Story - A small Mi-24 military helicopter was flying over the wide Anduin River...

Main idea : Chainick, Gas
Info support: Synoptic
Graphics: One Man
Music: Mast/FTL


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          |  O V E R L O G |
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          |       No. 4  |
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              | Storyteller |
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 Chapter I

 Over the wide river Anduin flew a small
such a military helicopter Mi-24, for
at the helm of which Rambo sat and did not expect
no danger. There is also peace on the river bank
but the birds sat and quietly pecked at
du. Rambo was solving a crossword puzzle and also sipping on
Do, carbonated. Suddenly there was a signal
wogs. The crossword and soda flew away in an instant
out the window, and Rambo focused his attention
on the locator. His helicopter was approaching
something huge. Rambo looked out the window and
instantly began to sweat, then he was thrown into
heat, then cold - flew straight at him
a dragon, a huge, fire-breathing dragon...
   The birds scattered screaming when
the flaming helicopter dived into the water.

 * * *

 The Batmobile was driving along the Great Highway,
bouncing on bumps and turning over
somersault, since Batman was a little off
hungover and did not follow the controls. Sometimes
he remembered yesterday's drinking session, he
it was getting bad, and another Batmobile
I somersaulted once.  He hasn't yet
knew that two people were waiting for him around the corner
troll.

 * * *

   RoboCop walked leisurely along the dark corridors
Moriah.    His eyes are projectors perfectly
lit the road.   Soon he went out to
a huge hall, the vault of which was lost in
height.  Even its powerful spotlights
could illuminate the ceiling. They left the hall
six corridors.  RoboCop rolled the dice and
I took the fourth one from the left.  Suddenly from behind
screams were heard.   “Orcs,” I thought
RoboCop walked faster. Most on
world he did not like orcs, who were very
unpleasantly and very accurately smashed with stones
eye lenses.  Suddenly the floor of the corridor suddenly
crossed the steps and RoboCop rolled
down.   But then his uncontrollable fall
stopped, he found himself on the floor
a small room from which the passage came
straight to the Bridge, Bridge over the Bottomless
an abyss. And on the bridgeThe Balrog was already waiting.
RoboCop boldly stepped onto the bridge and loudly
shouted:
   - Come on, hit me, I'm not afraid of you.
   And then his head flew into the abyss.
After the second blow he flew after
with your head...

 * * *

   - IN!  Not a single living s-soul from
Misty m-g-mountains to L-Lórien! - rang out
a drunken cry over the wasteland of Eriador. Drunk
Ilya Muromets was going down the hill. Suddenly on
Wolves appeared on the horizon. "Oh!" - said
Ilya stopped.  "Oh!"  - he said
a few seconds later, having already found himself on
hill.  He could not even imagine that
in such a terribly inconvenient way (with your back on
on all fours) you can move so fast.
   "Hic! I mean Ouch!" - he said when
the wolves appeared on the hill.  He's unsteady
stood up and swung his ax, but
That didn't stop the wolves...

 Chapter II

   - Well, it’s finally come to the end
our Sun Festival.  Ick!  Drunk Elrond
knocked over another cup of Hobbit
beer into his bottomless mouth and washed it down
cognac
   - Let's soak this in - and knocked it over
Sky mouth another cup.
   At this time, from behind the trees at the same time
Ilya Muromets, Batman, Rambo and
RoboCop.
   - Where are you going, actually?
Is the holiday over already? -inquired
Elrond.
 - For your funeral.  - said gloomily
Rambo threw his crutches aside.
   “Don’t be afraid,” said Batman, “it’s him.”
jokes. He didn't look the best either. Legs
he was tangled in fragments of his cloak, and his mask
I was missing an ear.
   - But we have a business proposal for you.
life!
   - This needs to be soaked! - said Elrond
and drank three cups of cognac at once. After
he could no longer think about it and fell down
under the table
   - What's wrong with him? - asked Robo's head
cop, which he held under his arm.
   - Yes!.. - noticed all the ragged and and
bitten Ilya Muromets, who from bites
sobered up.
   - They must have had a brutal...
drinking!
   - Yes! - said one of the most sober
guests - we had a Sun Festival here.
   -  OK.  - said Rambo and raised his
earth crutches - then we’ll arrange a meeting
tomorrow, and now I’ll go for treatment. RoboCop
Ilya Muromets and Batman also separated.

 Chapter III

   In the morning, the first to appear at Elrond's house was
RoboCop.  Lórien elves for two bottles
overnight they welded his head on. He knocked
through the heavy armored door and opened it for him
a heavily armed guard inspected
toe to head, and only then let him in. Already
the sobered Elrond sat at the huge
table and played with himselfTic Tac Toe.
   - Great, friend!  - said RoboCop and,
looking around, he asked in surprise: “Where is everyone
the rest?"
   - They are being treated!  - Elrond said, sit down,
they will be soon.
   After a while he entered the room
Muromets, healthy as a bull (all his bites
smeared with a grease) and sat down next to Elrond.
RoboCop looked at Ilya (After all, this is exactly
he brought zazhivin to this part of the galaxy) and
remembered this terrible planet on which
disgusting insects did it
medicine, but now it didn't matter
meaning, since it was a long time ago, then he
was still human and could travel to
the most distant parts of the galaxy. But suddenly
his thoughts were interrupted by Batman and Rambo, who
at this time they entered the hall.  In protective
suits, with healed wounds, they
looked even better than before.
   - So, we begin our secret
meeting!  - Elrond said and stood up. Suddenly
Drunken shouts were heard from under the table:
"Hurray!","Bravo!","Well done, Elrond!","Hick!",
and the head of the guard appeared, and behind him
the heads of the rest of yesterday's guests.
   Elrond went absolutely mad: “Nak? Oh, you
goat! Here I am!
   - You yourself are a goat. - came the answer.
 Then Elrond became completely furious and,
He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly.
A platoon of Greens immediately burst into the hall
Berets - Elrond's personal guard.
   -  What's happened? -asked the boss
but Elrond didn’t have time to answer: Rambo
jumped up, remembering Afghanistan, and shouted loudly:
   - Well, here we are! All bullets
to you, the last one to me!   - he added,
snatching the gun.   But he turned out to be
unloaded, and Rambo, drawing his long
knife, rushed at those who entered. After a while
time the last Green Beret fell,
choking on his own blood. Elrond
I counted them with sadness in my eyes and realized
that one thing is missing.   "Probably
Colonel, thought Elrond, this is a cunning
The beetle has apparently disappeared." During this time RoboCop
pushed out all the uninvited guests and the council
started.

 Chapter IV

   - We need to finally get rid of Urfin
Jus and everything else subject to him
evil spirits
   Elrond paced around the table, nervously
shaking his head.
   - Who has any suggestions?
   - Let's fly at them in helicopters!
Rambo suggested.
   - Doesn't fit! First of all, we don't know
where is their base?   Secondly, we don't have
helicopters. Thirdly, many of them live
underground and in Moria. More suggestions.
   - Then let's attack with tanks. -
Batman said.
   - This is also not suitable. All our tanks
captured by orcs.
   - Then let's attack them
separately.    First let's deal with
wolves, then - with trolls, etc.
   - You are a genius, Ilyusha, butwho are you
do you mean by "WE"?   -
Elrond asked suspiciously.
   - There are five of us.
   - Well, no!  I'm not going anywhere!
Provide you with provisions, weapons,
I can use technology, but I won’t go anywhere.
   - Yes?   - Rambo asked threateningly,
half drawing his
"small" cleaver.
   - Well... Uh... Well, I... Uh... not really,
Of course, I’m sure, but anything is possible. But
try to understand me too. I don't have
right to risk my life, because I
political leader, and they depend on me
the lives of many.  What will happen if I die?
The elves will be left without land, without home - without
nothing...
   - Yes... Well, okay, but you give us everything,
what will we say.
   - Rambo, everything in my power, I'm everything
I will do it for such a great cause.

 Chapter V

   Wargs whom Ilya Muromets mistook for
wolves, sat at the foot of the Lonely Mountain and
celebrated with the goblins their
victory.  At this time, from behind the mountain, unexpectedly
a tank appeared. The wargs were so drunk
that they didn’t notice him until he arrived
to the distance of the extended muzzle, from which
soon with a terrible roar
a small cylinder with an inscription flew out
"Big Neutron Bomb".   Having flown
a few meters, he plopped into a barrel with
wine, in which he drowned safely.Suddenly the tank lid fell back (poor
cover   eternal rest to her) and from her
Rambo appeared with a nasty grin.
The wargs began to scatter, but no one
managed to run far.  Ramb pulled out his
the "Dragon" machine gun, which he had previously torn from
the remains of his Mi-24. Not even a minute has passed
how all the wargs ended up lying peacefully on
the ground soaked in blood, and the tank is already
ran briskly across the clearing, crushing
scattering and screaming goblins.  B
soon it was all over, and Ilya
skinned the main warg. "GOOD
there will be a fur coat!"  - he said, and Rambo
walked nearby and finished off more
alive, so that they do not suffer.
   Suddenly one of the goblins shouted:
   - Hurry up! Finish me off!
   - Nak?  Are you still alive? It didn't kill you or
ran over by a tank?
   - No.
   - So why are you yelling like that, you fool?
   - I pinched my finger with the shutter.  Kill
me... Kill me quickly!
   “Well, as you wish...” said Rambo and
fired the entire clip at him.  Sometimes
the gunpowder smoke cleared Rambo with
I stroked my machine gun with pleasure,
noticing what was left of the goblin
not much... At this time, a sound was heard from the tank
Batman's voice:
 - Okay, guys, stop kidding,
let's go!  Everyone got into the tank and left, and to
corpses began to flock in search of
carrion crows, hawks,eagles, irons,
crocodiles and drug addicts...

Р.S. If you haven't guessed where yet
the heroes took the tank, then I explain - they
stole it from the goblins. Now let's move on to
main events.

 Chapter VI

   The walls of Moria began to tremble, and most importantly
a huge excavator appeared in the corridor
machine with lasers on board. At the controls
RoboCop sat and, sticking out his tongue, furiously tugged
levers.  Soon the car arrived at the Bridge,
but there was no one on it. "Gone away," -
a voice was heard from the car, which
RoboCop with great effort, as well as
begged heavy artillery from the dwarves. He
I installed a rotating mechanism on it myself
laser guns.
   At this time the car collapsed
a huge strawberry, and two laser guns
turned into a pile of scrap metal. RoboCop
just howled with indignation and began
destroy everything around with the remaining cannons.
After some time, the cave increased in size
approximately twice the size, but in
at the same time a huge fell on the car
tomato, and there's only one left in action
gun.  But she still got the Balrog,
which was wound through one of the exits.
The defeated monster fell, and the cave roof
collapsed.
   Soon only the smoking ruins of
horizon reminded thatthere
Once upon a time there were the mountains of Moria...

 Chapter VII

   - I'm tired of this lamb, Burke!
 Two trolls sat in a clearing and
indulged in the morning meal, to put it simply
had breakfast.   At this time behind the trees
a distant rumble was heard.
   - ABOUT! Something delicious is coming, -
Tom licked his lips and took out his big
a fork, about a meter long.  Suddenly this is something
(which turned out to be a repaired helicopter)
fired a rocket, and Burke almost stayed
without a head.
   -    Wow!   It's delicious too
shoots himself,” and Burke pulled out from under his jacket
sawn-off shotgun  Bang - and the helicopter was left alone
fragments, but the heroes survived (they shot
in the rescue capsule).  At this time
the sun rose and the trolls turned to stone.
   The heroes robbed their lair and got drunk
moonshine (also stolen) went to Razdol,
to Elrond.

                Chapter VIII

 - Oh! Hello friends!
   Elrond was just having breakfast when
the four already known to you appeared in his
home.
   - Well, how are you doing?
   - Great, only the helicopter was destroyed.
   Ilya Muromets scratched the back of his head, which
he was sick after being shot in the capsule.
   - Now only the dragon and Urfin remain
Juice.
   - Okay, we’ll have a snack here and think,
how to hit themhorns  And through
for some time they had been walking along the road to
Norgorod, where the dragon settled.

 Chapter IX

   The dragon once again crawled out of
his lair - the town hall, when right next to him
a mine exploded under my nose.  One head
immediately flew back to the town hall, and two
others began to look around suspiciously.
The dragon was seriously annoyed by this
extremely impudent attitude towards him.
Looking around, the dragon could not help but notice
a bunch of people holding faustas in their hands...
Actually they were elves, but the dragon was not
especially understood them, they just
he liked them.  To taste. But he's in arms
understood it well. Well, he didn’t like Fausts,
didn't-like.
   “This thing smells bad...” I thought
dragon.  He began to think a third slower
due to the absence of one head. Finish
he never had time to think because of five missiles,
caught in it.
   The charred remains of the monster fell
onto the pavement.  But the dragon was not so simple.
He hastily pressed the F10 key (still
was alive) and immediately recovered. However, he
Now he didn’t wait until they started shooting at him.
Having memorized the location of the enemy forces, he
turned on the teleporter and appeared right behind
the elves' backs. He just opened his mouth with
with the intention to devour them all at once, but not
managed. Without taking into account the factwhat thoughtful
the rebels were surrounded on all sides
mines, he flew into the air. Press F10
this time he didn't have time.

 Chapter X

   When the heroes returned to Elrond, he
was already tipsy and shouting something
inarticulate.
   Ilya suggested:
   - Let's throw him off the mountain! Maybe
will sober up.
   But RoboCop was against it:
   - No need! He's so empty-headed
it will thunder that all the orcs and goblins are here
will come running.   Someone better give it to him
"Andrews answer" or "Alka zelcer".
   Half an hour later Elrond was sober as
glass (cloudy) and told friends
latest news:
 - Can you imagine, Urfin Dzhus
shot himself!
   - What, is it true? - Rambo couldn't
hide your surprise - without me?
Shot yourself?
   - Yes. One of my buddies told me via modem.
He was unable to move and shot himself.
   - Why couldn’t he move?
   - Some bastard tied his shoelaces
boot. So this should be celebrated.
   After a couple of hours everyone was drunk. Them
An hour later the bell rang in the police station:
   - Hello! Is this the police? Come soon!
Here the elves get drunk, and besides...
   Soon cars appeared at Elrond's house
cops...

 Epilogue.

   - Great, guys! What, in the wet business
are you coming?- into the cell where RoboCop was sitting,
Rambo, Ilya and Batman burst into their lawyer -
Winnie the Pooh.   - Well, nothing, somehow
let's get out.   The judge is my father-in-law, father
Malvinas...

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