Operating instructions.
WOODPECKER.
The woodpecker is equipped with a beak. The woodpecker's beak is
zen. He's hammering. If the woodpecker doesn't chime, then
he is sleeping or dead. It’s not possible for a woodpecker not to chisel
zhet. Because the beak always outweighs.
When a woodpecker chimes, it makes a sound in the forest.
If it’s loud, it means the woodpecker is good.
If it’s not loud - bad, defective, worthless -
woodpecker
A woodpecker can jump from branch to branch like this
as deftly as a sailor from the topsail to the bowsprit
A skillfully thrown woodpecker flies at least 30
meters, stuck to the waist and hanging for two hours
The woodpecker's opinion is always negative. Strong
A great woodpecker can chisel for two. Gi-
Gantian woodpecker (not found in nature)
can kill a small elephant.
Synchronized woodpeckers are found only in Australia
li and work in pairs, links, etc.,
up to the regiment. Woodpeckers birthday -
Friday. The dose tolerated by the woodpecker is 2S0 de-
cibel, either 40 roentgens, or 1S0 volts,
or 4 kicks.
It is impossible to drown a woodpecker in a liter jar.
Male woodpecker made of reinforced concrete
at a scale of 32:1, is the best memory
nickname to father-in-law. 2S0 woodpeckers glued end to end
in the form of a continuous panel, represent
a luxurious spectacle.
The Spanish temple woodpecker is one
the world's most important chewing bird, and his
ka, according to legend, is capable of sticking out
Xia fromthree-quarters hollow. Living giver
differs from usual in temperature and ra-
botability. Subterranean woodpeckers hammer in
complete darkness, with eyes closed in pa-
remember Their ancestors were those who fell into the well
killed woodpeckers.
There is no separate species of rabid woodpeckers
exists, but the number of them varies
population fight - 77%. Pink singing woodpecker
like its dancing variety, we meet
occur mainly in places where alcohol accumulates
Golikov.
Almost all urban woodpeckers are disposable, with
plastic beaks 9x12 and variable
wing geometry. Industrial pneumatic
The helical woodpecker still causes controversy among
di ornithologists. In particular, it is exposed
doubt its ability to reproduce
styu, although in Kuzbass the so-called "from-
woodpeckers" live in huge numbers
on all trees and even used by civilians
Danish rights along with populace speaking
gayami.
The main food of woodpeckers of all species is
spittle-soaked piece of wood.
Cases of woodpecker attacks on
bags of sugar and fruit pies. Friend
Woodpeckers, as a rule, disdain each other. Cases
conflicts between woodpeckers and people are rare, but in
The Volga region should be wary of crown
woodpecker, whose victims are elderly
wicked people who disdain the Panama hat. Sco-
The flight speed of such a woodpecker is 240 m/s. He
pointed at the sunshine, don't be afraid
screams and always gets the job done.
The complete opposite of him - serene
downy woodpecker, which usually lives in
groves of lilies of the valley and forget-me-nots. He is essentially
ty, is not a bird, since it conducts
sitting all his life, which is why his wings
fused to form a coat, and the beak has
only the bottom half. Feeds on
by giving.
I did not observe a pronounced hierarchy among woodpeckers.
given, although a large woodpecker can easily
beat up the little one. In case of external threat
a colony of woodpeckers in a way that has not yet been studied
distinguishes himself as a boss (usually a mayo-
ra) and defends itself under his leadership.
After repelling the threat, such a woodpecker became
turns like a pelican and leaves the colony.
The period of full maturity of a woodpecker is
egg - two weeks from the moment it hits the floor
hollow A small woodpecker sits and quietly eats
whatever is served to him. The main mistake is
fishing - intra-hole overfeeding, due to which
many die, those who were unable to choose
birds scramble outside.
A tame woodpecker is as rare a phenomenon as
like the foot one, since you can tame a woodpecker
but only three now forgotten ancient
words. The domestic woodpecker is kept wrapped
tum into soft footcloth material and be-
does not wake up if handled carefully.
In ancient times in Rus', woodpeckers served as princes.
women's baths with walking clothes hangers,
crushed and pickledwoodpeckers decorated any
feast, and the rare beauty of the two-eyed
the old woodpecker served as the prototype of the current one
Russian coat of arms. And one last thing. If on
at some carnival you will dress up as a woodpecker
then fame, success and great success await you
cha in love.
SEVEN REASONS
to get out of the binge,
or what Socrates said about this.
REASON 1: Everyday. "You sit down early -
You'll leave early." As they say, a hangover -
the thing is thin. You'll have to live through it like this
or otherwise, and the sooner the better -
go!
REASON 2: Philosophical. "Everything, even good-
neck, ever ends." And don't try-
If you try to go against this principle, it’s harmful!
REASON 3: Happy. Remember if this
this is still possible, for what reason?
Why did the binge start? Perhaps you
They reported that your wife gave birth? Then
quickly return the bottles, buy
flowers and oranges - and to the maternity hospital for the baby...
REASON 4: Financial. The day is over -
gi. This means it's time, it's time to stop the non-
belt binge. Never, not for any day -
gi don't take on debt. Na shru - sacredcase.
REASON S: Housing. Empty bottles already
do not fit in the apartment. Try to
fight to the front door, whatever it is for you
it was worth it, and start handing over the containers. Remember-
those: if the bottles do not give up, it means they were destroyed
ut.
REASON 6: Deadly. Drinking is harmful.
Drinking a lot is harmful... Infinitely
drinking is infinitely harmful. This is of course not
Let's drink honey!
REASON 7: Socratic. Great thought-
Tel once said: “It’s better to be courageous
to die (coming out of a binge) than to live in
dawn (that is, in a drinking binge). If everything is pre-
The given reasons did not convince you, then think about it:
you are a Man! And nothing human is for you
alien...
NEW CTPEMHOE GOSPEL
New Russian Testament.
Vovan killed Tolyan. Stepan killed Vovan. A
Stepan was killed by Kolyan, who shot Yura
na, Vityan and another Corifan. Kolyana
they killed Mishan and Zheka, who after
buried alive Sema-Kozyr, from the "suns-
". In turn, Sema was killed by Pakha-
Great snipe, Pakhe released the intestines of Lech-Gop. Lehu
killed Andryukha-Smyk, and Andryukha was decided
by mistake of the sidekick right on the arrow. Such
affairs. So, from Tolyanbefore Kolyan it could have been
14 volumes of criminal cases. And from Mishani to Pa-
Hi-Snipela - 14. And from Lehi-Gop - 14 more.
It could very well be. Well, where are they all?
in kind?!..
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Selling a right-hand drive bike
Urgently selling Bust of Galter
I'll exchange a winter boomerang for a sintapon [Yaku-
tiya] for the European summer version. Vyki-
breathe I guarantee
I'll buy scrap gold. I find it most convenient
way for you. Janitor Uncle Misha
I'll make a phone call for a fee
A new car in "ripe apricot" color, with zero
mileage" [they carried it to the garage
hands], exchange for a new apartment, where else
no human has ever set foot
Military University is looking for jobs
illiterate secretary-typist for work
bots with secret documents
Two friends are looking for a third
friend-sponsor, for a joint presentation
books "Singing in the Rosehip"
Due to numerous requests from viewers, only
one concert "I am not Philip". Rafael sings
Kirkorov
An experienced translator offers his services
hours for summer time
I’ll easily get you out of binge drinking at home, and also
from home on a binge
PHONE SEX - COLD LINE
The company "Snegurochka" sells with delivery
to the snow women's house
Three-axis, non-recoil mounts
Computer figure selection
Snowenvironmentally friendly
Delivery home by Bigfoot
"Deal with us and you will never be...
warm!"
The company "FROM THE WORLD BY THREAD" sells wholesale:
Calculators from Kolkata
Issyk-calculators from Issyk-Kul
Ventilators from the vein
Senators from the Seine
Separators [for a separate world]
TWO MONS ARE BETTER THAN ONE
A painting from a personal collection is for sale
"Stereo Lisa". The same Mona, only in profile
and in duplicate. Guaranteed
Linnik. Warranty period is two years
COMMERCIAL BANK "PEOPLE ARE KIND!" AND PRODUCER
SERIAL CENTER "Sorry for contacting
to you"...
They are holding a joint campaign “HELP WHO
WHAT IS RICH!”
In the program: "THE PEOPLE OURSELVES WE ARE NOT LOCAL"
Competition: "WE ARE REFUGEES"
Venue: "LIVE AT THE STATION"
Participants: "NEITHER DADDY OR MOTHER"
When our advertising agents meet in Va-
metro races please take part in
ongoing campaign "THANK YOU!"
Anecdotes about mothers-in-law...
A 3-year-old boy comes to his dad at the dacha
and asks:
-Dad, why is grandma running around the garden?
zigzag?
-To whom she is a grandmother, and to whom she is a mother-in-law. Give me more
one cartridge, son
The mother-in-law dies, looks out the window and says:
- What a sunset...
Ason-in-law:
-Mom, don’t get distracted. Keep busy.
your business
The son-in-law comes running home and shouts to his mother-in-law:
- Spit on my chest!
“Why?” she is surprised.
- Never mind, don’t ask!
She spat, her son-in-law dried himself and, smiling,
said:
-The doctors told me to dispel snake venom-
rubbed himself!
-My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday!
-Well, how does your mother-in-law feel?
-Mother-in-law is fine, but the dog is dead...
A man is walking down the street. He sees another man
pushes his aunt off the balcony.
-What are you doing? - shouts - This is a woman -
rank!
“If it were a woman,” comes from
balcony - Because it’s my mother-in-law!
-Uh, the creature is still clinging!!!
A mother says to her daughter:
-This guy you're dating
so disgusting! With what pleasure I
I would become his mother-in-law!
A young man came to the electrical goods store
person:
-What would you like to buy from us?-ask-
says the seller.
-I need to buy a gift for my mother-in-law!
-Here please, electric iron, electric-
tric stove, electric coffee maker.
-Tell me, do you have the electric chair?
no sale?
The owner comes running to the veterinarian and asks
cut off your dog's tail immediately.
-What happened, why so urgently?-
the doctor is surprised.
-My mother-in-law is arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want to
no friendly expressions!
Ring. The owner picks up the phone.
-Hello, your mother-in-law fell into the pool with a croco-
dilami!
-Your crocodiles - you save them
Ivan is looking for a saw in the closet. Not finding it, ask -
tells his wife:
-Do you know where our old saw is?
The mother-in-law's voice comes from the kitchen:
-If I drank, I’m still not that old.
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