Humor - jokes.

ZX Zone #02
Are you ready? Let's go: The wife accompanies her husband to the sanatorium and says: - I beg you, do not waste money on things you can to have a home for nothing. *** Phone: - Masha, will you give it to me? - I'll give it to you, but who's talking? *** - Josephine! Now get off your fiance's lap! - Well, no, mommy! Today I managed to get here earlier you! *** The hostess barely had time to put on a robe before entering the room. a servant entered. - Louis! Why don't you knock? What if I'm naked? “Don’t worry, madam,” the servant reassured her, “before when entering, I always look through the keyhole. *** Katsey and Baba Yaga meet. -Where are you going, old woman? - asks Grandma Katsey. - To the north, to the polar garrison. - Why in such a cold? - Yes, I’m tired of being a girl. Let me marry an officer, I think. - Who will take you? - Don't tell me, don't tell me. Here I am Baba Yaga, and there I am Vasilisa Beautiful. *** One day the teacher brought a brick to class and asked children: - Children, what do you think when looking at a brick? Helen: - About the great successes of Soviet builders. Zhenechka: - About the prospects for perestroika. Vovochka: - And I’m talking about women. - Vovochka, but why? - asks the teacher. - And I always think about them. *** The girl's father asks the groom: - Do you play cards? Do you drink? Do you smoke? Dragging after women by us? - No.- Then no wedding. I don’t want my wife to constantly I used you as an example. *** Two friends are talking: - Natasha, dear, you graduated from school with a gold medal, was an excellent student at the institute!... How did you become a currency pro- a prostitute? - Oh, I don’t know myself... Probably just lucky!.. *** The wife is going to the resort: - Darling, what should I bring you? - Whatever you want, now everyone is being treated. ***Armenian Radio was asked: - What can the most beautiful woman in Paris give? - She cannot give more than what she can give. *** - If you’re going to get married, then take a beautiful woman and an excellent cook! - But this is bigamy! *** The wife asks her husband: - Why does our cow have such sad eyes? Did you notice? - I would look at you if you were milked three times a day - maybe, but once a year they took me to the bull... *** Can't studyhaving sex in public - they will torture you with advice. *** Two old men met. - Well, how are you living? - According to Karpov: e-two. And you? - Like a watermelon - the belly grows, but the tip dries out. *** then be continued ...

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