ZX-News #25 01 апреля 1997

Humor - "Stirlitz - Russian SysOp" (Chapter 5).

                  HUMOR



          SELECT FIDOSHNY HUMOR


         Stirlitz - Russian SysOp.



              CHAPTER A 5


  His hands in his pockets, walked Stirlitz
corridor. His mood was unusually
funny thing that happened to him often. Center
finally responded to his requests, sent
a new, clean hard drive and promised soon
send a new radio operators. From behind the door with
the words "Gestapo" came the plaintive popiskivaniya like 
behind that door to someone reformatted into the nose.



  "Horrible room - thought Stirlitz -
here all the time someone beat him. "
The door creaked opened with a modem, and
Stirlitz saw his good friend Eismann. Stirlitz not without 
pleasure, recalled how last week defeated the EC, whose owner 
was a Jew. 

 - A Stirlitz! - One eye Eismann
sparkled with joy - you're something to me is just
needed. Question for there. Programming language of the six 
letters on the "we." Huh?  - I do not know. Mumu, I suppose.

 - Suitable. Eismann has written "Mumu."
 - Who beat? - Asked Stirlitz, lighting. Eismann reached for 
floppies.  - Is there one. Someone Pastor Schlag.



  They entered the room. Two dense stalwart
Gestapo systematically beaten plump
man in a cassock. On the face of a man frozen in
began to play a submissive expression.
 - What you accuse, you beast? - Oral
Gestapo - for that you took? Where is your
file?
 - Here, - said Eismann - Bormann gave the order to feel, but 
it lost. But this bastard does not confess to blame.

 - What are you accused? - Chorus bursting Gestapo. The pastor 
was silent. Stirlitz remembered the case of the pastor who

he had somewhere seen.
 - Give it to me, Eismann, - he said.
 - Why do you have this fat pig?
 - The Bormann like. - Eismann laughed.
The Gestapo brought Schlag office Shtirlitsa. The pastor was 
standing at attention. " Stirlitz sat on the edge of the 
clamshell.  - Sit down.

 - Thanks, I'll stand.
 - Sit down, damn you to hell.
Pastor Schlag wearily down on a stool.

 - Toner want? - Asked Stirlitz and poured him a glass of cold 
toner. They talked for half an hour. Stirlitz pastor liked. 
Schlag, no doubt, was clever, and his reflections on women led 
Shtirlitsa underwhelming. 

 - All is well, - said Stirlitz, but
Still, the pastor, who you rabotaete?
 - Mr. Standartenfiihrer! I am ready to work for anybody, and, 
honestly, I nothing wrong.

 - Well, - said Stirlitz - you'll work for me.

He pressed Alt-F7, and find the file PASTOR.ARJ.
 - That I took the Gestapo your file. Read!
Pastor press F3. Dolistav to the place where
he was accused of working for someone else's intelligence,
He raised his eyebrows in surprise.
 - And why they have that I'm on someone
work? It's the same bullshit!
 - Now you're working on me - recalled
Stirlitz.
 - Yes, yes, of course ...
 - Pastor, why did you do so many women?
 - This is my parish - the pastor lowered his eyes
Schlag, - or rather, parishioner.
 - And how old are you?
 - Winter will be fifty-two.
 - And why you still do not get married?
Pastor Schlag blushed with embarrassment.
 - I'm still young enough to think about women.
Stirlitz twirled in the hand of the printer and printed pass.
 - You are free. When necessary, I will
find. If anyone would bother, link to me, I ot'table'yu Face 
it, they I know.

Pastor thanked Shtirlitsa long and still not believing that he 
is finally free, gone. 


  Stirlitz stretched, yawned and lay on a cot. In his mind 
matured a tremendous plan. He dozed off. Suddenly in the office 
burst Eismann.  - What are you, let him go?

 - Who? - Sleepily asked Stirlitz.
 - That pastor stinking ...
 - It is split - said Stirlitz - and
even agreed to be my agent.
 Eismann respectfully looked at Shtirlitsa
and adjusted his black eye patch.
 - Yes, Stirlitz, but you know how to work
with people.

 They drank toner, Eismann said a couple of
new rude jokes, they quarreled
What about a new virus Bormann and lastly
Eismann advised to beware embed
drives in the second computer from the door. So
They stayed until the end of the day.


          To be continued ...


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