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│ CONTINUOUS JOKS │
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(C) SPEED INFO
(R) RINDEX
Pasha and I are like Pugacheva and Kirkorov, only unmarried...
She is an old woman, and I am a young growing organism.
We prostitutes are not bought, but rented.
Every morning I open my eyes and see that it’s not the same guy again...
ren.
I gave him a cigarette and he gave me a friendly slap across the face.
I have a place to return to. I've been married twice.
Natasha was already pregnant. This made me think that
it is already listed here.
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(C) MASTER SOFT
QUESTIONS TO ARMENIAN RADIO.
- Why were Armenians not allowed to stay in hotels yesterday?
more than 10 days?
- On the 11th day they begin to build the veranda.
* * *
- Attention! We transmit a radio message from China - Tragically law-
The spacecraft was about to be launched. Pogoblo two Chinese space-
Mavta and 500 stokers.
* * *
- Is it true that under communism we will order products by telephone?
Lefon?
- True, but we will broadcast them on TV.
* * *
- What would you advise me to do if they suddenly announce tomorrow
free travel abroad?
- Climb a tree.
- Why on a tree?
- They will trample on the ground.
* * *
- Is it difficultlearn Armenian?
- Nonsense, you just need to use Armenian ones instead of Russian words.
* * *
- How much do legal services cost in Armenia?
- Two answers to two questions - 5,000 rubles. What is your second question?
pros?
* * *
- What is a bride?
- A bride is a woman who was promised everything that she did not receive -
cheats when she becomes a wife.
* * *
- What do Eskimos teach their children from the first steps?
- Never eat yellow snow.
* * *
- What is a cocktail in Polish?
- A glass of water with a straw.
* * *
- How many Poles does it take to paint a house?
- Five thousand and one. Five thousand turn the house, and one holds
paint brush.
* * *
- How to activate a Polish parachute?
- No, it opens automatically when you hit the ground.
* * *
- Why do blacks wear caps with a large visor?
- To prevent bird droppings from getting on your lips.
* * *
Why don't they kill flies in Puerto Rico?
- What are you talking about?! This is their national bird.
* * *
- How many Arabs does it take to replace a burnt out light bulb?
- Four: one holds the light bulb, and two rotate the stool. And Thursday
ty is a permanent European consultant to determine
pour when the light bulb burns out.
* * *
- How to kill an Italian?
- We need to hit him on the head with the lid while he drinks water from the toilet -
pelvis
* * *
- Will there be red caviar under communism?
-It will, if there are color TVs.
* * *
- Why was there a drought in the CIS regions in summer?
- The pioneers croaked: 'May there always be sunshine!'
* * *
- What did Michurin die from?
- Crashed after falling from a strawberry.
* * *
And the last message today. Two collided in the Sea of Japan
submarines: Japanese and Chinese. On the Japanese side, the death occurred
There are ten crew members, with the Chinese - 700 rowers.
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(R)IRONMAN
COLLECTION OF STATEMENTS OF SOVIET OFFICERS
Textbook for junior and intermediate students
educational staff.
"In civilian life you don't need fools.
That's why I'm here."
Unknown ensign.
60. Here one comedian came and asked if it was possible to replace that with
this. I told him “No!” First there, and then here.
61. We perform in the evening, at dawn.
62. Yes, I’m principled, but I’m not a moron!
63. Comrade cadet! Boots are your face!
64. Fellow students! Here they will make mature wives out of you -
female officer. First I will do this, and then the rest of the
ceremonies of our department.
65. A nuclear bomb always hits the epicenter.
66. Comrade cadet! If you want to say something, then it's better
keep quiet.
67. Comrade cadet! If you're a moron, just say so and there's no point.
break the gun!
68. I would like to take you out into an open field, put you facingwall and pu-
take a bullet to the forehead so that they will remember it for the rest of their lives!
69. We went out into an open field, not a tree, and then tanks came around the corner.
70. Colonels do not run, because in peacetime this causes
laughter, and in the military - panic.
71. An ellipse is a circle into which a square can be inscribed
twenty five to forty.
72. There are two opinions on this issue. One thing wrong
and the other is mine.
73. A cannon fires first along a parabola, and then through inertia.
74. When a cadet is called, he must stand up and blush.
75. As you line up, run one at a time.
76. You can’t break everything, you have to sit on something.
77. Hey you three! Come to me, both of you! What are you looking at? I'm telling you-
Ryu.
78. Since childhood, I have had a child.
79. That you sleep standing while walking.
80. A combat leaflet must be a combat leaflet, because this is a combat
howl leaf.
81. The commander said - "Ferret!" And no gophers.
82. The beginning is half the battle, the end is the end of everything.
83. First people will pass, and then we will go.
84. Why are you coming to me with such hands, with such legs!
85. So that I don’t see a single personnel in the barracks!
86. Cadet! Take your hands out of your mouth.
88. He didn’t like salted tomatoes because he couldn’t put his head in a jar.
I climbed through, and if I did climb through, it really stung my eyes.
89. Comrades, it’s time to recover! And we haven't eaten yet!
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