Maximum #34 24 марта 1997

Юмор

solid jokes - 18 anedotov. Announcement - What will happen in the next issue.

            SOLID FUN


 (C) UNKNOWN
 (R) KOLOVRAT


              PREFACE.

              Dear Reader!


   Universal computerization of native spaces and domestic 
vesey led to an unprecedented upliftment of Soviet man - 
Eternal Builder brighter future. Now, after the overthrow of 
neofeodalizma bogey, the whole country with joy and enthusiasm 
unprecedented peers into the looming paralysis of the global 
economy. "They do not feed us!" - Happily vosklikayut 
pessimists. And this, Comrades, is correct. On this fertile 
soil full flower bloom representatives of the world's 
kitsch-Mitki-wing pro-Western orientation. 


   Do not miss! Pay attention to the depth of expression,
which permeated these plain, at first glance, the plots!
How much light in them and the inner beauty! A favorite saying
Comrade 'command coma, one of the main characters in the cycle:
"Duc, shell cheap!". What a mastery of the native speech, what 
an amazing degree of organic fusion of folklore, fantastic 
places, from the purely technical information. 


   That is why the editorial welcomes the emergence of a new 
genre domestic fiction, and wishing to pass for a connoisseur 
of such circles (Sometimes called, in English, although it is 
not entirely true) humor provides its product page, "The 
Parable of the computer residents. "


                  *


   When Digger broke both his legs, he began to move around on 
wheels. 

                  *


   - Corrected Comrade Command Com - Digger said, considering a 
passing comrade coma. 

   - At 2.7 pounds - has identified the commander of Norton.

   - So what song we will sing today, Norton? - Asked
Digger.

   - Duc - Norton said the commander, - Yankee Doodle.

                  *


   Comrade Command Com lived on a floppy disk system and led a 
disorderly life, why, and he suffered. Bitten, he went to the 
doctor Aidstetstu. Planted a doctor friend Aidstest coma in a 
high chair, took him by the jaw:


   - And now - he says - tell me: "Format ah-ah-ah-ah:".

                  *


   - Do you think that Norton, who we'll be in my next life? -
so ask Digger Norton Commander.

   - Duc, - said the commander of Norton, pressing 
Control-AltDel ... 

                  *


   - Do not you remember you first version of DOS, comrade 
whom? - Asked fellow Digger 'command of Com. 

   - No, - he cried - just a song from her left - and he sang:
"Operating system, DOS, Ver. Doce, and my grandmother is 
healthy ..." 

                  *


   Sit as a Digger, Norton Commander and comrade Command Com, 
and going by his father Vyndouz. "Sit down, - he says. - Well, 
well. Soon all 'll sit beneath me. "No one so he did not reply.


   One comrade Command Com spat and cursed dirty. "Come, come, 
- he said - the shell is cheap." 

                  *


   Once asked fellow Digger 'command coma: "Why did you
Comrade Command Combe, the father Vyndouza do not like? "." 
Mice from He stinks, he answered quickly, but, on reflection, 
added, - the shell from the cheap ". 

                  *


   "Gentlemen, - said the commander of the Norton Commando 
Digger and someone whom - yesterday was a great Russification. 
Ordered to all give Russian names. "They began to think. Well, 
Norton commander immediately called Lieutenant North, so Digger 
Digger and left. And here is someone whom no Russian Commando 
name is not liked. I wanted to name him Ivan Komovi, but angry 
He: "Shells - screams - cheap! mice kindled!". 

                  *


   - Where the money matters? - Rudely asked Norton Commander 
Digger. 

   - Duc, ate ...

                  *


   All day, Comrade Command Com went enlightened. A met
sad father Vyndouza even asked sympathetically:

   - Or what happened, sir?

   - All the icons were stolen, - the father said Vyndouz and 
wept. 

   - Oh, they are heathen, - happily sympathetic comrade Command
Com - Oh, they shell cheap!

   And his mustache fun moving.

                  *


   Only met Digger, Comrade Command and commander of Combe 
Norton beer to drink, as the window to knock him. 

   - There isn't enouth room! - Shouted the commander of 
Norton, seeing window hated puppet father Vyndouza.


                  *


   (From the biography of the great traveler's companion 
'command Coma)


   He went as a companion Command Com in Africa, and there he 
was bitten Format fly Tse-Tse.


                  *


   - It is true that Ventura had given herself to his father 
Vyndouzu? - Asked Norton Commander Comrade 'command of Com. 

   - Duc, - he answered - Publisher Publisher it is.

                  *


   (From the Life of silicon addicts.)

   - Bad, Norton?

   - Tusknyak, Comrade Command Com.

   - Come to the diggers. It even has wheels.

                  *


   Went as a Gold Digger to steal, but fell asleep.

                  *


   When the commander of Norton left alone, he fell ill star
disease.

              **************


   About zverushek:



   Bat slapped the wall with all his lies on the floor at 
skirting and moans: "Damn, I have with this player when ubyus 
something ... " 

              **************


   How about three hippo decided to talk about women. One says,
he likes thick begemotihi, because they strengthen easier. 
Another said he loves to lean, to be able to embrace. A third 
listening, listening, and says: "And I, brothers, monkey love" 

   -??

   - I pin, I had finished, they burst.

              **************