Polesse #02 05 февраля 1999

Юмор

Scribble brain - One day at school (continued).

                  Karakul BRAIN



             LITERARY AND ARTISTIC CONSTRUCTION

                    MEZHLOKALNAYA SMUGGLING



(C) KORPORATSIYA "Desert Time"



1. Rabid toy in the cerebral cortex
2. Infernatura thinner ...
3. Strange games in open space


                  LIVE but dreaming ... HELP.


   And I, too, a strange and funny arranged world. I go forth,
though, on the morning of the house, I saw - and the sky there.


                          DEPARTING - extinguish!


   On the morning of Klim Tired - wow man - priladil to 
fashionable lapel medal "For the liberation of the Arbat" and 
looked at the schedule. "Thursday. With 10 to 18 - out of 
maya." 

   Aga ... - Probormatal he - well, everything. Head in a hat. 
Come on. 

   And there was a continuous transfer of images through the 
eyes of brain, fierce gestures and chuzhye leather faces of 
passers-dwellers girl with eyes Rottweiler (in a dirty fist - 
Bone sunflower), kakieto flowers beleneyuschie ...


   'Treat of the flamethrower "- thought Tired and weary smile 
unsuspecting phone booth. 


             ... ME NOW YOUR EYES DO NOT wink


                   M And J K L M R E K C O H

           from the qualifier "Eskatologicheskie mutants"


                     Cigarette PRIMA Light


                        Poganaya Idyll


     You really must excuse me, for God's sake, but I - a 
policeman ... 


      Communism is when you do not have to wake up in the 
morning. 


       T Y P P O R U B & B on E H E L O V E H E S T B O


               The International Monetary feint (IMF)


       ... and the weather: a sunny, but neither of which is 
unclear. 


   Facts and Events:
Rabbits at midnight on the meadow grass smoked


   Dialogues:
-Where am I?
-In a hospital gown.


   Stories:

   (A narrow strip of red wine, withered babble candle.)

   -So, this stupid negro rubbed the lamp, and turned into a 
pale Greenland buttercup. And trembled in the frosty wind.


   (Outside of glasses hanging solution fall.)

   -You know I was thinking ...

   -Yes? That's good.

   With half an hour we were silent, lost in thought staring at 
each other. 

   -But you never know niggers! - Finally broke the silence 
Klim and Tired wearily waved my hand.



   Dialogues:
By the way, something mosquitoes can not hear ...
-Get drunk probably assholes, and sleep.


                       100 per minute! ...

                     (Mad cheers!)


                                         Text naglyuchil 
MONARCH. 



(C) THINKER
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                          There is a hypothesis that in a 
moment, when someone 

                       comprehend the true purpose of the 
Universe                        Noah and the reasons for its 
existence, it is not                        slowly disappear, 
and in its place has arisen                        there is 
something even more bizarre and inexplicable                    
    mine. There is another hypothesis that says, 

                       that this has happened.


   I have a very interesting knizhentsaya sufficiently cool
and original. It is called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the 
Galaxy" (Douglas Adams), some passages of which I wanted to 
convey-(about to be not to lose on the road ...) to you. If you 
like nonsense, it The following text will seem interesting.



   Everything began with the appearance of the universe.

   This event angered many people and was considered
public opinion, as a gaffe.

   Many civilizations believe that the universe did not appear 
very themselves, but by the will of a deity. However, the people

dzhatravartidov populating the planet Vitriol-6, believes that 
the entire Universe flew out of the nostrils being named the 
Great Green Apchhibuzdravy when this creature sneezed.


   From time immemorial dzhatravartidy live in terror of the so-
called "Coming of the White Handkerchief." What else about them
say? This small establishment a blue, each of which
has more than fifty hands. Because of this anatomical
features of their civilization became the only story that
invented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel.

   Despite this, the theory of "the Great Green 
Apchhibuzdraviya" has not been properly evaluated outside 
Vitriolya-6. A As the Universe - the place is very mysterious, 
the best minds are looking for other explanations.


   For example, a certain race sverhrazumnyh 
panprostranstvennyh beings who once created a gigantic 
supercomputer called shrill Intellektomat, which was to 
calculate the exact and a final answer to the Great Question of 
Life, the Universe and Total The rest.


   For seven and a half million years piercing Intellektomat 
perform calculations and estimates have not yet announced that 
the true answer - is forty-two, which entailed the need to 
create another, even more of a giant computer, which was 
supposed to pick up to answering the right question. 

   Well, this computer is called "Earth" was so great
that it is often mistaken for a planet. Especially persisted in 
this delusion peculiar apelike creatures that roamed over its 
surface, nor sleep nor the spirit of not knowing what is only 
part of a large-scale computer program. 

   Strange naivete - because without this simple and rather 
obvious fact that everything on earth seemed full absurdity, 
from which side do not look. 


  Intergalactic folklore about how to move the teleport:


             Auntie with the cat in the cabin went -

             Arcturus wanted to see it.

             For a long time people laughed at Arcturus

             Cat's head on a female figure.


             Little Tommy Vega had dreamed about.

             With his dog, he ran into the booth.

             Tail instead of the nose, mouth in a half-face
             No, I do not know mom Maltsev.


   And now, finally, I suggest you read the small
poem whose content alone embolden, and others,
may plunge into a state of profound depression.


                           To All.


                Pascal Windows'ov and Word'ov

                Not long uninhabited us deception

                Gone are all the tricks glitches

                Like a dream, like the morning mist

                But in our desire still burns

                Under the yoke of power rock

                Impatient soul

                We attend to the interruption of companies.

                We look languor upovanyya

                Minutes of Liberty St.,

                How awaits "the user" young

                Minutes of the faithful bye.


                Liberty until we burn,

                While the heart to honor alive

                Oh, my friend, Speccy devote

                Soul great gusts.

                Comrade, believe it will rise

                The captivating star of happiness,

                And a scene from a dream vspryanet

                And from the wreckage IBM'ov

                Write our names.


                          by Alexander Pushkin (in processing 
Thinker'a) 

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                      ONE DAY AT SCHOOL

                        (Continued)


(C) THINKER



                  TEST FIVE: DINING


   Here, unfortunately, I can not convey what is happening in 
the dining room at the time, as angry students attack the food. 
Therefore I propose to you a passage from the works of the 
famous writer who conveys everything that happens there ... 


                        ... table


                Monster sitting around;

                One of the horns of the dog-faced,

                Another with a fume head

                Here, a witch with a goat beard

                Here the skeleton (the skeleton), stiff and 
proud, 

                There's Karl with a tail, but

                Poluzhuravl and polukrot.


                Even more frightening, yet wonderful;

                That cancer is mounted on a spider

                Here's a skull on a goose neck

                Revolves in a red cap,

                That mill squatting dances

                And the wings pops and waves;

                Lai, laughter, singing, whistling and cotton,

                Gossip and horse-top!



                TEST SIX: LESSON OF BIOLOGY


   This subject is introduced specifically to ensure that-be to 
show all fragility of the human body. The teacher of biology, 
not only burns desire to make as much as possible all the more 
painful one she just did not sees and knows exactly how to do 
it. During lesson, we understand that can happen to us, all the 
while feeling someone's opinion, as it turned out - is the 
sight of a skeleton (apparently someone does not withstood the 
test). In the torture chamber biology all the time so many 
plants that predatory look back at the sides, apparently in 
search of victims. Naturally, these plants do not emit any 
oxygen, but rather absorb it, so it is possible to die of 
suffocation. Today, many taken with an oxygen mask, and this 
"lesson" was without incident.




                  TEST SEVEN: Lesson Cio


   Yes, yes, in Russian it stands for "Man and
Society, however, the context is clear and without any 
explanation. Do lecturer of the subject, obviously had some 
personal problems in childhood, in addition, he suffers from 
some defects of speech that makes a special piquancy in 
conducting this lesson. disassembled that-there he mumbles, is 
virtually impossible for Moreover, as some people think, he was 
foaming at the mouth trying to attract attention, but it 
naturally he can not. In a fit of rage he tries to break table 
handle, but it is still a He also does not leave. In general, 
the call usually rings before how we manage to understand 
something he wants from us. 



               TEST OF EIGHT: gym class


   Immediately it becomes clear that fizruk - the most, that 
neither is sadist. This test is, in essence, consists of two. 
One thing - dressing, another - directly involved in the gym. 
Cloakroom: see the first test (with only one difference that 
was not need to keep outer garments and must change into a 
tracksuit). The gym like a walk prisoners. Thunderous voice 
that compels us to do a sadist is that the bones crunch as the 
floorboards under my feet. Basketball balls resemble the cast 
from lead cannonballs. In short, to describe all the "charm" is 
impossible, and makes no sense. 


   And then, finally, came the long-awaited moment when we all
(Almost) can escape from this hell. Of course, we still have a 
locker room, but it does not matter, because it is already 

                            VICTORY!