Think #02
16 сентября 1997 |
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Jokes - 16 jokes.
JOKES "Crocodile" - "Smiles of different latitudes" Mom sprsila small pellet: - Whom do you want - sister or brother? - If it's not really affect your figure, then I would prefer to bike ... * The captain wrote in his logbook: "The navigator was drunk today." After a few days duty navigator. He wrote in his logbook: "Today, the captain was sober." * - Remember, my son: only the early bird gets the worm - said moralizing father's son. - So what needs to be sooner rise. - How about a worm? - Asked the boy. - Do not fool if he got that earlier birdies? - You are wrong, - said he thought the father. - This worm does not go to sleep - he returning home from a party. * - Do you love me? - Lusk, asked she said. - Of course - he says. - Did you marry me? - What have you got in the habit of always changing topic of conversation? * Two friends stopped at a little hotel. Morning, one asks another: - Well, how do you sleep? - Very bad. I'm in bed, was dead flea. - So it also could not disturb you. - It is not could, but at her funeral and funeral brought together about fifty relatives. * Very high customer enters the store and trying on shoes. All rooms are he is too young. Finally bring Shoes 49-th size. - And this number is small. Then the seller said grimly: - Excuse me, sir, but after the 49-th size already begin suitcases. * In a jail cell (it happens in South America) pushed three chelovek.Arestanty begin to get acquainted with each other. - You got what? - Ask first. - For what I am against the president. - And you? - Ask the second. - For what I'm for the president. - And what do you get here? - Refer to third. - For what I am president ... * - Do you know what a cigarette? -? - Poisonous stick with the light on one end and a suicide in another. * The monkey sat on the bank of the river and concentrated rinsed in water, a banana peel. Floating alligator stared at she finally asked: - Tell me, what are you doing? Way in did not really take it. - Give me a dollar, then I will tell. - Okay, tell me more. Monkey cleverly hid the dollar and said: - You see, rinse banana peel. - Is that all? - That's all. - What a fool you are! - Maybe a fool, but without thirty dollars never go away. * Renowned author discusses in train with the pastor of Holy Scripture. - But you must admit that God created man before a woman - said the pastor. - I do not mind. I myself have been using the same method: when writing a book, you first do Draft ... * The police man rushes and says: - I've come to surrender. - What have you done? - I punched my wife ... - And killed her? - What are you! Not even scratched. - Well, that's nothing. You may go. - No way! She stands behind that door. * The beggar holds out two hats - one in each hand - and explains the surprised passers-by: - You see, sir, life is expensive, so and had to open a branch. * On the train ride two Englishmen. One of them clears the bananas, salt, and throws out the window. - Excuse me, sir, what are you doing this? - I do not like pickled bananas. * Teacher Hansen was taken to hospital and after helping put in the ward. - Car accident? - Asked the neighbor. - No, the typo in the textbook on chemistry. * - The colors of the Norwegian flag are the same as and the U.S.: the red, white and blue - tells the host farm, Americans, came to spend the summer in the mountains of Norway. - I always remember them when I send notice of tax: red, having received it, beleyu when I see the amount of taxes and sineyu when write a check for non-payment. - With me the same thing: - sadly assents American - only I still stars from his eyes roll in ... * Cleric - the boy: - You read a prayer before eating? - No. My mother was a good cook. * .......
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