Funny? - it is known that the entire population of the Earth is divided into normal people and those who work with computers.

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It is well known that the entire population of the Earth
divided into normal people and those who
works on the computer. And the first from
every year it becomes less and less
less.  Therefore, as soon as normal
a person sits down of his own free will
computer, feel free to call the paramedics,
for only early
prevention.

          Stages of the disease
       symptoms and treatments:

           First stage (mild):

  Symptoms: A person sits down
computer, turns it on, works and
goes home at the end of the working day, after
what he doesn’t remember about the computer before
next morning.    Appetite and sleep
normal.   Headaches and diarrhea
are missing.
 Recommended treatment: In treatment
temporarily not needed.


      Second stage (featherweight):

  Symptoms: The patient has
increased interest in the computer,
expressed in unhealthy agitation,
enveloping him at the sight of the indicated
object.    Appetite is normal.   Dream
restless, with cries and
squeals.  Stays late at work
for 2-3 hours and tramples the buttons.
  Recommended treatment: Remove
patient from the computer, taken orally
medical alcohol 3 times a day, 0.5
tablespoons. Computerliterature
remove it out of reach.  From work
meet.


    Third stage (moderate):

  Symptoms: The patient lingers on
work more than 4-5 hours after finishing
working day and saves money for home
computer.     In everyday life it begins
use computer terminology and
does not respond to dilated eyes
those around you.   Increased appetite.  Dream
restless, shouting slang
little words and causeless laughter. Comes
in sudden excitement at the sight of a computer
or when meeting patients in stage 3 and
above.   In this case, the disease may
go to stage 4.
  Recommended treatment: Patient
isolate from society and, despite
its resistance, remove from
computer, take money, get married. When
violent behavior and refusal of treatment
administer intragastrically 1-2 scoops of vodka
with port wine "777", mixed in
proportions 1:2. Do not give a basin.


      Stage four (severe):

  Symptoms: The patient buys himself
computer and modem.   Speech abounds
various computer words and their
combinations.  Invents new words and
saving money for a dedicated telephone line
line. Appetite greatly increased. Eats any
I eat at any time of the day if there is food.
Sleeps 3-4 hours a day, as at night
calls over the modem and every time you connect
makes screams described by btpetbem tome
books "Lifeanimals" (chapter 11,
mating behavior of a male rhesus macaque
period).  Reacts poorly to others.
Sexual desire is reduced. Vomiting, work,
there is no delirium or diarrhea.
 Recommended treatment: Can be treated
only in hospital.


        Fifth stage (hopeless):

  Symptoms: The patient starts a BBS,
to whom he devotes everything free from calls
and programming time.    Speech
slurred, consisting of 80 or more
percent from computer jargon,
mixed with special terms. Appetite
and no sleep.  Eats only what
falls within the line of sight,
regardless of the type and quality of the product.
Has strong absent-mindedness -
for example, lights a box of matches and
other.  Pays attention to others
only if they say
computer related phrases. Sexual
there is no attraction because
periodically feels the feeling
deep satisfaction from the line on
"Connect 19200..." screen. Holds about
computer night vase and a pack of tea,
who forgets to dilute in water.
  Recommended treatment: No treatment
subject.

                       Boris Savin