ZX-News #20 19 декабря 1996

Юмор

Humor - "Telestsenary: Salvation-911.

                   Humor



                Ilya Fomin



        SELECT FIDOSHNY HUMOR OR

            GORBUHI FROM Fomin.


       Part of what he has forgotten already ...


       "Telestsenary: Rescue-911



 <Title> Telestsenary

  Rescue-911

 


  Narrator: This program describes
about all sorts of terrible situations. You will learn
with people whose work - permanent deed.
These are people of rare courage - they fall into
panic only in case of danger.


  Dispatcher: That day I was on duty on the phone and turned on 
rescue answering machine who has given us a firm in the case

if the service will not save anyone.


  Answering machine: Says 911. Sorry, but no one in the office, 
write a message about your misfortune, and as soon as someone 
will come, you are immediately rescued. 


  Presenter: I was walking down the street and breathe the fresh
American air. I always breathe the air, when I do not want to 
choke. Suddenly I I saw that under the bridge over the railroad 
tracks, grabbing hold of the parapet, hanging boy. Coming 
closer, I realized that I was mistaken, and went on. 


  Witness: Sure, he made a mistake - it is
was not a boy, a little girl. We
his wife looked at her in the morning.


  Wife: We would like to call the emergency services, but were 
afraid to even take a second look. We thought that if we for a 
moment looking away, the girl immediately dropped to the 
railroad tracks. 


  Witness: Yes, she held a miracle of
last forces. On it was scary to watch. I would close my eyes, 
but I was afraid sleep since the night sleeping with his wife 
and so do not sleep all night.



  Moderator: I realized that was wrong, when I finished the day 
and, of course, returned. Boy, was a girl, yet hung. It is very 
dangerous, as the little girl hanging on the bridge themselves, 
without parents. These girls may fall and damage the railway 
track. 


  Girl: That day, returning from training in judo, I decided to 
hang a bridge, holding hands on the parapet. Sun was shining, 
but I hung in and did not notice asleep ...



  Moderator: I noticed that the girl's hands
slipping into sleep. To the edge were a few centimeters.


  Witness: When the edge only a matter of inches, I told my 
wife about it. 


  Wife: My husband told me that he stayed a few centimeters, 
and I asked him to count them. 


  Girl: Staying a few inches when I woke up and clutched normal.


  Narrator: She probably just did not want to die. I decided to 
drink beer and not waiting for rescuers to begin to rescue the 
girl. 


  Rescuer John: And then we arrived. Smith
stated mission and smoothed all the formalities, but this time 
I handed the girl alpenstock that the girl could grab

for him. But then somehow I lost my balance and fell off the 
bridge. 


  Girl: I would have chosen, when
one uncle started poking me in the face
hammer. I thought it was a bully, and
very scared. I snatched the hammer and
abruptly pulled him over and to the side.


  Rescuer Smith: I saw that John fell
from the bridge, but grabbed the girl's legs and hung on them.


  John: I told the girl that I rescuer
like Chip and Dale, only adult.


  Girl: When the usher told me that he
Chip and Dale, only an adult, I realized that
he was mad. I called for help.


  Smith: Podbodrenny screaming girls, I
bent over to pull out of John, but slipped on a banana peel, 
which I ate, and fell off the bridge.



  Manager: Helicopter rescue from
complete set of tools for the restoration of railway already 
flies to the bridge when he stalled the engine. I thought: what 
would happen if they all fall on track and hurt them, and I 
felt sick. I wanted to drink beer, but beer is nowhere was.



  Smith: I've already managed to grab the feet of John, when in 
my legs grabbed pilot from zaglohshim helicopter engine.



  Pilot: It's good that I'm always strapped to a helicopter 
seat belt, and then he fell down, right on the rails!



  Girl: I'm tired, that I hang all sorts of crazy, and here and 
a helicopter ... I tightened and climbed onto the bridge, 
pulling for him all those fools with a helicopter ... I thought 
those crazy want to rape me and ran.



  Smith: I saw a girl running away from
rescuers, and knew that she had a shock. In this state, she 
could do all that anything - to get under the car, set fire to 
the house, destroy an ant hill, damaging railway tracks ... We 
ran over a girl calling on the radio for reinforcements.



  Father: I cleaned the yard when he saw
his girl. Behind her was chasing the crowd crazy with a 
helicopter. 


  Girl: When I saw my father, I stopped being afraid and began 
to help him clean up in the yard.



  Smith: When we saw the girl and her
Dad clean the yard, we realized that it
saved.


  Q: You just heard the story
of how courage and determination
Rescuers helped save the girl and the railroad. The next time 
we'll you know why that day is nowhere in America

were beer ...


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