Humor - Purpose, operating conditions and technical data of the toilet paper product (art. N 11315509651).

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 I N S T R U C T I O N           
           
           
Purpose, operating conditions and   
 technical product data    
toilet paper (art. N 11315509651)   
    
 The product is intended for removal 
remnants of the defecation process from the outside 
edge of the anus, adjacent to 
areas of skin adjacent to it and locally con- 
centered on a given area of the body 
hairline (hereinafter referred to as the place 
use).                           
    1. Carefully read this 
instructions.  The instructions must be 
fastened with M6 screws in an easily accessible and well- 
well litplace in the direct line of sight 
capabilities of the user(s).       
    2. Place the roll of the product at the level 
not the user's chest in a slightly horizontal position 
tal position.                        
    3. Perform an act of defecation.          
    4. Ensure successful completion 
act and in the absence of urges to continue it 
marriage (this point is important for saving and 
rational use of the product).      
    5. Direct forward motion 
with your right hand down, grab the tip (of the product) 
I), and then with a sharp movement up and 
to the right at approximately an angle of 60 degrees 
pull the arrows towards the horizon line (product 
e), thus unwinding 700 mm of paper 
tapes (for user convenience, every 
100 mm products are marked with perforations).  
    6. Multidirectional movement of hands in 
horizontal plane, make adjustments 
tape breaks approximately in the middle between 
two closest perforation sites.    
    NOTE.                           
    It is not recommended to tear 
in perforation areas due to danger 
disruption and deformation of the fibrous structure 
tours of product material.                   
    7. Fold the piece of product in the form of a gar- 
midges (accordion), sequentially bending it 
according to perforation areas.                   
    8. Transfer to your hand, most conveniently 
new for the user.                     
    9.Attach what you received during the previous 
further manipulations the product to the place of use 
vania and, pressing your hand tightly to the skin 
cover, make wiping movements 
in the intergluteal space.             
   10. Using a clean, dry hand, check the 
quality of cleaning (intergluteal 
the space should be dry to the touch and 
slightly rough). If found 
poor-quality wiping to perform mani- 
populations described in paragraphs 4-9 three or four more 
times.                                     
                                          
    PRECAUTIONS                 
    1. Do not smoke near the product.          
    2. Do not throw away the used product 
in places of culture, recreation and eating.  
    3. Keep away from children. Toilet paper 
- not a toy, but a hygiene product.         
    4. Repeated use is not recommended. 
use of the product.                      
                                          
Printed based on text from the Sport newspaper 
for 08;02;97. Submitted to the "kypbe-competition" 
call 97" by reader S.V. Romanova.