°∙·ONE AND ONLY JOKE MAGAZINE·∙°
(The work of fellow Argon, with a little help from CYBORG.)
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NUMBER 3
Well, fellow ZX users, hello. Here's another one
text with jokes.
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ANNOUNCEMENTS and JOKES and other JOKES:
┌─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┐
│ I will buy hot water in large quantities. Solomenskaya bathhouse. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ I am looking for an owner who can provide a decent life for a dog. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ The company produces telephones with caller ID. Who would you like │
│ didn't call, phonewill accurately determine your own │
│ number. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ I'm looking for a job. I know how to collect stamps, bottles and people for meetings.│
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ I will take off my Chinese panties for a period of one year. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Chewing gum "Tip-Tip" will seem even tastier to you if│
│ you remove the wrapper from it. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ The charming, intelligent, divorced widow agreed again-│
│ sleep. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Dear residents of Kyiv! Don't go to Africa for a walk!!! │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Donate money to our bank! You won't have any worries │
│ except for one thing - how to get your money back! │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ In our “financial transactions” courses you will be taught how to transfer │
│ money from hand to hand until it disappears completely. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ A listening device was discovered in parliament. Itwas │
│ built into the microphone on the central stand. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Urmas Ott said that he would like to meet with Veronica Castro│
│ . All that remains is to get permission from Veronica’s father, Fidel.│
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Any woman can do three things out of nothing: a hairstyle, a sa-│
│ armor and tragedy. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Japanese equipment, Finnish plumbing, French cosmetics │
│ tiku and clothes - you can photograph all this with a camera - │
│ "Zenith" headquarters. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ If you have problems with cash, a commercial agent │
│ our bank will grieve with you! │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ A cow that escaped from a meat processing plant (black with two spots) │
│ please consider it invalid. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ The Cardboard Durilka cooperative will produce cheaply and quickly for │
│ you receive false IDs, passports, travel tickets. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Do you dream of a familyhearth, comfort and peace? Our bureau is familiar -│
│ stv for a freely conventionable currency will quickly dispel your │
│ dreams. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ After many years of experiments, sixth-grader Andrei M. came│
│ to the conclusion: earthworms go fishing only once every │
│ life. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ I am looking for a life partner - kind, affectionate, handsome, businesslike │
│ Russian, resident of Los Angeles or suburbs. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Buy Dzintars eau de toilette. Toilet water "Dzinta- │
│ rs" is water from the best toilets in Riga. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Are you afraid of family conflicts? One ball of chewing gum-│
│ ki Zdolbonów cement plant - and your wife won’t open it │
│ mouth for a month. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ We offer quickly and cheaply - phones with an auto advisor! │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ We offer any goods at the most humiliating prices. │├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Sleeper-impregnating section number 6 will drink any amount │
│ sleepers. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ The Kuril Islands are dangerous to the health of people of Japanese nationality. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ The cooperative "Electrician-Installer" will quickly and cheaply install headlights - │
│ fort teeth that can easily withstand stress up to 3x │
│ thousand volts. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Everyone should know: AIDS is a disease of the century, as well as the eyes, │
│ ear, throat, nose, stomach! │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Gentlemen! To keep things from getting under your feet, get busy │
│ your cat. Only with us - wholesale supplies of mice from our own-│
│ new warehouses. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Cooperative "Lipka" for a freely ventilated rake installed - │
│ install a rapid-fire waterer on your summer cottage. Soon- │
│ watering available - 80 shots per minute. │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ Cooperative for permanent workExperienced accountant required │
│ (can be a woman), as well as an experienced woman (can be an accountant). │
├─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┤
│ We offer a cheese-making mini-factory that can accommodate -│
│ sitting on your balcony. Service personnel 27 people. │
└─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────┘
Well, if you liked it, call me and wait for new issues of magazines
"JOKES".
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And now BIG HELLO'sy:╔═══════════════ ═════════════════════════╗
┌───────┐ ╔═══════════╣ Diamond(4139792),*ANDY NIK*,Alex,LOGO, ║
│╔═════╗│ ║ B I G ║ CYBORG,A.N.V,STRYKER,ALFA soft,CHIP, ║
│║Argon║│ ║ TO: ║ LORD WINTER,EVIL MAN,STS,369-SIFT, ║
│╚═════╝│ ║ HELLO ║ Burn Acid, OLDMAN, Dr. Longman, MicroWord. ║
└───────┘ ╚═══════════╩══════════════ ══════════════════════════╝
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Date: 02.26.96 MDM 401-9029;9:00/23:00
Time: 03:00 am to 03:44 am (c) Copyright by Argon
ZXNet 095:1356017..4019029 Only for All Users ZXNet.
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║ Attention! At the moment I am already registered!║
║ on LIME-3 (MicroWord). So Call....... ║
║ Myaddress: ZXNet 095:1356017..4019029 (16-22h). ║
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║ ARGON SOFT (c) ║ Alexander ║ ARGON SOFT (c) ║
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