ZX-News #50 30 декабря 1999

Lit. Page - Humor and the story "In the New Year."

         Literary Page



   We offer you a little
a fantastic story with a humorous
bias. ;-) By the way, their wishes may be made directly to the 
author at ZXNet'ovsky address:



      Sergey Svetlov (500:812 / 08.43)
__________________________________________

(C) Sergei Svetlov, 1999


            -= The New Year =

   Waking up, Michael did not realize that
it was evening. My head was splitting and spinning
after New Year's Eve, and the room to
the same was still a mess. How it all went,
He vaguely remembered - if not more.
The first thing his hand slid under the bed and felt unfinished 
bottle of vodka returned with her back. Trembling

hands, he poured himself a glass, standing beside the table and 
a volley after drinking it, looked front of him.


   Table, as he remembered, was the first spectacular. In the 
center stood a bottle of champagne, surrounded by a battery of 
liqueurs and vodka, even number and there were plates, salad 
bowls and so on, but that is now happening with

Former beauty - not budge an explanation. Except for a few 
broken plates, wine glasses so ihabarikov in the same

plates, one could say that the new
year was a success.

   "I wonder if I have time to get out before the arrival 
rodokov a problem?" - Flashed through his in the head. - Or 
maybe try to blame the disaster? " 

   Michael, still drunk, pulled up to his phone and quickly ran 
his fingers over the buttons: 

   - Sveta, hello. Listen as we night
Ran Away?

   - Yeah, - was heard in the tube - well, you have to
Andrew and gone ...

   - And what happened? - He asked warily.

   - Well, what you're arranged in three hours
disco, it's okay - she began -
but what you do with it ass to the window showed it was already 
cool. 

   He closed his eyes, trying to remember
something like that and not remembering, continued:

   - Is that all?

   - Come back later, I'm busy right now.

   Michael hung up and stared at the
Sex:

   - Bo, sat ...

   The clock was already slightly more than half
Sixth, the state has been lousy, and that
somehow come to himself, he went to
bath. After standing in the shower for fifteen minutes, Michael 
came back. 

   And it was then and sat down to God knows what.

   Entering the room, he was dumbfounded. On a brightly lit 
table, ran and partying little green creatures, resembling

something on the pears.

   - Everything! Dopilsya - murmured Michael. - Green ran.

   Greens do not seem to pay any
attention to the newcomer and continued to fuss at the table. 
They moved the dish, bottles, salad bowls, and it seemed to 
Michael, were removed. 

   He gently sat on the bed, not looking up from happening.

   - Good evening - there was a squeaky
voice.

   Michael shuddered and turned in the direction from which 
came the voice. 

   Not far from him on the bed sat grushepodobnoe creature, but 
the crimson color. 

   "And this is what is ripe? - Flashed
in his head. - And where winter fruits
speak? "

   - Excuse me, we're so unexpectedly -
start talking, "pear". - But you are so quickly returned.

   - No, nothing - hesitantly said Michael and caught myself 
thinking: "Am I and really pulled off the reel? From mirages

talk - they also do not have. "

   Raspberry turned over to the table and something
whistled. On the table, the company poured the green on the 
edge and stared at Michael. 

   Only now he noticed that the table was
removed, and even concocted his purity. In the indecision he 
touched the table top. The table was in place, and even felt. 
Michael was up to reach it, can not just a hallucination, and 
everything that happens - reality.


   - No, it can be - he said resignedly. - Brad.

   - What can not be? - Asked
crimson.

   - I know who you are - said spohvotivshis, Michael. - You 
are ... elves or ... yes it does not matter, anything in the 
New Year does not happen. 

   - Elves? - Asked crimson, and all
company, on the table, published popiskivayuschy
sound similar to laughter.

   - No, we're not elves, we're from another solar system - all 
told the same crimson. - You must have confused us with their 
folklore. 

   Michael said that when he was sound on
body being nothing was stirring, only
There were two large and, below, the two converged small dots. 
More below, under the body, lastopodobnye legs sticking out. 
Hands for some reason was not.


   Glance at a bottle of vodka that stands
near the legs of the table, Michael asked:

   - Do you mind if I drink a little?

   - Yes, please - quickly responded crimson.

   Unscrewing the cap and quickly poured myself
a wineglass, Michael quickly threw him
in his mouth. After some time in the stomach was to spread the 
heat, but my head everything swam.


   - So you mean ... uk! .. from another planet - on Mars or 
something? .. Eek! - Michael make out a hiccup.


   - No, not from Mars - said Raspberry. - We note with another 
stellar sistemmy. 

   - Ah, I understood from Alpha Centauri. Drink
be?

   Raspberry wanted to say something, but
but said nothing.

   - I still drink - he said, and poured
currently polfuzhera. - During a meeting! You at least
name?

   - If you think something brilliant - Raspberry said.

   - Ho-It is well, you'll be Black - said
Michael, drained wine glass. - Do you mind?

   - Well, - said Black.

   - E-oh, guys, excellent-it is! - He
leaning on the table, making his way to the music center. - Che 
will listen? 

   Without waiting for an answer, Michael shoved
first got the CD. Rang
rhythmic music with a decent volume
and "bass". Sitting on the table at first, seems stunned, but 
then even began to dance. 

   Alcohol is in my head started to build their
case. Attempts to portray something in the style
rap, end with a few drops
and after the last when he swung and
shmyaknulsya head against the arm of his chair, trying to stop. 
Sitting on the floor and rubbing forehead, Michael asked the 
Black: 

   - What do you enjoying yourself during the holidays?

   - We have no concept of holidays, so
we're here. Want to know what they are.

   - Well, then you've come to right place.
To get started you need a drink - to relax.

   - And this is necessary? - Asked
Black.

   - And how! - Michael blurted out in surprise. - Pour.

   Standing on a table-liter bottle of vodka, was to get rid of 
the content. Michael could not believe my eyes - from a closed 
bottle, literally, disappeared vodka. Beings, surrounding the 
vessel with alcohol somehow drank. 

   - Well you and give, - said Mikhail. -
I like your ability to ... Throughout the county
Stores would have gone bankrupt.

   But what happened next, its a little scared.

   Green on the table suddenly went crimson spots, and Black - 
green. 

   At the head of Michael crept thought: "
Maybe vodka on them is not acting as
on us? "

   Black stared at him no longer
very small eyes and squeaked:

   - In the rush!

   Taking off the table poured a glass, with Michael
a great relief to her devastated. What was
then - went down in history. They had fun,
listen to music and drinking. He quietly
for himself passed out and slept until morning. Waking up, he 
felt something a lot worse than yesterday. 

   On the table, everything was cleaned and clean, and the
edge lay a piece of paper. Took him, Michael
read something not quite comprehensible, written in his 
handwriting: 

   - Flew the green, promised more ...

   - Greenpeace, or what? - Probormatal it. -
All tied with vodka - dopilsya.

   After that, Michael walked into the bathroom and
found myself thinking that this was once
was.


    __________________________________