This piece of folk art is on my BBS
shit... (oh, sorry) sent MAG from Grodnosoft.
Dr.GRIFUS MDM 253-37
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SERVING THE SOVIET UNION
(Deadly ESSe)
The soldier looked at the elephant standing in front of him at the very
sunshine, and doubted. The gray solid elephant stood calmly,
like a statue, and composed a sonata.
- Elephant? - the soldier asked himself and again began to look
bark at the elephant.
I watched the soldier for seven days, doubting, but maintaining my composure.
composure typical of Soviet soldiers. and the seventh day
the elephant began to get ready to run away, and the soldier rushed to his
foreman Sidorenko - the most savvy foreman in the Soviet
construction battalion
Sergeant Major Sidorenko sat and listened to the Sony system, trying
don't sleep. and on the foreman’s table there was moonshine and a salad of rotten
beets with celery.
“Stop, soldier,” the sergeant-major commanded the hurrying soldier.
- a cigarette here!
“Yes, yes,” the soldier ran for a cigarette and handed it to the elder
no.
“A match here,” the foreman commanded again.
“Yes, yes,” the soldier flew to get a match for the foreman.
“Free,” said Sidorenko, calling out “Stolichnye”.
“Elephant,” the soldier burst out.
- Elephant? - asked the foreman, doubting the justice
his wordssoldier - solid?
- Solid, solid.
- Grey?
- Completely gray.
- Seductive... And with lard?
- It's the season. There is so much lard that even seven people cannot eat.
- Let's eat. “We’ll cook it and eat it,” the foreman spat relishfully at
side of the wall on the silhouette of Stalin.
- Today?
- Now.
-Can you handle it on your own?
- I doubt.
Grabbing the list of the construction company, the foreman began to think:
- Sidorov, Sidoridze, Sidorchuk, Sidoryan, Sidorauskas, Si-
doryanu, Sidoreliya, Sidorbekov, Sidor-ogly, Sidorman!!!
- Fly to Senior Sergeant Sidorman. Can you handle him?
- I doubt.
- Brats! I'll go myself. Go and get ready.
Senior Sergeant Sidorman sat slouched in the soldier's room
dining room and, wincing, through tears, savored a glass of alcohol with
soda.
- Listen, Sidorman. The foreman said to get ready for the elephant,
- Soldier Sidorov said sadly and swept the glass off the table.
-Are you completely crazy? - Sidorman asked, collecting glass.
- Quite seriously, I heard it with my own ears.
Hurry up and get ready to see the foreman.
The elephant accidentally heard the words of the foreman while sitting on a pillar in
steppes behind the shooting range.
The elephant clenched his cheekbones in fear and began to call his fellow
nicks for advice.
At the fortieth session of the Elephant Council of the seventeenth convocation
seventy elephants from seven countries gathered. Together we compiled
Council listElders.
- Companions! - the elephant said to the crowd, standing on the table. -
Listen here, today (now) soldier, senior sergeant and
the foreman are going to boil and eat a hundred elephants from countries
cialist community. This can serve a bad purpose
service to elephants and does not glorify the Soviet soldier at all.
“It’s a shame for sadistic construction battalion workers to eat elephants,” he whined.
the weakest baby elephant from Sumgayit.
“It’s not worth fighting,” said a strong old elephant from Sa-
ratova.
- Let's go to the Sahara! - the eldest elephant said, getting down from
creaky table. - Now!
The elephants boarded a silver plane with lilac seats in
salon. Cute flight attendants in self-sewn blue
calico safari-style sundresses scurried among the elephants with a hundred
citro ends. Looking at the seductive flight attendants, elephants
They swallowed saliva convulsively.
Standing in the steppe, soldier Sidorov, senior sergeant Sidorman and
Sergeant Major Sidorenko looked around.
- I lied, you bastard! - the foreman said fiercely, squeezing
feet insoles of boots.
“He escaped, the brute,” Sidorman realized with regret,
Blowing his nose in annoyance towards Sidorov. Sidorov fussily erased
snot from his shirt and frock coat, shaming Sidorman for his deeds
no.
- Look, there's a plane! - wheezed with torn ligaments of the elder -
on, completely crumpling the insoles. - With elephants!!! Sidorman - on the right,
Sidorov is on the left. Run awaybehind the plane and grab it!
Sidorman immediately hid among the succulent stems of saxaul,
calmly following events, and Sidorov, like a sprinter,
flashing his fresh gray hair, he rushed after the plane, but too
quickly, and sank to death.
Rumors about the sudden death of the Soviet soldier Sidorov
composed themselves and spread throughout the village. Happened soon
serious events. On Saturday, the village council held a trial of
Sidorenko and Sidorman. Listened to witnesses from the elephants and
flight attendants. The flight attendants referred to information collected by the elephant
mi, and the elephants, fearing the severity of the court, hid under the bench-
kami.
“Tell me, Sidorman,” asked the judge, “how many elephants are there?”
were you on the plane?
“Count it yourself,” Sidorman joked and, laughing, handed it to the judge
a hundred. The judge frantically grabbed the hundred, fussily rolled it up, stuck it
into the safe and said:
- Sidorman was not in contact with Sidorenko, therefore
Sidorman is free.
Sidorman calmly collected himself and, without any shame,
brought Zionists and Semites into the country.
Sidorenko angrily watched Sidorman, but due to his
conscientiousness could not follow the advice of the senior sergeant and conscience
regretted his harsh fate as a Slavic son. Of course,
the sergeant-major immediately, in the heat of the moment, lied about Sidorov’s suicide, but
the conference of judges doubted. The judge himself is bashfully sympathetic
shaft Sidorenko and cut off the term of exile of the foreman fordeath of a soldier
for seventy-seven days.
Now Sidorman is sitting in his own sauna in the Semitic
country with a cigar and a glass of Scandinavian alcohol and soda, and
Sidorenko is building pigsties in Siberia.
C'est la vie!
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