Aspect #06 10 февраля 1998

Юмор

Humor - Applied merfologiya.

 Today we publish the laws podolzhaem
Murphy.



       -= APPLIED MERFOLOGIYA =

   Booker Law: Even a small practice

       is a great theory.



   Laws Klipshteyna attached to machine
       neering:

 1. Permissible deviations will accumulate
   vatsya unidirectionally to cause

   most difficulties in the assembly.
 2. If the scheme requires n components, then

   stock will be n - 1.
 3. Motor spun in the wrong direction
   lenii.
 4. Assurance system nadezhnasti displays

   down other systems.
 5. The device is protected by a high-speed

   fuse, will be able to protect
   tit this fuse blows

   first.
 6. Error revealed only after the completion
   final inspection of the device.
 7. Once out of the enclosure will
   children vykruchen the last of the 16 bolts,

   find that shot is not the case.
 8. After casing fastened 16

   retaining bolts, it appears that

   forgot to put inside the washer.
 9. After assembly, installation on the workbench of
   naruzhatsya unnecessary details.



   Universal laws for young engineers
       irregularities, developed by the Committee on

       practical recommendations for international
       International Association of Engineers philosophy
       fof:

 1. Any error that can creep

   in any calculation, vkradetsya it.
 2. Any error in any calculation will be
   purposeful to inflict maximum harm.
 3. In any formula, constants (especially

   those taken from the technical validity
   vochnikov) should be regarded as

   variables.
 4. The most important dimension in any diagram

   or drawing is most likely to be

   missed.
 5. If the pilot plant runs Bezout
   koriznenno, all future would be unused
   flawless.
 6. Parts that are simply impossible to collect

   wrong, will still be collected Nep
   Correct.
 7. All terms of delivery obligations

   must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0.
 8. Expectations of new car buyers have

   multiplied by a factor of 0.25.
 9. Any device that requires adjustment and

   adjustments are usually not amenable to neither
   Therefore, either.
10. If the error in calculating the answers

   more than one person is not guilty

   find.
11. The same devices tested identical
   kovym way, will be in operation

   behave quite differently.



   Law Atwood. "Read out" only those

       books that you are particularly expensive
       are:



   Johnson's third law: Lost your

       issue contains exactly the

       article, story or novel excerpt,

       which you urgently wish other
       thief.


  Corollary: Do all of your friends but this measure or not, 
either it is lost or  discarded.




   Rules of the interdependence of Richard. Then

       that you store long enough,

       You can throw it away. Once you have that
       then throw away, you need it.



   Law of the plane: When your plane opaz
       embedded, the aircraft on which you xo
       Teli change seats, departs on time.



   The first law of cycling: independent
       independently wherever you go - it's uphill

       and against the wind!



   Law of Cat despair: Once

       cat stretched out and started to fall asleep

       on your knees, you urgently Pona
       has made to get up and go, say,

       in the bathroom.



   Observation Ettore: Neighboring turn

       always moves faster.



   Law Buba: Lost always find a

       last pocket.


                            (C) Arthur Bloch.

  Prepared for publication by Artur Podtelkov.