Wallpaper #02 31 мая 1998

Юмор

Funny - about normal and abnormal people.

             5. FUNNY!



Obscheizvesno that the entire population of the Earth
divided by the normal people and those who
deals with the computer. And the first with
Every year it becomes less and
less. Therefore, once the normal
people willingly sits down
computer safely call nurses,
because it will save only the early
prevention.


          Stage of disease,

       symptoms and treatments:


           The first stage (light):


  Symptoms: A man sits at the
computer, turns it works
goes home at the end of the day, after
Why not remember about your computer before you
the next morning. Appetite and sleep
normal. Headaches and diarrhea
no.
 Recommended treatment: The treatment
temporarily not needed.



      The second stage (featherweight):


  Symptoms: The patient is observed
increased interest in computer
manifests itself in an unhealthy excitement,
covering it with a specified
object. Appetite is normal. Sleep
restless, with cries and
outcry. Delayed at work
for 2-3 hours and tramples button.

  Recommended Treatment: Remove
patient from the computer, taking into
rubbing alcohol 3 times a day to 0.5
tablespoons. Computer Books
hide in inaccessible places. With work
meet.



    The third stage (moderate):


  Symptoms: The patient lingers on
work more than 4-5 hours after
working hours and saves money for your home
computer. In everyday life begins
use computer terminology and
does not respond to wide-eyed
others. Increased appetite. Sleep
restless, shouting with jargon
catchwords and causeless laughter. Comes
in a dramatic stimulation in the form of computer
or when meeting with patients in stage 3 and
above. In this case, the disease may
Go to the 4-th stage.

  Recommended treatment: the patient
isolated from society and, despite
its resistance, remove from
computer money away, to marry. When
violent behavior and refusal of treatment
introduced intragastrically 2.1 bucket of vodka
with port "777", mixed in
1:2 ratio. Basin does not give.



      The fourth stage (severe):


  Symptoms: The patient buys
computer and modem. It is replete
various computer words and their
combinations. Nova invents words and
saving money on a dedicated telephone
line. Appetite is greatly increased. Eat any
food at any time in the presence of food.
Sleeps 3-4 hours a day, as night
calls on the modem and for each connection
publishes screams description Third Volume
book "Animal Life" (Chapter 11,
behavior of male rhesus monkeys in the marriage
period). On others respond poorly.
Libido decreased. Vomiting, Work,
delirium and diarrhea is absent.
 Recommended treatment: Treatment to be
only in a hospital.



        Fifth stage (loss):


  Symptoms: The diseased plants themselves BBS,
which devotes all his free calls
and programming time. Speech
indistinct, consisting of 80 or more
percent of computer jargon
mixed with the special terminology. Appetite
and no sleep. Eat only what
falls well outside the line of sight,
nezavisemo the type and quality of the product.
Has a strong scattering -
For example, lights up a box of matches and
others. On others drew attention
only if they pronounce
phrases related to your computer. Sex
attraction is absent, since
periodically feels
deep udovlevoreniya on line at
screen, "Connect 19200 ...". Holds about
Computer nightly bowl and a packet of tea,
who forgets to dissolve in water.

  Recommended treatment: Treatment is not
subject.


                       Boris Savin