Body #11 27 июля 1999

Юмор

Have a Fun - The story of a beer cap.

                          Have a Fun!

(C) W e (ke phone: (o17) 271-23-2h


      STORY WITH BEER CORK


    History with a beer cap, in effect, and not a story at all, 
but so episode.


    But for true fans and admirers Commissioner Fuhe
even minor touches to it in general, well-studied
biographies represent lasting value.

    So: The morning phone call brazenly broke into
oblivion Commissioner Fuhe and dispersed merkantilnoeroticheskie
early morning dreams.

    - Murder, Mr. Commissioner!

    - What kind of murder may be polpyatogo morning, and even in
Monday? Do not smack bullshit!

    - Mr. Commissioner, I phoned the control, and there have 
given your phone. And some hope ...


    - Oh, so they gave you? .. - Asked Fuhe, bubbling with 
anger. Well, I'll take away! Address!


    Twenty minutes later Fuhe, sleepy, disheveled and
nepohmelenny stood, swaying on the Avenue De Blanche
habitual gaze scrutinized the friendly face of the deceased.

    - Well, here everything is clear! - He said finally cop
who discovered the corpse and pulled the Commissioner of the 
bed. 

    - Tell me, who passed on the street between three hours
night, and half four in the morning?

    - No, - said the policeman. - No, Mr Commissioner.
Avenue is blocked due to the janitors strike
the day before yesterday: because of uncleared garbage piles 
here to go impossible.


    - Ha ha ha! I thought so! - Gurgled Fuhe. - And what is that
in your pocket?

    The policeman's face changed, and other body parts.

    - U-tube, beer ... - He gasped in fright.

    - So, - firmly concluded the Commissioner. - Murder 
committed an empty bottle of beer, which is still sticking out 
of my head killed. Cork - in your pocket! Motive - robbery:

victim just won a large sum to the state
lottery. Money! - Suddenly yelled Fuhe, not even straining.

    Police officer, turning pale and stammering with terror, 
reached into his pocket for his wallet, but then recollecting 
himself, began to unbutton holster.


    Fuhe, without haste, and gave him the opportunity to pull 
out a gun and then dabbed his lightning presspape all police

entirely, and when he looked like a dried leaf from
herbarium, money once again changed ownership.

    Fuhe went to a nearby street, hailed a cab and safely
returned home before dawn. At home, he quickly undressed and,
put out the "Blue Bird", all the while sticking in his teeth,
collapsed on the sofa.

    Twenty minutes later he again roused phone
call.

    - Mr. Commissioner! - Choked tube. - Murder at the
Avenue De Blanche, two whole corpse! One - a beer bottle in the
head, the second - in police uniform, but fell under the 
steamroller or was killed somehow like a monstrous instrument! -

chirp membrane.

    "Hmm - thought Fuhe - and did not even monstrous, and most
that neither is easy! "After a night of such incidents Fuhe
is usually on the last degree of fury; today at
him from such a phone arrogance simply paralyzed speech.
 -N-s-s ".. - He bellowed into the phone.

    - Mr. Commissioner, your phone they gave me in management, 
and By the way, here on the pavement, next to the corpses lying 
about beer tube!


    - Put it in his pocket! - Finally squeezed Fuhe. - I
I leave!

    In the evening, sitting in the pub, Fuhe cooled my 
overheated organism to ambient temperature, nineteen circles

beer. Next to him from the table stuck a red mug Gabriel
Alex.

    - Tell me you do not know what idiot was on duty tonight at
phone in management? I would like to say a few kind words to 
this guy. This bastard - continued to boil commissioner - gave

my phone is not getting anyone!

    Gabriel Alex's face darkened. He lowered his eyes.

    - I was on the phone! - A sudden burst from Alex. He then
also grabbed a mug of beer and Fuhe - for the paperweight.

    And you never know what would have ended table-talk of two
cronies, but then suddenly there was a terrible force of the 
explosion, Window glass flew into the pub with the frame and 
part of the wall, visitors carried away with their chairs and 
knocked a big shapeless a bunch of little, middle of the beer 
made up of fragments of furniture, beer mugs, living and dead 
bodies. 

    A month later, when they both finally came to a little
itself, it appears that their beds are next in the intensive 
care department. Both of them were bandaged up to his ears, 
with narrow slits for eyes and mouth. Both were also plastered 
and crucified by complex systems, ropes, weights, blocks and 
balances. 

    A few hours a deathly silence, so that one could
hear overweight steps bedbugs, cockroaches and other insects
have chosen the clinic as their place of permanent residence.

    - Commissioner! .. - Finally came a hoarse whisper from 
under the plaster. 

    Fuhe not budge.

    - Commissioner! .. - Alex repeated, trying to raise his 
voice, hoarse from a long silence. - Commissioner! .. And then 
I purposely give your number to just anyone.


    Suppose, I think, our great and famous Commissioner Fuhe
s sleep well!

    Fuhe nervously twitching on the bed, hardly a smashing
mockery. And from whom? From best friend!

    - Commissioner! - Again resounded snake hiss Alex. -
Commissioner! .. But what about the three deceased, that on 
your conscience? Sleep well? Ghosts in the night does not 
bother you like? 

    Fuhe convulsively tried to grab something plastered
hand.

    - And besides, I had two broken ribs less! -
Alex continued to scoff. - What do you say?

    Fuhe said nothing on this: he finally reached for
remote life support system of Alex with a smile and shut down
oxygen supply.



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Chief Editor: Necromancer .................... mdm.270-18-47

Koder: SAT ....................................... phn.PRI-VA-TE

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Wrecker ......................................... mdm.271-23-24



                       Editorial address:
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220116 Republic of Belarus, Minsk, ul.Alibegova 3-1 | | Paul V. 
Novitsky | |················································· 
·············| | 220116 Republic of Belarus, Minsk, pr.gaz. 
Izvestia '14/1-28 | | Karachentseva Andrey |

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   'BODY-# 11' (C) SMOKERS MINSK CITY. YEAR 1999

             C U IN ZE NEXT NUMBER OF 'BODY', BYE!!!
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All articles in this issue were written Necromancer'om, helped
his advice and valuable thoughts Wrecker. Solder and inspired
new Mouzon Baz0fft.