ZX-News #09 15 октября 1996

Юмор

Humor - Bad advice. (Posveschaets G. Oster).

                   Humor



         Prepared for publication

                 in ZxNews

            Alexander Mayorov



              Sergey Minaev

             Yuri Nesterenko.


                      Dedicated

                    Grigory Oster



             Bad advice.

             --------------

        If the secretary boss

        Of interest to you lost,

        Sandwiches does not feed

        And the coffee is not calling -

        On her mouse pad

        Pour some glue

        And she will tell you immediately

        A lot of warm words.


        If your rukovodstro

        You transparently hints

        That the customer will be tomorrow,

        A long standing custom -

        Stay at work

        And all nochyu play "Digger"

        And looking at you, the customer

        The deadline for transfer.


        If, suddenly, on your hard drive

        Leaked vicious virus

        Not Lechi his Lozinsky -

        The virus also wants to live!

        Septic Program

        Scattered on BiBieSkam,

        And you are your colleagues

        Will often recall.


        If your favorite teapot

        In tee deprived outlet

        So for this crime

        Should be severely punished.

        And unwavering hand

        Removed from the socket server

        To know everything,

        That it was time for tea.


        If suddenly your car

        Not working as it should,

        You're on your motherboard

        Strongly knock with his fist.

        Does not help - Bey sledgehammer

        Give his foot on the monitor ...

        Explain later authorities:

        "She first started!"


        If your keyboard

        Sinks down a couple key

        That means - you're a drummer

        In general, a hero of labor.

        Imperceptibly change

        With her ne'er-neighbor:

        Such keyboards

        Do not ever grow old!


        If your supervisor,

        Mistaken, argues

        That his machine virus

        And he entered you,

        Then, when he was away,

        Take out the hard drive,

        In a saucepan simmer,

        While the virus does not die.


        If your co-workers

        Gave a great prize,

        And you have completely forgotten about

        And did not admit,

        Instead, pour paint into the printer

        Strawberry jam -

        And about you in the Institution

        Do not forget ever!



          Aleksandr Majorov, 1996.



        If I were reading "nyusik"

        Gluck will see on the screen -

        You especially do not be scared

        On Reset is not pressed.

        It is better to see a hint

        Pressing boldly "Ashik" (h),

        And then this awful glitch

        Will simply be turned off.


        If clicking on the "Ashik,

        After reading about this earlier,

        Do not understand

        Why is there all and how -

        Push then on Reset,

        And cargo rather Bomber,

        In this prog all clear

        And without a "HELP" make out!


        If the user calls at night,

        Lifting you out of bed

        That unfortunate your phone

        You do not throw against the wall -

        Better user safely

        Send to three letters

        Explaining that to call something

        Can only be up to scratch!


        If you Zamesto code

        The "laugh" This verse is to recruit,

        This means - just to crack,

        And generally have that ...

        Push if you Reset,

        File on disk is not preserved,

        And not the Chief Editor

        Also to crack at the same time!


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