Energy #04 03 мая 1997

Юмор

Tales from the Crypt-2 - LORD of CHAOS (chapter 4-8)

             Tales from the Crypt



                            (C) WEREVOLWES


               Part IV


                - Want to be happy?

                - Be it!

                                 (TV-Bred)



     Corporal opened his eyes. Everything was dark. Something 
solid lay under his head and ikalo quietly.


     - Dizzy! - Called softly Cpl.

     Pillow stopped hiccuping and rising, it was an egg.

     - Kkapral, you have no chance of-vodka?

     - No, even if it would not give.
You better tell me, where are we?

     - The prisoner must be assumed. I remember
just as the user opened a bottle and
I immediately became ill ...

     - You are always wrong, as soon as there comes a crucial 
moment - the evil Corporal whispered, groping around his hands, 
trying to find anything similar to the output.


     - The way you Corporal, the first lost consciousness - 
Dizzy offended. 

     - Hmm? Perhaps ... - Ozobocheno said Cpl - Damn it, this 
absolutely not no way, how we got here? 

     - Exactly! - Rang
top,

     - It's a trap, and you do not get out of here. The 
corporal looked up, but nothing not seen.


     - Who are you? - Commanding voice
cried the Corporal.

     - Ay-yay-yay, do not forget the good old
Friends - sweet pronounced at the top - well
Remember where you were living in lately?

     - I lived in Pensil ... Dracula!?

     - He is, so you now own, as if
in a vat of cabbage! - At the top of maliciously
laughed.

     - Corporal - whispered Dizzy - here
that there is cabbage? I would eat, and then ...

     - Hey you! - Corporal shouted, - remove
us!

     - Heh! with what is reason? Me to you
Now do not care - care delivered
Dracula.

     - And to yourself to eat? You do not know
That we have very little left to this user
subjugated the entire virtual world. We must
to stop this outrage!

     At the top was laughter and applause.

     - I do not care about the virtual world
I am a real person, and you invented, so
that bye-bye boys! - Even more malignantly
heard at the top.

     - Hey! rat bat! - Corporal shouted,

     - Come back bastard! Kill, on a wall razmazhu!

     - Corporal, he was gone? - Dizzy asked cautiously.

     - It looks like, yes!

     - Probably at the top of a pass - even
Dizzy said cautiously.

     - So what? - Angrily said
Corporal in thought imagining how he would
Dracula smear on the wall.

     - Corporal and you still have elixirs?

     - Like so ... Wow! Well, listen, and you
brainy! - Joyfully exclaimed Corporal,
removing bubbles from the elixir.

     - Egghead - proudly corrected Dizzy.

     - Yes, but how do I see any of them
intended for the flight? - Upset
Cpl.

     Dizzy has set its most extreme and
handed Kapral - This!

     Cpl little pause, drank the contents of the bubble. Easy 
spinning in my head and Corporal uncontrollably incurred up.


     - Me, I forgot! - Squealed Dizzy

     The corporal tried to slow down the rise,
but it was too late, hit his head on the ceiling.
Coarse mat read gloomy vaults.

     - Kaaaaaaapraaaaaaal! - Dizzy afraid cried the first time 
he heard the swearing Corporal - Get me out! 

     - ....! .....! .......! - Answered
The corporal, landing on the edge of a precipice.



                Part V


                     - Compassion will save the world!


                      (One helluva lot of clever)



     - I do not know you so well you see in the dark - Corporal 
gently parted the bushes hands - the egg, and vision as a Cats!


     - I do not see in the dark with what
did you take?

     - Come on modesty, "FLY" on the bubble since dismantled.

     - I have not seen what is written there, and
I can not read, I just enjoyed the insight! - Revenge, Dizzy 
said, rubbing his bruised side, Cpl dropped it in the propost 
tripled. 

     - Int ..??? - Cpl choked with indignation

     - Well, yes, it was well chosen to
surface - Dizzy was unmoved.

     - What if ... Well amlet, I know ...

     - I would have asked no insults - arrogantly said Dizzy - 
all happened because I'm guessing you took off! 

     Corporal angrily shrugged shutter.

     - Private Dizzy, go ahead, his mouth does not
open, alcohol does not drink up!

     Dizzy proudly led the way, avoiding
each yamku.Kapral carefully adjusted his knapsack with 
cobblestones - without them it all the time pulled into the 
sky. Everything was dark and quiet. Through the crowns of 
trees, punching a virtual moon 

     - Corporal - Dizzy asked, forgetting
order to remain silent - and how you think, where
Karateka?

     - I do not know - said grimly Corporal probably local 
eagles Lo ... 

     - Where are the eagles? - Clearly sounded nearby.

     Dizzy with Corporal fell both in
team on the ground.

     - Hey guys, it's me! - Rustic
voice Karateki led lying on the ground in
feeling.

     - Whew! I really thought it would end, but I
no time to regret aimlessly lived years in the virtual world - 
Corporal shook out muzzle Marsack, zabivshiysya moss.


     - Karateka! Dizzy rushed to embrace,

     - We-really think you will not see, where have you been?

     - Yes, I fished the eagles - mumbled Karateka.

     - Well, what did I tell you? - Corporal
gleefully chuckled. - Well, what progress? Many
caught?

     - One - Karateka sadly sighed, - and he was a vampire.

     - Vampires! - Y Corporal sparkle
eyes - I hope you strangle this beast
?

     - No, he apologized for what was pretending eagle and I 
let him go, he's kind ... 

     - UPSSS! - Corporal choked - well, you and
fool! Excuse me? " And the memory of the meeting
He left nothing?! That blockhead! -
The corporal sat on a stump. Dizzy pitifully looked at Karateku.



               Part VI



                         - Against the scrap is not

                           Reception ...


                           (Lenin)



     - Corporal, oh my bad - Dizzy slowly began to slide down.

     - Karateka! Hold it! -Yelled Corporal
vsazhivaya turn into a lion of enormous size.

     - Corporal, he slips out!

     - Take this!

     - I can not!

     - Hold!

     - Oh my bad ...

     Two huge bears trying to
shake off the tree sitting, were poured
liquid with a smell like an egg-able.

     - Sit quietly - Corporal squeezed in
fork two knots elusive Dizzy.

     Gathered at the bottom of the cheerful company of
three lions, two bears and crooked dwarf. Corporal shots did 
not cause anyone harm.


     - Puli certainly not the caliber? -
Wishing comfort Corporal asked Karateka

     - No, the caliber of normal - Corporal
stuck in Marsack latest clip - Bullet
here silver needed, you can see what
brute?

     - What can we do, Corporal? - Asked
Dizzy sobbing.

     - It is necessary to somehow blame here ... Karateka where 
are you? 

     - Pass the buck! - Shouted and Karateka
dropped down.

     Bottom of the landfill started, heard
Sounds brutal blows Karateki and howling animals. Oblique 
strokes fell in different directions, most of all to get, not 
what unwilling tree on which sat Corporal and Dizzy.


     - Maaaamaaa! - Another aperkot in
Dizzy tree shook in the bottom. Shmyaknuvshis
the head of the dwarf, Dizzy bounced and rolled into a ravine, 
where it was quiet, pretending ostrich egg.


     - Watch out! - Shouted the corporal kicking off the head 
of the unfortunate dwarf satchel with cobblestones. Following 
the satchel flew The corporal, who decided that to die because 
of male combat. For oblique shocks Karateki, joined with 
targeted strikes Cpl. After three minutes on the ground was 
littered the mutilated corpses of animals and smiling

dwarf.

     - But! -Corporal looked around the field
battle

     - Yes, really! - Proudly said, shaking
Karateka.

     - I had no idea what a terrible
strength we are endowed with - Corporal looked at
dents terrible fist in the tree.

     - Cool! - Out of the ravine and climbed Dizzy
calmly walked up to standing, we ask them cool!

     - Yeah, especially you!

     - I am the way Pobol you fought, so he took the language! 
- Dizzy picked up by the neck, smiling radiantly, dwarf. 

     - And he can help us! -Corporal
looked at the dwarf - Oh baby, Tell me
Uncle, where's your daddy?



            Part VII


                - Here we meet ...

                                (Wwol_Ars)



     - Corporal, swill he play the fool -
Dizzy lifted the rope accident dwarf - he walks around the 
circle, I was the third just pass by this trunk!


     - Yes! but what can we do? He is one
knows where to find user - Corporal carefully examined wrought 
iron chest. 

     - Corporal, why do not we see what's in the trunk? - Asked 
Dizzy, omitting the dwarf on the ground, which began

gasp from the rope.

     - He was locked up ...

     - And we will ask Karateku, he will crack, right? - Dizzy 
respectfully felt huge muscles Karateki


     - Well, I do not know - zabubnil Karateka, taking the 
castle, together with a piece of iron. In chest was heard 
scuffling and silent curses. 

     - Ouch! - Dizzy squeaked, hiding behind
Corporal - there is someone ...

     - Come out! - Corporal shouted, striking his boot into the 
wall of the chest. By impact jumped back cover, followed by 
jumping Dracula. 

     - Eagle ... - Sadly concluded Karateka and froze.

     - Stop or I'll shoot - before he shouted Corporal embed in 
Dracula dozen bullets. 

     - Corporal, well, why cloak perforate,
a new fact - said reproachfully Dracula
fallen down back into the trunk.

     - Oh, you bastard, what are you doing here?

     - Sidyu ...

     - Sit? Well, sit on, -
The corporal barked angrily, throwing in the trunk
stick of dynamite.

     - Not that! Dracula-haste
returned the sword back Kapral .....

     Through the explosion was heard as a fun
laugh escaping into the marshes dwarf. When
smoke cleared, Dracula is not bylo.Kapral hung on a bough head 
down. Dizzy verescha, that he cooked in a cool, splashing in a 
puddle. Karateka stayed in the same position, only a little 
smoke streamed out of the hair. 

     - Here's a reptile! - Coughed Cpl. Bitch cracked and 
crashed to the ground Cpl. 

     - That he ever so rudely, without warning ...- Corporal 
gently touched huge shyshku on his head.


     - A chefo tefya fredufrezhdaf - heard from a crater - you
perforated nafyal .- Dracula slowly crept out of the
well

     - Here is survivable, infection - Corporal reached for 
Marsack. 

     - But, but! Enough, "Dracula hastily
put a spare jaw - we can dogovoritya.

     - With vampires, I talk a short Dizzy, give me a magic 
dagger. 

     - Corporal, let's not get excited,
you're looking for the user, right? I know where he is, and I 
can show.


     - How do you know where is he?

     - He lied to me, said that if I
you get caught, then returns me to the real world
I did it, and he locked me in the chest ...

     - Serves you right, but we will do
without your help, Dizzy! You bring me
Daggers finally or not? - Cpl reached out to the puddle. Dizzy 
in a pool was not ... 



                Part VIII


                  - Through the thorns to the stars

                   (Author forgotten by descendants)



     - Maybe he drowned? - Karateka tearfully slumped in a pool 
- Corporal, well, where do he could have gone?


     - Find the ... - Not confidently said
Corporal, wiping his avaricious man's tears. -
Bastard, he was decent, but I went to him
too attached, we find!

     - Yes, I say to you that this user
he stole - Dracula tried to get up.

     - Down! - Cpl pressing the heel of the face of Dracula 
back in the dirt. - All because of the you'll rock the boat, 
shoot! 

     - Cpl! Yes, you can finally stop
I beat him - Dracula angrily spat mud .- I said that quote
you where you want to .. - A new kick with his boot
Dracula plunged into mud up to their ears.

     - Karateka, we are in the penultimate part of the story, 
what do you think, AUTHOR will allow me to shoot this rat 
though, would be in the last lines? 

     - I do not know - sob Karateka -
better, he would have us back Dizzy

     - True, but a bit later - thought
AUTHOR ...

     - Okay lift! - The corporal pulled from
dirt spitting Dracula. - Lead us Susanin Hero - steel muzzle 
Marsack Bound Dracula's back - and I see no tricks, just that 
Karateka you in sheep's horn twist!


     Dracula grimly regurgitated stone and
slowly walked straight into the swamp. With difficulty
vydiraya feet of sticky, smelly mud,
small group moved slowly
through the first level. Almost at the edge
marshes on Karateku attacked hefty gator.

     - Then sew the Princess her purse and
his boots - smiled happily Karateka, vzvalivaya on the 
shoulders of a crying plaintively crocodile, which his whole 
life so strongly kicked.


     At the second level had a crocodile
fry on a hot lava, since all
terribly hungry. The resulting hot
was completely eaten Karatekoy, and Corporal
Dracula has refused stinking swamp
Tina meat.

     - And to me anyway - Karateka wiped
chin sleeve - I, you know,
big bug, so I will approach any food, anyway it does not digest.

     - And what is interesting-she go?
- Asked the corporal, doedaya found Dracula apple.

     - I do not know - indifference Karateka said, carefully 
folding the crocodile skin. 

     - Carries fools - Dracula licked his lips, glancing 
angrily at how brazen taken from him an apple in its mouth 
disappears Corporal hungry.


     - Well, go ahead! - Cpl spat
tail of an apple and shoved into the back of Dracula.

     - Lead us on, a lover of acidic
cabbage, she already misses you!

     Dracula walked slowly dark tunnels


                    To be continued ...