram girl:
 - Skip, skip, skip to the pregnant woman.
 - Excuse me, but where it is clear that you are pregnant?
 - Oh right, what do you want me half an hour to be seen.



               *


Jealous wife daily inspects the jacket of her husband, and for 
every hair, found it, happy with his jealousy. Once she found no

hair and cried out:
 - That's what you came, not even brezguesh
bald women!


               *

Husband returning home from a hunt, call
his wife from the station:
 - Mary, it's me. Going home.
 - How to hunt, my dear?
 - Everything is normal, the month will not buy
meat.
 - You killed a moose?
 - No, propyl salary.


               *

 - Johnny, why do you wear shoes in three
sizes smaller than needed?
 - You see, my wife is ugly, sloppy, also poorly prepared, the 
son learns ugly mother-in-law grumbled incessantly. 

   The only joy in my life
when I take off shoes in the evening.



               *


Go to train two women: one young, one old and three men. Calls 
in of the tunnel, the sound of the kiss

and after him - the sound of slapping.
Young thinks:
 - That's it, old woman, kiss ... No to me
kiss!
Old thinking:
 - Oh, you young people went. Kiss to the first counter!
The first man thinks:
 - Once again I'll drop into a tunnel - once again a kiss!
Second thought:
 - Once again, a kiss - once embedding!
Third thought:
 - Once again vrezhut - at the next stop
I will go down! "


               *


Sitting on the fence in two cocks: urban and rural. Bored. 
Rustic here and says:

 - Come on, is that it pokukarekaem?
 - Let's go down to the cooking - at
naked chicken look.



               *


Walking down the street granny, and she to meet completely 
naked girl. Grandma was indignant:  - What are you, my dear, 
mad?  - No, grandma, just in my erotic dress!

 - So you have to first iron to iron



               *



The husband comes home hungry.
 - Wife, give me to devour!
 - A magic word?
 - Run ... your mother!



               *


They sailed on the same ship, and a student dean.
The ship crashed against the rocks, and the two of them 
stranded on the island of cannibals. Lead them to Leader:

 - What to do with them?
 - Students to feed, drink and sleep
lay, and with this I'll talk more about his
distribution!


               *