Laughter in a glass - aphorisms, stories, anecdotes.

                     ··· LAUGHTER IN A GLASS ···
 


                        
                         HIGHER WISDOM
 
  1) NOTHING WILL HAPPEN EVER.
     THERE WILL ALWAYS BE EVERYTHING.

  2) TRY TO BE EVERYWHERE MORE OFTEN.
   
  3) WHEN SOMETHING APPEARS, IT ALWAYS INTERFERES SOMEONE. 
  
  4) WHEN SOMETHING STOPS, SOMEONE ALWAYS NEEDS, 
     SO THAT THIS CONTINUES.
                           
                             JOKES 
                
  CHILDREN'S PERSON

  EVERYTHING NEW IS WELL FORGOTTEN OLD.

  A NEW THOUGHT THAT STILL SMELLS OF MOTHTHALEN

  FRESH FROZEN STUPIDITY
  
  "IT CONTAINS 
  GLUCOSE, FRUCTOSE, SUCHAROSE 
  AND BULL-ROGAZA. "

  "I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH MYSELF.
  I JUST LIKE IT. "

  PANTS RUBBED WITH SUGAR 

  DRESS FROM "BOLSHEVICHKA"
  
  CASE.
  ONE BOY MARRIED AN OLD WOMAN.
  AND WHEN HE DIED, SHE WENT TO HIS ENTIRE STATE.

  CHILDREN ARE THE FLOWERS OF LIFE. THE BERRIES WILL BE AHEAD.

  "IF YOUTH KNEW, THEN 
                                  IN AN OLD AGE I COULD..."

  "I DO THIS OUT OF NOTHING TO DO."

  1ST SECRETARY OF BLINKOM 
 
  "LIKE A FREE BIRD A FIG FLOWED OUT OF YOUR POCKET"

  "EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE WAS STOLEN, AND EVEN 
    THE AIR IS SOME STAMPY" 
  


                        TALKERS 


  
  “YOU HAVE BEEN BLOWN TOGETHER!...” - SIDOR RECORDED MARFA,
  WHICH AN ARTILLERY SHELL HIT.

  “I WORK WORK FROM MORNING TILL EVENING!” - THE DRUG ADDICATOR COMPLAINED 
 
  "I'M GOING AWAY!" - APPENDIX SAYS CONSISTENTLY

  “GET OUT!” - THE STUDENT GURNKLED TO THE EXAMINER 

  “DON’T YOU SEE - I’M BUSY!” - THE TOILET SAID arrogantly 



                       MAN AND WOMAN  


  “YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT A MATCH FOR YOU,” THE MAN TOLD THE MARRIED 
  WOMAN.
  THEY TURNED AWAY.
  “HE IS STUPID AND LAZY,” THE MAN CONTINUED.
  THE WOMAN POUTED HIS LIPS OFFENSIVELY.
  “YOUR HUSBAND IS AN UNFAITHFUL SPOUSE,” HE INSISTED.
  THE WOMAN WAS CRYING.
  THEN THE MAN OFFERED HIS HIS ARM AND HEART TO HER.
  THE WOMAN AGREED.
  MORAL: WHEN CRITICIZING, SUGGEST!       



                        USEFUL TIPS
                     
  DO NOT HURRY TO THROW AWAY YOUR OLD RUSTY AND METAL MATTRESS 
  BEDS. THROW IT OUT SLOWLY, GOODLY.

  OIL PAINT STAINS WILL NOT BE AS VISIBLE ON YOUR CLOTHES, 
  IF YOU NEVER WEAR IT AGAIN.

  SO THAT WHEN YOU GO ON A BUSINESS TRIP OR VACATION, DO NOT FLOWERS ON THE WINDOW
  ITS STILL, OPEN ALL THE TAPS IN THE BATHROOM AND KITCHEN, PRE-
  PLUGGING THE SINK TIGHTLY. THEN TO YOUR RETURN 
  YOUR GREEN FRIENDS WILL BE WAITING - FROM ALL THE LOWER FLOORS.IF YOUR CLOSET, HANGED WITH OUTER CLOTHES, HAS BEEN CRAZY, 
  TRY HIDING IN ANOTHER PLACE.

  TO PREPARE KULEBYAKA FROM YEAST DOUGH, TAKE 
  100 G FLOUR, 5 G YEAST, 1 GLASS OF MILK, 2 EGG YOLKS,
  A TEASPOON OF SALT, A TABLESPOON OF SUGAR - AND EAT IT ALL
  ALTERNATING CAREFULLY. IN AN HOUR THE KULEBYAKA WILL BE READY.
  

                 E S L I V H O T I T E ,
   WHAT HAS LIFE PASSED,
                       CH I T A Y T E 
                USEFUL TIPS!