Humor - Jokes.

 JOKES
--------------------------------

 -BABA APPROACHED THE FENCE AND CREEK
CHIT TO YOUR NEIGHBOR: FROSS, AND FROSS! TE
MY PETER IS NOT HERE?! NO! -HIGH
FROSY COME OUT OF THE WINDOW. -AND THERE IS LIGHT
HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIM? - NO, WHAT?
 -YES WE FOUGHT WITH HIM, AND HE
HE SAID THAT HE WOULD GO TO THE FUCK.

 TWO MEN SMOKING ON THE ZAVALINKA:
-PETRO, DO YOU LIKE TOMATOES? -NO,
- THE ONE WHO IS LOVE SAYS thoughtfully
LYU, SO-NOT...

 INDIANS SITTING BY THE CAMPFIRE AND SMOKING
PIPES, ONE OF THEM THOUGHTLY
YELLS: - GOOD, STILL, BLED -
NOOTS NAMES! SOUND BEAUTIFUL:
BILLY JONES,TEDDY TUCKER! -SO WHAT? - SAYS ANOTHER. -WE HAVE IT-
SAME BEAUTIFUL NAMES. I, FOR EXAMPLE, WITH
KOLYA'S EYE, HE'S A SOLID HAND!..
SO WHAT IS IT YOU, CROOKED DICK, BLAD-
YOU ENVY NUT-FACES.

 IN OUR OLD HOUSE THERE WERE WALLS
SO THIN THAT IN THE EVENINGS YOU WOULD
LO YOU CAN HEARD THE NEIGHBOR WORKING YOUR BRAIN -
GAMI.

 -IF I JUMP INTO THE WATER, YOU WILL SPA-
WILL YOU SIT ME, DEAR? -AH, IF I SKA
WILL YOU JUMP, DEAR?

 TWO SURGEONS STAND AT THE POST BED
RELATED: -YES, IT'S CRAP, IT WILL COME
I AMPUTE MY LEFT LEG - BOTH!
-NO, ONE! BOTH!BOTH! -WELL, OKAY,
OKAY! LET'S NOT QUALIFY ABOUT PUS
YACK!

 A MAN GOES TO A PROCTOLOGIST:
-DOCTOR, I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY ASS-
YET... -TAKE YOUR UNdress, OK, TURN UP
HERE, BEND... MY GOD! YES
YOU HAVE A ROSE THERE! -THIS IS FOR YOU, DOC-
TOP.

 -EXPENSIVE! -STATED BY THE SCIENTIST-
TO HER WIFE FROM THE THRESHOLD, FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU
IT DID IT FOR ME, I DECIDED TO EVERYTHING
READ YOUR NAME!I TOOK YOURS
NAME OF THE VI I JUST OPENED
RUSU!

 -TIRED OF LIVING IN IZHEVSK, OZYVA-
YUT KLICHKA. I WILL LEAVE, GIRLS, TO VIENNA-
I WILL BECOME A VENEREAL!

 HUSBAND STANDS AT THE MIRROR, COWS HAIR
SIA, SINGING A SONG: - PAIR ON BA-
BAM. THE WIFE WHO DECIDED TO REVENGE, HO-
DIT IS NEXT TO HIM AND HUMMS: -TA-
I WILL GIVE YOU THERE FOR FREE!

 A MAN COME TO WORK ALONE
THE BOOTE IS RED, THE OTHER IS GREEN.
HIM'S FRIENDS SAY: - HOW DON'T YOU
IT'S A SHAME, I WOULD GO HOME TO CHANGE.
-YES I WALKED! SO WHAT?! -YES THERE
THE EXACT SAME PAIR IS WORTH IT!

 HAVE YOU DECIDED TO RELAX WITH FRIENDS?
DRINK DRAFT BEER NEAR THE CHAMBERS
CI? SALT VOBLA! IT'S THICK-
THICK LAYER OF SCALES. CHEW THE VOBLA
NO SUGAR AND YOU SAVE YOUR TEETH
FROM CARIES!

 WHAT IS HALF A LITER FOR THREE
AFRICAN? -TWO DRINK, A THIRD-
THEY GET A SNACK.

 CHAPAIEV RETURNED FROM ITALY. -VA-
SILY IVANYCH, SAY SOMETHING
IN ITALIAN, PETKA ASKS.
-FUCK YOU, PETRUCCIO!

AT THE ORAL EXAM AT THE COMACADEMY
CHAPAYEV IS ASKED WHAT DOCUMENTS
YOU ARE EXTRACTED TO THE DEPUTIES.VASILY
IVANYCH IS SILENT EMBARRASSED. KOTOV-
SKY, COVERING WITH HIS PALM, UNDERSKA-
CALLING: -MANDA-YOU! -AND YOU, GRIGO-
RIY IVANYCH, CHAPAEV BOILS, -IF
CUT OFF YOUR EARS AND FUCK YOU AT ALL
YOU WILL BE LIKE!

 -WELL, YOU ARE AN OAK, VASILY IVANYCH!
-YES, I’M STILL STRONG, PETKA!

 -WELL, YOUR FEET ARE DIRTY, VA
SILIY IVANYCH, EVEN DIRTY THAN MY MINE!
-SO I AM OLDER THAN YOU,
PETTKA!

 -VASILY IVANYCH, WHITE BROUGHT-
LEE! -HOW MANY BOXES?

 -THEY DID NOT ACCEPT ME TO THE UNIVERSITY,
VASILY IVANYCH,NASTORIES CUT OUT
SY.ASKED ME WHO IS CE-
DAWN, AND I'LL TAKE AND BLURNT WHAT THIS IS
STALLION OF THE FIFTH SQUADRON. -MY
WINE, PETKA. WHEN YOU WERE AWAY, I
HE WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE SEVENTH.

 AT THE MUSEUM OF THE REVOLUTION GUIDE DEMONSTRIES
CHAPAEV'S SKELETON ROWS. -WHAT IS THIS?
FOR THE SMALL SKELETON NEXT TO
HIM? - THEY ASK HIM. -THIS IS A CHAPA-
EV IN CHILDHOOD.

 -WHAT IS THE REAL RATIO BETWEEN
WITH A POUND, A RUBLE AND A DOLLAR?
-A POUND OF RUBLES IS WORTH A DOLLAR.

 WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE OF THE WORD STANDS FROM
WORTH WORDS? -IF IT’S NOT WORTH IT, THEN
NOT WORTH IT.

 WHAT IS THE PUREEST LOVE? -POS
LE BANNY.

 WHAT IS HIGHER THAN LOVE? -NAVEL.

 IS IT POSSIBLE TO KILL A MOTHER-IN-LAW WITH COTTON WOOL? -YES,
 IF YOU WRAP AN IRON IN IT.

 WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CROSS A VOBLA
WITH STERLET? -WOW.

 IS IT POSSIBLE TO PAINT EGGS WITH A BRUSH?
KOY? - POSSIBLE IF THE HUSBAND IS NOT AFRAID
TICKLES.

 WHAT IS THE MOST VALUABLE THING IN WOMEN'S MILK?
KE? -TARA.

 HOW TO MAKE TWINS? -NEED A DICK
WRAP IN COPY PAPER.

 WHAT IS AN AIRSHIP? -IT'S FLYING
ONE EGG. AND I HAVE TWO EGGS, AND I
I DON'T FLY. WHY? - WORKS BAD
PROPELLER.

 THIS IS THE END OF THE 'JOKES' PART -
THINKING.SEE YOU NEXT.
HAPPY PROGRAM RELEASE!!!