ZX-News #38 13 августа 1997

Lit.stranichka - Short Story "Woodpecker."

         LITERARY PAGE



                            Mikhail Kudinov


                  Woodpecker!


  Woodpecker is equipped with a beak. The beak of a woodpecker
treasury. He hews. If a woodpecker is not Dolby
he is asleep or dead. Woodpecker not peck not
Maybe because the beak outweighs. When
woodpeckers hammer, then the forest is distributed. If
loud, it means that the woodpecker is good.


  Woodpecker can jump from branch to branch
as deftly as a sailor with bramselya on
bowsprit. Cleverly cast woodpecker flies not
Less than 30 meters is stuck on a belt and hanging
2 hours. The view from the woodpeckers are always negative.


  Strong woodpecker can peck for two,
giant woodpecker (not found in nature) can zadolbat a small 
elephant. 


  Synchronous woodpeckers are found only in Australia and work 
in pairs, links, etc. up to a regiment. Birthday woodpeckers -

Friday. Tolerated dose Woodpecker - 250 decibels, or 40 X-ray, 
or 150 volt, or 4 kicks.



  In the liter jar woodpecker is impossible to drown. 
Woodpecker - male, made of reinforced concrete wide 32:1, is 
the best monument to the test. 200 woodpeckers, glued to the

junction in a single panel, are
a splendid spectacle.


  Spanish temple is the only woodpecker in the world of chewing 
a bird, and his female; according to legend, can be put out of

hollow three-quarters.


  Living woodpecker differs from the usual temperature and 
efficiency. Underground woodpeckers hammering in the dark, with 
closed eyes, from memory. Their ancestors had fallen into a 
well lined with woodpeckers. 


  Separate type of rabid woodpecker does not exist, but the 
number of such in any population is 77%. Pink singing 
woodpecker, as well as his dancing version, found mostly in 
public places alcoholics.



  Almost all urban woodpeckers - disposable
with plastic beaks and 9x12 with variable
geometry of the wing. Industrial pneumatic woodpecker still 
causes controversy among ornithologists. In particular, it 
questioned his ability to reproduce, although in the Kuzbass, 
the so-called "Fender" woodpeckers sit in huge quantities at 
all the trees and even enjoy some civil rights on a par with

parrots.


  The main food of woodpeckers of all kinds is saliva soaked 
wood dolbonina. The history also describes the attacks of 
woodpeckers on the sacks of sugar and fruit pies. Each other 
woodpeckers, usually disdain. Conflicts with woodpeckers people 
are rare, but in the Volga region should be fear temechkovogo 
woodpecker, whose victims are elderly people who neglect 
panamkoy. The flight speed of the Woodpecker - 340 m / sec, it 
suggests the solar flare, is not afraid of screaming and always 
carries it through. Complete opposite of him - a serene downy 
woodpecker lives, usually in the bushes and lilies of the 
valley nezabudok. He is, in essence, is not

bird, because spends all his life sitting
because of what his wings are fused to form
coat, and the beak is only the bottom half. Fed on alms.


  Pronounced hierarchy among the woodpeckers are not observed, 
although a large woodpecker could easily izdolbit fine. In the 
case of foreign threats to the colony of woodpeckers, yet 
unexplored way distinguishes itself from the Chief

(Usually major) and defensive under his
leadership. After the battle, a woodpecker
becomes pelicans and forced to leave
colony.


  Term maturity woodpecker in the egg -
Two weeks after hitting the floor with a hollow.
Little woodpecker sitting quietly and eating things that
it serves. The fundamental error of woodpeckers -
vnutriduplovoy overfeeding, because of which
killed many and have been unable to get
out young birds.


  Hand woodpecker - a phenomenon as rare,
as the foot, because tame woodpecker
only three now forgotten ancient words.


  Home woodpecker kept wrapped in
portyanochnuyu soft cloth and with care
treatment did not wake up.


  In ancient times in Russia woodpeckers served in princely 
baths seating hangers for clothes, crushed and fermented 
woodpeckers decorated with any feast, a rare beauty of the 
two-headed woodpecker served as the prototype of this emblem.

One last thing: if at some carnival you will put Woodpecker - 
you wait for glory success and great luck in love.



        RECOMMENDED READING:

1., "The Commissioner of the forest", Moscow, 1962.
2. "Our small nails, M., 1956.
3. 'Bird against the tank, "Moscow: Military Publishing, 1982.
4. "Goosey with his beak, M.: Kunniligus, 1994.