Micro #06 31 июля 1998

Юмор

Jokes

      PARADE *** JOKES ***



  Rural Catholic priest sees the
bus stop, his young parishioner with a suitcase.

  - Where are you going, my daughter?

  - In the city, holy father. I want to become a pro ..

  - Who?

  - Prostitute.

  - Thank God! And I really thought it was - Protestant!


                  *


  On the screen a wonderful heroine discharge
unfaithful lover revolver.

  His face turned to the audience, she said, trembling voice:

  - God, what do I do now?

  - Inspect the weapons and return to the starting line - there 
was a grim commander a voice from the hall.



                  *


  - Hello, where am I?

  - This store bras.

  - Sorry, I mixed up the number ...

  - Never mind, bring, we replace!


                  *


  Talk to two friends.

  - The only thing I can reproach
her fiance, so it is that it is poorly
shaven.

  - And you try even once to visit him
on a date in time.


                  *


  Neighbor neighbor:

  - Friend, lend me a TV please!

  - Well, when you come back?

  - Yes, I only watch the movie.

  - Which movie?

  - "Santa Barbara!"


                  *


  The husband comes home from work, quickly removes
clothes, sits in a chair, turns on the TV, and there begins a 
football match. 

  The wife says:

  - And I know the score! On the radio reported, do you want to 
say? 

  - No way! I myself want to see!

  - Yes, please, look all you want.
Still did not score ...


                  *


  - You know, in our theater set
such unfrequented play ...

  - It is an understatement. When I called the cashier and 
asked what time it starts, I was told: "And when you're 
comfortable?" 


                  *


  Doorbell.

  - Who's there?

  - It's me, your husband from a trip.

  - It's not true, my husband's voice thin,
and yours - thick and coarse. Well, come.


                  *


  Is a man on the street, from behind a fence a voice:
"Green up ..." - And so every twenty
minutes.

  Peered over the fence - and there is an ensign trees planted.


                  *



  - From, klyati Muscovites ...

  - You have heard a summary of the new
Ukrainian Constitution.


                  *


  - How do you distinguish the real from the fake hryvnia?

  - Take a sheet of A4 paper, it is placed with the image of 
the hryvnia politician up and encircled with a piece of fat on 
the perimeter. If the person depicted on the bill, eyes will 
follow the lard then the real torque.



                  *


  Two girls talking:

  - The dog I want!

  - I'm a Georgian ...

  Georgians attending:

  - The girls! Av-Av ...

__________________________________________


  01.08.98g Gloom Demons


    Reprinted from the newspaper "KALEIDOSCOPE"