Sky Net #05 08 октября 1996

Юмор

Jokes - the best anecdote of the week.

              9.Anekdoty



              Dron 'Nick


    Especially for the newspaper SKY NET

      represent a new heading

            A N E K O R T S


Attention! BBS Dron 'Nick obyavlyaet
competition for the best anecdote of the week, ie
you send us your jokes on the model
DeMouy and at the end of the week the funniest and
original will be published in the gas
those SKY NET, plus the winner will be
citizen of one of the latest programs.

 tel. Our BBS 53-40-43
 in server mode, the password is 'DRON'
 time:
 pon.sr.pyat. 07:30-14:00
 vt.chet. 09:00-14:00
 in manual mode:
 at any other time of 23:00.



                "He laughs best who

                   laughs like a horse. "


                           Przewalski.

Issue 1.


   Today we bring to your attention
a few jokes on different topics. From
You also need to evaluate these anecdotes on
five-point scale (well, just like in school)
and the results to a text file (any
text editor ZX-SPECTRUM) to send to us. It is necessary to 
ensure that we know on what topic should be

prepare stories for the next release. And besides, the most 
enterprising reader will be cremated bother rewarded. Ah, yes. 
I forgot to say that assessment should be made jokes

as follows:
 1-3,2-5,3-4, etc. where the first digit is

                    number of anecdotes or

                    articles, and the second -

                    score.


   And do not forget to specify the issue number in
where you read our stories, write your anecdote and, finally, 
to indicate your contact information (phone, name) Phew, phew. 
Finally I finished this scribbling, well Now let's actually the 
case. 

1. - Vano, are you asleep?

   - I sleep ..

   - And what I have in the pope Shchekotov?

   - Wai! Now blame.

   - I tebe blame! Sleep, come on!

2.Gosti. Feast. Little boy watching television
  visor, and suddenly a loud says:

   - Wow, what a ass!

  Mum in confusion:

  - Fyodor no such word!

  He thoughtfully:

  - How is it, asshole is, and the word-no.

3. The vampire comes into the bar.

  Barmen:

   - Are you as always - a glass krovushki?

  Vampire epics menstrual tampon and

  throws it in a glass:

   - No, I will spoil some tea ...

4. The pig comes to a Goose:

  - Gus, you're so wise, tell me what

    left leg cheshitsya?

  - From someone going to run away.

  - Gus, but what right foot itches?

  - Someone will catch you.

  - Gus, and what your ears itch?

  - Somebody will beat you.

  - And what's snout cheshitsya?

  - Pig, you would pomylas!

5. The church phone is ringing:

  - Hello, sir, is the city committee of the call.

    We have a meeting should be, and chairs
    s not enough .. Came a dozen.

  - Figure you, not chairs! Last time

    gave the bench, so you have them all Pokhabov
    thick fuck up.

  - Ah, 'dog to you, not chairs? Then

    FIGS you pioneers in the church choir!

  - Oh, you are pioneers in FIG church

    Choir? Then FIG your monks on the sub
    contingent employees!

  - Ah, 'dog you monks on Saturday?

    Then FIG Komsomol you to the cross
    LIMITED move!

  - Ah, 'dog you Komsomol at the cross
    LIMITED course? Then you FIGS nuns in

    Finnish sauna!

  - AX, you are right! For such words, my dear,

    and membership card can be put on the table!


             Children's Corner.


          Manuals

          for toddlers.

          Version Dron 'Nick

               for you!

Exercise 1. The lady looks in the office

              therapist:

  - Excuse me, Doctor, it's not you I left my bra?

  - No, not me.

  - Excuse me, therefore, have an ophthalmologist.

1.Skazhi that left a woman with a doctor?
2.K what doctor came to the lady?
3.Zachem lady came to see a doctor?

Exercise 2. Giraffe looks with pity

               by hippo:

  - How do you hippos, live with no neck?

  - And why is it us?

  - Well, of course! Drink, for example, vodka, and
it slowly so nice runs on
throat ....

   - Well, leaked. A barf-a
then what?

1. Tell friend how his neck prefer
you are long or short, and why?
2.Narisuy giraffe and hippo.

Exercise 3. A man tries to rape
              vat woman. A woman calls for help. Runs policeman:

   - A citizen of your documents?
Man gets red knizhechku.Militsioner carefully studied her, 
turns to woman:


   - Citizeness, immediately discontinue
Resistance!

1.Skazhi, my friend, is trying to do
man?
2.Pochemu woman calls for help?
3.Zachem militiaman attentively studies
booklet?
4.Kem you would like to become in the future?

Exercise 4 .- My dear, you love me?

             - And what I'm doing for your?

1.Skazhi friend that is doing my dear?
2.What would you do in his place?


     Well, perhaps and that's enough for a first
raza.S look forward to your responses to
questions 'tool kit', as well as
interesting cases from your life and
around you.


                      06.10.96 DRON'NICK

    Very truly yours,

                     SAILOR


      GOOD-BYE AND I AM SORRY!