RIP #10 12 сентября 1998

Юмор

Marazm - One day.

(C) Werewolves

This story I wrote just for myself. No relation to the Speccy 
it does not! (Ars: But still, if someone wants I think be able 
to learn some details of Mike Blum'a :)))). 

                       It's just

                           One day ...

 In the window flashed someone's bare feet.
 - Hm-mmm ... Second floor - I quickly looked down. Some
family shorts guy madly looking around, sitting in a flower
flowerbed Glafira Vasilevny. The ceiling of my room shook as in
fit. Could be heard shouting, the clatter, clatter of dishes 
and loud: "Bitch bleduschaya !!!".

 - Elvira again forgot that her husband returned on Fridays - I 
guessed and I felt ridiculous. Leaning over the edge of the box 
I loudly shouted: "Elvira, Lose Pants man, and that the 
district is ..."  Judging by the sounds of bullfighting me, 
Elvira did not hear it. But this guy heard. Crushing 
chrysanthemums and marigolds Glafira Vasilevny, he ran toward 
the barn, tossing a high bare heels black earth.

 - Where does this button do? - I am with pain in my heart 
looked at raskurezhenuyu keyboard - How many times myself to 
say: it does not dubas Woldemar. But as there uderzhishsya when 
this reptile utyanul Last burger ...

 Slowly, as if from afar, was born ugly, cat's howl.
 - About the scum will remember it and ... - I leaned out the 
window and that Urine was bellowed:

 - Waldemar! Voldema-aaaar! Again, poskuda, yelling in the 
street ! What are you bursting in the morning? Bastard 
emasculation, shut up! - At the "Shut up" silent even at the 
top. Typing still air I barked a strange message:

 - Once again, I hear - I will take a belt!
 Bullfighting understood that the belt is clearly intended not 
for them and resoundingly defeated something else, continued 
dismantling ...  Waldemar openly yawned, slowly walked around 
the trash and gravely stared at the inscription: "taken away in 
22. 00." God knows what is taken to 22. 00 (anything you like, 
but not garbage). But the tricky beast pretends that she knows 
for certain that this is busily glanced at the wall clock.  - 
Creation of disgust - I chuckled, and already the twentieth 
time, looked under the sofa. Dust and torn Voldemar pieces of 
wallpaper, to conceal anything. Grimace of disgust, I ran into 
this bunch of hand. To the great joy I felt something ...  - 
Yeah, that's the button ... What is it?  Slowly from the heels, 
rushed to the back wave of revulsion. Going out through the 
ears it by following the laws of physics, condensed in a cold 
fury ...  - Waldemar! - I bellowed to the best of my young, not

Bad nicotine lungs. The roof collapsed a few shingles,
shed wino Methodius did roll another 180 degrees to the ground,
Elvira's husband cry was drowned out: "I love you for ...". 
What happens for these "FOR" baldeyuschie of family scandals 
neighbors did not know ...  - It's some crud obgadila me 
button?!  Those present were to break out obscenities 
Methodius, for some reason scared and hid back in the barn.

 - Come here, nasty brat. I said, come here!
 Knowing that if you do not come at once - then it will be 
worse, Waldemar, small tail twitching and clutching his ears, 
walked into the room.  - That's What! - I began to poke into 
the nose button cat - You my eyes look, asshole! I said in my 
eyes! Explain to me Why do you put in a toilet box from under 
the shoe polish? No You answer me, what for? What would you 
have me here on the buttons shit! No, probably not for this. A? 
What do you think? For this?  Waldemar making a serious face, 
meowed mournfully. This unexpected response to my questions and 
meow, more like belching, unwittingly bring a smile.

 Feeling that all the steam out of me came out, Waldemar asked 
heels, habitually cowered away from flying after sneaker.  - 
Where to run? " Wait, nit! - For a laugh, I yelled at dogonku 
... 

 Trying soskrebsti crap on the button, I heard a loud female
cry: "The tyrant, the owner of the damned!".
 Directly under the window, verescha rage, with a black eye, was
Elvira and sent four of his curse, this year, her husband.
 Skip this scene I could not look out the window I painted
zaspanoe enthusiastic person and yelled:
 - Elvira! Hello my child. What has happened? Directly from
am shouting ... Drunk guy again said? Ay-yay-yay. And what
eye? Makeup smeared? Why are you such a dirty trick are using 
... From this motherfucker is not only cosmetic, no good there 
at night? (Two of the pot with a flower neatly fall near the 
feet of wailing Elvira) ... Yes ... Now I see what he heck ...  
Following the pots heard the tramp of her husband, cascading 
down the stairs.  - Elvira, my child, something I podskazyvet 
what you need quickly ...  Warning has not been born until the 
end, interrupted the advent of her husband with a strap in his 
hand.  Elvira uttering heart-rending, not a girl's scream, she 
ran across the street, vihlyaya the women's hips and swinging 
in different directions imposing on the size of the breast (the 
subject of considerable popularity, in all the surrounding 
areas and even beyond). After her, leaving behind her husband 
Elvira and causing laughter across the street, came entirely 
ohrenevshy Waldemar, as fears the fire of one kind of belt.

 Laughing at me even cramped stomach. Sat down under the 
windowsill, I began wipe the tears. Appeared in the doorway, 
covered in dust, intimidation Waldemar, caused a new explosion 
of laughter. Offended by the cat jumped on the rack, and all 
kind of showing his contempt, set to wash his hair ispachkanoy 
... 

 - Aha, this must be part of obgazhenoy paste - I became 
impatient and banged his fist in a fit on the button ... Three 
more jumped to the side ...

 - U-UUU-UUU-yo! Not intermeddle. Waldemar, come here, you 
gavnyuk such. Did you gadil not looked where she had the upper 
hand, and where the roof?  - Bastard, but not a cat - I swear, 
looking at the stupid face Woldemar.  Loud song of the road, 
will not know what kind of security officer was the end, forced 
to postpone the keyboard aside and look out window.

 - Hello Markovich! - Old, but very good Jew Markovic, 
staggered bore myself and a bottle of vodka in the direction of 
the barn Methodius. To my greeting, he immediately made a sad 
face and gently thanked for the fact that at least someone 
still wishes him health, not that some ("some" lived right 
downstairs, and me were wife Markovic Glafira Vasilyevna).

 - How are you? - I went on a poll, feeling old, good
catch eyes - so bad? It seems too bad, once you are with vodka, 
and even in utryani ...  Markovic wiped The tears and loud 
sobs, reported the sudden death of his wife, Glafira Vasilevny 
...  Since I can remember, this weeping old man's voice has 
always evoked pity for the deceased wife of the old, crafty Jew 
...  - It can not be! - Depicting the anguish on his face, I 
zaohal - This morning? No, I believe ... Readily believe ... 
And my condolences ... Hence died.  This is followed by a 
minute or two phrases on either side of the type: "This as 
...", "God gave and God took away ..."," And yet still could 
live to ...", "Yeah ..."," These are the brother of the case 
...". Ochi and Ahi gradually fade away and begins a painful 
silence. summoned the courage, Markovic finally begin to brass 
tacks, in fact why He started all this ...

 - Ay-yay-yay - it spurred me Markovic already knowing what he 
was ... - Wreaths to buy? And how! Yes, yes ... Must ... When 
pominiki say ... Tomorrow? Come ... Be sure to come ... No. .. 
No, Markovic, a wreath, I'll buy myself too ... Yes there is a 
burden ... Do you grief, you get ready, and I ...  Seeing my 
"zeal" to purchase a separate ritual wreath Markovic deduct 
head and offers to wait (the hell he surrendered wreaths if 
Glafira twice already passed on the background).  - So still 
further to report? Well ... Well, that is true, Suddenly she is 
still alive, thirty-four times revived. Suddenly, and now ... 
Tell, I'll wait ... No, Markovic, and suddenly do not need? Why 
should money be wasted in vain .. You will not be wasted? No 
doubt! Of course, in complete safety, but I already own .. 
Yeah, I will wait.

 The latest attempt to tear off the money for "wreath" Falling 
Markovic, mournfully sighing and showing all kind of like I did 
not meet he hopes, went to Methodius.

 Laugh at crafty I could not ...
 - Waldemar! Freak out, go here. You've got that, not content? 
I thought you just click obgadil ... Who's in my sneakers 
nableval? - I began to rub his leg with a rag. Spiteful 
creature, apparently in revenge, chose a place to clean your 
stomach is not a good thing - sneakers. Feeling when I put the 
leg back - not because of nice ...

 - You do what you think? Where are your fucking brain? - I fell
yell at sitting high on a closet, the cat. Waldemar pretending
that he is not concerned, began to lick himself in the most 
remote places ...  - Yes, yes! It was there! It was in that 
place which you are so unabashedly right now lick, is your mind 
- I yelled, but at the same time thinking: "Why is not contrary 
to the cat licking itself ass? I would definitely have 
obblevalsya ... Just do not need him this say ... "- mentally I 
smiled.  Under the window, once again, he heard wailing and 
moaning, on about raskurechenoy beds ...

 - Glafira V.! With the resurrection of you!
 I hastened to say hello.
 - How is it with what?! Markovic in the morning for you to buy 
a wreath. Now surely grave prepares ... Yes, someone else? 
Your! Well over what do you got me so? I'm the same with a pure 
heart ... Yes! We drank! Markovic bear ... Yeah ... And I even 
was drinking kefir. So after drinking kerosene! Yes .. Yes! 
Alcoholics we are! Poutryani and kerosene ... So after all of 
yours, if you will, health ...  Unable to withstand the 
mockery, Glafira, not an old man swearing, became slowly 
removed ...  - Goodbye Glafira V. .. Yeah ... Must ... And 
Markovic ... And I survive ... And my cat aspiring ... And my 
canaries survive? And Elvira ...  Choking with laughter, I 
returned to the soldering iron ...  - Waldemar! Bastard! Stop 
chewing the wire, if you talk are crap, so at least take pity 
on the lamp. Short circuit - will warm your gray gas near the 
noodle ...  Staring finally obgazhenuyu click into place, I 
found two more in the box from under the shoe polish and one 
("Y") robbed Woldemar ... 

 This story is written immediately after returning the keyboard 
working condition. Lightly scented cat shit fingers drive me 
crazy, so I stop this mess and go wash hands ...


Ars> But aiwan also had to do something similar with GS'om