Polesse #14 29 декабря 1999

Scribble brain - The rules of survival in the chemical laboratory. Woodpecker.

       Karakul BRAIN


(C) PAVEL / SPIDERS



   Hi, Spectrum-compatible machines. Once you
have already read this text, it seems to be in front of you is 
nothing but as the regular edition of the newspaper Homel 
Polesie (if Sherlock Holmes learned of this deduction, he would 
have died of envy) ... 

   Since the nature of their activities, I have something to do 
with school, then bring to your attention an extract from the 
log "Chemistry and Life." And as far as is reasonable - to 
judge you :-)... 

   While that's all. Bye!


RULES OF SURVIVAL IN THE CHEMICAL LABORATORY



   - If you have uncorked something - zakuporte!


   - If you are in the hands of the liquid - do not pour, 
powder - do not scatter, do not release the gaseous out!



   - If you turn - off!


   - If you open - close!


   - If you understand - Collect!


   - If you can not collect - call for help craftsmen!


   - If you do not understand, do not try to collect!


   - If you otdolzhili anything - return!


   - If you use anything - keep clean and tidy!


   - If you bring anything into a mess - get the status quo!


   - If you moved anything - get to the place!


   - If you want to take something belonging to another, ask 
permission! 


   - If you do not know how it works, for God's sake do not 
touch! 


   - If it does not affect you - do not meddle!


   - If you do not know how to do it, just ask!


   - If you can not understand anything - scratched their heads!


   - If it do not understand, then do not try!


   - If you burn at work, try to get you anything
does not light up!


   - If you have something exploded, check whether there are 
any you alive!



   - If you have not learned these rules, do not enter the lab!



                 D I T E L



    Woodpecker is equipped with a beak. The beak of a 
woodpecker treasury. He hews. If a woodpecker is not hammer, 
then he is asleep or dead. Woodpecker not peck not can. Because 
the beak is always outweigh. When woodpeckers hammer, in the 
woods there is a knock. If loud - it means that the woodpecker 
is good. If quietly - bad, worthless woodpecker. 

    Woodpecker can jump from branch to branch as deftly as
sailor with bramselya on the bowsprit. Cleverly cast woodpecker 
flies not less than 30 feet, stuck to his waist and hanging for 
two hours. Opinion at woodpeckers are always negative. Strong 
woodpecker can peck at two. Giant woodpecker (in nature is not 
found) can zadolbat a small elephant. Synchronous woodpeckers 
are found only in Australia and work in pairs, links, etc., up 
to a regiment. Birthday woodpeckers - Friday. Tolerated dose 
Woodpecker - 250 decibels, or 40 X-ray, or 150 volt, or 4 
kicks. In liter jar woodpecker is impossible to drown. 
Woodpecker-male made of reinforced concrete wide 32:1, is the 
best monument to the test. 200 woodpeckers, glued back to back 
in a single panels, a luxurious sight.


    Spanish temple is the only woodpecker in the world of 
chewing bird, and his female, according to legend, can be put 
out of hollow three-quarters. Living woodpecker differs from 
the usual temperature and efficiency. Underground woodpeckers 
hammering in complete darkness, with eyes closed, from memory. 
Their ancestors were fallen into a well lined with woodpeckers.


    Particular type of rabid woodpecker does not exist, but
the number of those in any population - 77%. Pink singing
woodpecker, as well as his dancing version, found mostly
in places where alcoholics.

    Almost all urban woodpeckers - disposable with plastic
9X12 beaks and variable geometry wing. Industrial
Pneumatic woodpecker still causes controversy among
ornithologists. In particular, it questioned his ability to
to reproduce, although in the Kuzbass so-called "breakers"
woodpeckers sit in huge quantities on all the trees and even
enjoy certain civil rights, along with talking
parrots.

    The main food of woodpeckers of all kinds is soaked
saliva wood dolbanina. We also describe attacks
woodpeckers on the sacks of sugar and fruit pies. Each other 
woodpeckers, usually disdain. Instances of conflict with humans 
are rare woodpeckers, However, in the Volga region to be feared 
temechkovogo woodpecker, the victims which are the elderly, 
neglect panamkoy. Flight speed of a woodpecker - 340 meters per 
second, it induced by solar flare, is not afraid of screaming 
and always brings to the end. Complete opposite of him - a 
serene downy woodpecker lives, usually in the bushes and lilies 
of the valley nezabudok. He, in suschnsti is not a bird, as the 
conducting whole life sitting, which is why his wings are fused 
to form coat, and the beak is only the bottom half. Fed on alms.


    Pronounced hierarchy among the woodpeckers are not 
observed, although large woodpecker could easily izdolbit fine. 
In the case of foreign threats to the colony of woodpeckers 
unexplored until way distinguishes itself from Chief (usually 
major) and defensive under his leadership. After the threat of 
such a woodpecker is pelicans and leaving the colony.


    Term maturity woodpecker in the egg - two weeks after
bumps on the floor hollows. Little woodpecker sitting quietly 
and eating things that it serves. The fundamental error of 
woodpeckers - vnutriduplovy overfeeding, because of which many 
are dying and have been unable to get out young birds.


    Hand woodpecker - a phenomenon as rare as the foot, because
that the woodpecker can tame only three now forgotten ancient
words. Home woodpecker kept wrapped in a soft portyanochnuyu
matter with care and treatment did not wake up. In ancient times
Russ woodpeckers were in prince baths walking hangers
linen, crushed and fermented woodpeckers decorated every meal, 
and rare beauty bicapital woodpecker served as a prototype

our current coat of arms. And the last. If at some
carnival you will put woodpeckers - are waiting for you fame, 
success and great good luck in love.