Jokes from the 1992 Calendar

For a Laugh

Oh yes, yes, surely everyone will agree that sometimes you need a break from the grey routine and a chance to devote yourself entirely to having fun. To make that easier for you, we decided to put together this section (they decided, and I have to write it — Lysy).

All right, enough formalities. In this issue you can laugh at a selection of jokes and anecdotes I picked out (the more interesting ones, I think) from Kalendarz radosny, published for 1992 by the recently established publishing house EUROPA.

Lysy

— Open up, darling...
— I can't, Zbysiu, I'm not dressed...
— That's all right, I'm alone.
— But I'm not...

— How is your husband feeling?
— Thank you, he's fine. They X-rayed his head, but fortunately they didn't find anything.

— What can I get you? — asks the pharmacist.
— Excuse me, I need rat poison. It's urgent.
— Do you have a prescription?
— No.
— What do you need it for?
— My mother-in-law.
— For your mother-in-law, or for mice? — the pharmacist laughs. — You need a prescription.
— Would a photograph be enough?

— Son, don't play with the hammer. You'll hit your finger and it'll hurt.
— It won't hurt. Zosia is holding the nail.

— Hello, Professor. My son can't come to school today.
— Who's speaking?
— My father.

— Dad, that gentleman is bowing you.
— Not “you”; “to you.”
— Not “to me”; “me”!
— I'm telling you, “you”!

— Would you like your coffee with cream or without?
— Are you mad?! What would I do with a “without”?!

— Marek, look at that girl!
— Three children...
— She already has three children?!
— Not her—you...

— Did the witness see the incident? — asks the judge presiding over the rape trial.
— No, Your Honour. When I looked over there, the accused had already put the incident away.

And that's about it. Now you can carry on reading the magazine, feeling rested and relaxed.

Lysy

Pokes & Cheats

MIDNIGHT RESISTANCE — 36480,0