Humor - Windows95 and phone sex.

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(c) Alex Exler 2:5O2O/443.1           
                                          
Windows95 and phone sex        
        
 First installations of Windows95 - always
a bit like having sex when you were young
age.   The same lust at the sight
set of installation diskettes, the same non-
agility and missing the first try
drive slot, the same openings are very
interesting patterns, and he himself
the process (after some experience) continues
quite a long time.                            
     One evening, this is exactly what I was doing...
I was wondering: I installed Windows95 for the first time
to your computer.  Tired of sex with
Windows95 I decided to diversify at least a little
so I decided to devote one hour
study of the most curious phenomenon of our
modernity - phone sex. There were
2O phones were taken from various advertisements
ny, like: “Today I’m yours all night,”
"Call and you will find out what real-
sweet caresses", "I will be yoursall night and you
you will only pay for international calls
thief" etc. I, of course, understood that
paradise American international telephone code
Well, I end up in some Ust-Periz-
#yuysk, where 2-year-olds sit on their phones
ladies, but - an experiment is an experiment.  
                                          
     First, local numbers were dialed -
nine hundred-something.  Half just don't
answered, and where I reached on the phone,
a wild female voice answered: “Organization service.”
GAZM welcomes you! Wait a minute-
ku". For the sake of the purity of the experiment, I waited
ten minutes, but the situation will not change
las.  It’s not entirely clear how they collected
tried to induce an orgasm by listening
silence on the phone... Apparently, they were counting
whether on particularly impressionable natures, who
the fact of the call is enough
"sexy" phone number. I want this
was clearly not enough, so it came
queue of international telephones. When
re 9 out of 1O numbers were heard from the phone
voice: “Call the telephone operator.” Here I am
I realized that most companies have switched to full-time
customer service, but call the phone
money for a house - I simply wouldn’t have the money
enough.  And so, after typing the last
phone, a miracle happened: I got through somewhere-
came on, the receiver was picked up and... the magnet turned on
Nitophone (the sound is the good old "Eh-"
electronics"), andmelodic female voice
began to broadcast: “Hello, my love! I see
that you are well prepared for the conversation with
by me.  You are sitting in front of a screen on which
all sorts of erotic scenes take place, and
you stocked up on a seductive magazine,
Here he is, lying next to you."            
                                          
     Here I got cold feet. Where is this lady from?
Kobylopoimenskaya could have known that I was sitting
in front of a 17-inch monitor, on which
Windows95 is spinning, and next to me lies
a hefty volume of "WINDOWS 95 from the inside"? Yes-
her aunt: “Do you really think that her
butt is more seductive than mine"? I'm long
I looked for Windows95's ass, but I couldn't find it, so
that victory remained with the aunt, because what
Apparently she had no butt. Next
everything continued in the same spirit, and I,
Of course, I went a little crazy. I really wanted to
communicate with a living soul.  Let from Perep-
Lyuska, she may be 6O years old, but I would tell
her about sex with Windows95, about 32-bit access
not to the body, about love in protected mode, and
they... Ugh!                              
                                          
So, the whole thing ended with me
yelled into the phone (hoping that they would at least
for the sake of humor, clients write down): “Everything is fine -
little, auntie! You won! Hold it, auntie,
nose to the propeller!" etc. etc.In general, guys, these are the things with
with this phone sex! However, I can’t
not to admit that after the bills arrive
international negotiations I was very
excited, but was it possible?
awakening - sexual? Not sure...      
                                          
     Moral: sex with a Windows95 installation -
much more pleasant, and most importantly - much more
better than phone sex!              
                                          
(c) (e) Alex Exler 1996                   
    http://www.aha.ru/"exler              
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