ZX-News #49 06 октября 1999

ZXNet

Humor - Life Network.

                   Humor



  Of course, all of the following is just
joke, but every joke has some truth.
:) It remains to say that the basis for this
article was taken from a story "Submarine
newspaper H. Sladkova - so notified brazen plagiarism. ;-)
__________________________________________

(C) 1999 by JEDI Provocative


           -= Life Network =

  Network life - it's what. You wait-time BBS'ok and before
how to call half an hour looking for among the huge pile of CDs 
you want to you today, which is svezhenapisannaya mail. 


  Then insert the disc into the drive, or download from the 
screw and, fingers crossed, dial the number of BBS, which, as 
always, always busy. Finally, after an hour dozvonki, during 
which you used phone number manually, since the modem terribly 
buggy, log on BBS. And now it turns out ... Oh, there's a lot 
of things you might find! For example, that the BBS is not 
today's mail and in addition, there is no place for the flooded 
mine. Or something that you put the wrong disc, and the time

on the BBS can not find another. Or that
Contact worse.


  It is hard to predict what will happen to you,
but something happens without fail. And have
pass the buck to the BBS (if you even earlier
not threw herself), to which you with so
hard hit. Have to, watching
clock maliciously measure off precious
night, re-dig a bunch of disks and then view them all. And then
again to dial in to BBS and there in turn to find out that:


  you downloaded yesterday's post and in addition
thrown away the day before yesterday - sown in
ehah dupy;


  suddenly deteriorated relationship;


  while you were busy trying to improve it,
BBS'ya happy you cut off for long
hovering on the line.


  Then - again in a pile of floppy disks / files. A
it appears that:


  Fresh letters absentmindedly removed;


  used a rinky-dink modem driver;


  terminalki fiddling in the settings, you have them
completely ruined.


  But you never know what!


  Then, frantically rummaging through the endless
directory of the drive you are looking for some
doctor to recover files. With difficulty
shalt find and download it, you know that
letters are not removed, just in a hurry you do not
found them among 120 files. Rushes to call a BBS, but her time 
was over and have to wait for the next night.



  But even if you do not muddler and found it
necessary - you will still be bad enough. With what pleasure 
all these utilities do not do what you want, and what you

their order. A command you give them
quite different:


  fresh kill mail instead of the old;


  then make a move;


  Next came the catalog;


  and, finally, the team format instead of restore.


  What is the use that you twenty times verifies whether push 
buttons - all equal sistemki you mercilessly breaks off.

All and sundry. Even such innocuous
programs such as viewer and player. Well
Also, if you your friend.


  Then he:


  gives various clues, following which, you are killing more 
and more files; 


  he climbs to correct errors in the final
Port account dozen other disks;


  with an air of authority delves into all sorts of
settings and works to ensure that programs are starting to work 
on the principle of RND; 


  In general, brings old scores to settle for defeat
Last Battle in the guise of humanity!


  Finally, all established. Bated breath
you again - many times! - Call for
BBS. And it turns out that:


  because of the endless fuss sysop lowered you
limit;


  soap, you still profit;


  new modem driver that you use a hundred times worse than the 
old. 


  In a rage, you bob on the keyboard and ...
with grim satisfaction admiring the colorful flashing squares.


  After all the adversity you become terribly
superstitious and suspicious. You for anything
not going to work with mail in the "heavy
day - Monday or the number thirteen. But it is you still will 
not help. All well it turns out that e-mail:



  or stored properly and tosser
glued all letters in one big messagu
for SU.TORMOZ;


  either not addressed in those ekhi;


  either do not get anywhere.


  In the end, all this fuss or clean
ward off from the power of life or clean it
infect.


  And if these things happen, then it will
the long haul!


    __________________________________