Hayushki! This number, which is called Ret-
ro. Once upon a time I published the first issue
newspapers Fullishness - irregular stupidity
Minsk modem publications. But before
give it publicity, gave it to the Sena to read. The one in
gave his turn to Beard, and both agreed on
that the thing is serious and you can fight for it
Serious hit on the ears :-). In general they
I was dissuaded. Recently this number came
back into my hands. I took a piss! And I realized that
THIS should not disappear. Moreover,
the people we are talking about here have long since left
poured, and it was all already covered with thick
layer of dust. Although it is possible that they will find
There are fools who will remember old grievances.
Either way, it's just a healthy laugh.
Werewolves
───────────────────── ─────────────────────
Well, well... You thought that I meant it to you
just kidding??? Ha! No, you really
Indeed you see the first issue of the review
cool typos, funny phrases and others
pearls I do not intend to ridicule
someone in particular, I don’t care at all,
who will end up on the pages of this newspaper, but
if after reading you have a desire
beat me (like Borod for bbsTOP (in vain,
although sometimes he really went overboard
stick)), then I must disappoint you here in
country of Democracy and fight for the TRUTH: STRICTLY
PROHIBITED! But if you are so
stupid to be offended - Ialways to yours
services!
-Where is your conscience?
Part one - Oh, don't touch her,
She's in my corner!
Who do you think will take first place in
my little review? YES! Without any co-
opinions is Energy and its leader S.S. (by the way
funny abbreviation, don't you think?). And
the sixth place was sacrificed to the first place
measures Let's go in order: "Dirty laundry"...
"... without consulting us, without even
SEEKING permission, the editors of the Move newspaper
without a GAP OF CONSCIENCE inserted someone else's work into
your own edition..."
-: Well, how do you like ASKING? Funny turn of phrase
words, isn't it? But this can still be understood
but, but the GAP OF CONSCIENCE claims to be more
more serious assessment:
Clinging to the gaps of his conscience, the treasury
whose wincing stole from the state
treasury. He hated his conscience precisely because
for these gaps. No matter how ashamed he is,
there was always one in conscience, but more often
only fourteen gaps for which he
had to cling to get out
the abyss of his bashful conscience and with the ability to
for the life of me to steal...
Who is interested Seryozha saw this very
GAP? Conscience does not consist of gaps, or
she is there, or she is not. Well, okay, I grabbed-
for the gap of your conscience (may
Surely I can resist?), I read further:
"... you hurt us very painfully and meanly
lived (─: it’s strange that they didn’t impose it!)
greaterpig..."
─: Damn, what an epithet! Well, in time for the
man insert:
- Sire, our country has been painfully wounded!
-Where did you go?
- I find it difficult to answer, but it hurts!
- Well, let's prescribe treatment with taxes and
everything will pass!
- No, Sovereign, at the same time under the gates -
they laid down such a BAAAAAL PIG!
- This is worse... What are the dimensions of the Pig?
- I don’t know, but I hear it’s very big.
- Then this: Apply to the wounded place
plantain (we also lacked hemorrhoids), and
catch a pig, slaughter, ears on the cold,
the rest to the people...
But this is also not the funniest thing! Look-
Rome further, as Seryozha exposes Alex
for leaving him from Move (actually, what is this
so it affected him?) and we follow its progress
mind-blowing thought:
"...now I UNDERSTAND WHY I LEFT YOU
CODER (Alex Nikiforov)..."
-: Just below:
"... I would never have thought that Alex could
prone to betrayal... ..after that he
JUST FELL (-: Poor Alex) in my eyes
(-: There is an obvious typo here, it should read: “on
my eyes" i.e. Seryozha was an eyewitness to the
Denia) and now I don’t respect him as much as
respected before...
-: ...long, homeric laughter
in the courtroom.. Hmmm, you Seryozha finished-
zero! Okay, I'll try to enlighten you. Uva-
life, just like a GAP in conscience, would not
whether small or large:
- P-Petya, do you respect me?
- I respect...
- Then drink!
- I won’t...
- Petya! Well, do you respect me?
- Y-yes,but I won’t drink!
- So you don’t respect me!
I hope this little dialogue gave you
idea of what respect is. A
It's not clear with Alex. Initially you understood
why did Alex leave, and then he suddenly fell
(raising clouds of dust ;)) in your eyes. B
You can't deny logic!
We wander (wander) further. MORTAL KOMBAT:
"... now that EVERY FAMILY has
MORTAL KOMBAT, we can talk about this
wonderful toy..."
-: Here it is! Despite Joker's threats,
all the FAMILIES in Minsk loved this game.
Even those who have no idea
What is Spectrum? But we are still grateful
and talk about it with great pleasure
wonderful toy!
"...the battle to the death was made by two
coders from CODE BUSTERS: DEN and SLY
..."
-: Wooo! What a wonderful statement!
It turns out the game was made by CODE BUSTERS. Not
I heard this Joker... I wonder what to do
with a small inscription at the bottom of the screensaver: "Pre-
sent by Den&Sly From AWS/Mafia" ? Nasko-
It is only known that Code Busters was written for
games only cool defense, but not self-
mu game!
Such statements, Seryozha, need to be checked,
but who knows, these guys are cool:
- MK for whom? MK! Fresh, products from Code Ba-
Steers! Come on, don't be lazy! Five in total
bucks per disc! - squeaky sales voice
tsa annoyed everyone, but the stupid users lo-
rushed to the tray: CODE BUSTERS after all!
Near the tray, doused with dirtysplashes, lo-
cool users who bought into these
words, Rafik stopped with a proud inscription
on the back: "MAFIA". The cool ones got out of the car
guys in jackets and sunglasses (the rest
in a hurry they forgot in Kharkov) and without saying anything
words (with an imperious look) asked for
obtain distribution rights.
- Ah... this is... well, guys, don’t... oh!
No ! Again in the for.... nooooo...
Cool guys silently, in front of the astonished eyes
shabby users, fucked one by one
unlucky seller, not forgetting the damage -
fight for CODE BUSTERS...
This is how it can happen in life! Well
Let's take a final look at the Price List:
"... the newspaper is constantly in need of editors
any sections..."
-: I liked it! Why do you, Seryozha,
so many editors? The editor should-
there is one! That's how you are - stupid, but tasteful!
Okay, let's leave Energy&Sturm alone for now
and let's move on to the second section... Or rather me-
stu (well, just some kind of top) and here the leader
became... Ha! Lprint#10. Oh funny newspaper
and pearls were riveted here Wooow!
-Where are you running?
Part two - Oh don't ask,
the beginnings are coming!
So, let's look from the very beginning:
"...here, in the anniversary issue, WE JOINED IN
ONE PERSON - new coder and new editor
..."
-: We connected - it’s clear, but how come it’s you?
So both managed, and even in one person:
- Sir, we have a problem. Eunuch and Shepherdunited into one entity.
- Come on! How is this so?
- I don’t understand myself. If you look from behind - Shepherd, and
in front - a Eunuch, while without soap he climbs into
ass.
- Isn’t it possible to return it?
- We tried. Fucks the bastard...
These are the kind of pies you have to bake. Reading
further:
"...It's sad that not a single person except Bro-
m'a didn't bother to turn on his MOMED, and
send a happy message..."
-: Not only do you turn it on, but also the PTO-
ED! It was probably a joke, but what a joke! Lee-
Actually, I immediately have an association with a moped:
Brom took a long time to start his moped, but some
then the dirty trickster poured donkey urine into the gas tank
and the old clunker, groaning and farting, gave out
on the speedometer: "MOPED NOT PRESENT: RETRY,
ABORT, IGNORE?"...
Having given the moped an abortion, we read pearls from Ivan-
to:
"...On THIS I would like to ask all the...
hey who has SPECCY - is this already the one
computer..."
-: ON THIS they don’t ask, ON THIS they stand
(from the series “Stirlitz stood his ground” :)).
And I just left this typo:
...We've already talked about the subversion of even vi-
deoprocessor...
-: Honestly, even my hands are shaking from laughter.
Not only is there talk about Ot, but also about
UNDERCLOSES! What a word! I'll speed it up now:
- Hello, plumber?
- Yes.
- There's dripping under my toilet.
- Podklozenie, three rubles.
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, well, people, everything needs to be explained: We
We carry out three types of work: INSTRUCTION, i.e.
work and repair UNDER THE CLOSET, OVERCLOSET,
i.e.changing the flush cistern and INTRODUCING how
It’s probably already clear, clearing blockages. U
are you dripping under the toilet?
- Yes...
- So it’s a subsidence, three rubles!
Can you imagine, if you also do this...
deviation of the VIDEO PROCESSOR (with direct trans-
broadcast on local television)...
Oh, hilarious... Well, then Ivan is completely disappointed
went:
"... I'm afraid that SPECCY may turn
in the likeness of IBM, the RUDGES of this are ALREADY COMING..."
-: Guys, quickly blame everything on others
platforms, terrible RUDITINGS are ALREADY coming towards us
and there will be NO mercy from them to anyone. So ZACH-
KNOW that you won’t give birth in any maternity hospital
later!
Holding on to those who were beginning to ache from laughter,
haha (maybe the contractions have already started?) I’m laughing
further:
"... in accordance with this, the quality
your games and soundtrack..."
-: Vanya, well, you can’t do that... Russian teach-
you have to...
- Sir, it's me again...
- Problem again?
- Alas, yes. No matter how hard we try, everything is jammed
tops harvest.
- By whom?
- Scott!
- Stab!
- There will be nothing to eat!
- How do they jam it?
- They moo.
- Cattle...
- I mean the same thing...
Ugh. Tears welled up... So, take a sip of pi-
oh, and we read Specter's nonsense:
"... I hope that Body will stop in the distance-
best to print rumors and choose his specialty
cialization area of jokes, anecdotes,
competitions and other recently released Ene-
rgy..."
-: Wrap it up! One sentence, but banter
a whole bunch (quite smelly, by the way):
- Well, sir, what are we going to do?today specialization
fight?
- Well, I don’t know, maybe we can smoke?
- Just smoked.
- He doesn’t take it. Where is the grass from?
- Bombay.
- It’s strange, he doesn’t take it...
- Maybe according to the DR. shall we walk?
- Come on, load it.
- Oh damn...
- What is it?
- Energy smoked the entire Belomor...
- You bastards, they said that the region was liberated -
whether.
- Maybe just by boat?
- DR. don't smoke like that...
-Are you afraid?
- Energy will print jokes again...
- And we will overtake and overtake!
- Then add caramel, the pervach will be for-
fighting.
- Let's poison ourselves...
- Let's try it on cats first...
- So on Specter, he gave us this DR. under-
stuck it.
- I agree, you drive, and I will accelerate!
- No problem, now it will definitely get through!
I guess Lprint got it, I got excited
him, I hope you too. Okay, let's go below
straight to third place. Today he is for-
takes Move #8 and is just awesome
turns and meaning of the “Draft Charter”. Everything is
It’s clear, Arny wanted to do everything according to the rules,
but what happened...
- You owe me money
Part three - Sorry, but this is already
at my discretion...
"...Additional LANGUAGE RESTRICTION
It is NOT allowed to use obscene language
ny. They are allowed only in PERSONAL communication
pussy..."
-: Just read these lines, ka-
what a turn, LIMITATION ON LANGUAGE. We are not enough
guys of our limitations... Yes, but this is not
that's it! This, it turns out, also CONCERNES non-censored expressions! Here it is, now straight
I won’t be able to send anyone as a mime:
- Sir, are you tired of me yet?
- A little...
- People, regarding your latest instruction-
for "LANGUAGE LIMITATION" rebels!
- What exactly is the matter?
- They don’t want to. They say, how can this be, mat-
Now can I only listen by ear?
- Is it possible to send them?
- You can, but only in a personal conversation or via
mail to everyone confidentially.
- Damn...
- Don't talk!
"...to all mail files (UNLESS
RESULTS IN THEIR ELONGATION) can be used
archivers..."
-: Ay, well, just a piece of candy, not an offer-
tion. The user will be so stupid that instead
18 sectors will pack them into 32. But the most in-
interesting, how?! How will he manage to do this?
bark? What kind of archiver was this invented?
which, instead of compressing information, will
on the contrary, increase? I have never
managed to get such results! I will,
I'll definitely try it now, just in case
You can do this trick!
"...SysOp (AT YOUR SOLE DISCRETION) MUST
be connected to the rest of the system..."
-: Oh, well, these footnotes in parentheses are driving me crazy
ryat. There is a GAP OF CONSCIENCE here. How so?
AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION AND SHOULD??? It's like
black and white, either MUST or BY OWN
HIS discretion. But the turnover is very necessary!
In the army and only for warrant officers such a lo-
giku (From me, to the next pillar).
"...Sysop must adjust his program
fic andTRANSFER. "
-: Here I didn’t understand something. Where, co-
mu and what should SysOp transmit? Probably
but are we talking about Morse code?
"... the subscriber must CONTACT BY VOICE..."
-: This expression has been funny to me for a long time -
wat. I always want to ask: Can I
I'll contact you in a knot?
"...SysOp IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CON-
PRIVACY OF CORRESPONDENCE, if the user
the phone provided his password to access his
mail files KOU or..."
-: Funny statement... poor User all-
will still remain a CAMEL, even if he
this password was not communicated to this terrible ki-
to Thai "KOU":
- So, you can testify, but you must-
wives to warn you that we do not bear responsibility for
responsibility, then for your safety.
- Oh, how can that be?
- There is no guarantee that you will no longer-
who hasn't been told this.
- But I didn't say...
- Tell me, and then we’ll find out...
"... In exceptional cases, if the address
unknown, affixed by the submitter..."
-: Oh, now we’ve come to bribes! I take pi-
vom, PLEASE PLEASE - I’ll tell you everyone’s addresses!
And now just a hilarious piece of text:
...
CONFLICT SITUATIONS AND THEIR SOLUTION
Will be reviewed in the future
and edited
(-: Why not do this right away???)
Inability to transfer mail file.(-: Or in scientific language: NETWORK IM-
POTENCE)
If when formatting the mail file name
or header in a TEX file...
(-: Funny, one letter is missing, but which one
the word worked! From now on I offer text-
call these files TEX - like se-
that slang, huh?!)
- attempt to communicate with the BBS when it is not working for it
time;
(-: It’s funny, but this happens)
Sending correspondence that is obviously insignificant
to existing recipients in order to overload the network;
(-: Well, here you are bent. Even the most
an evil user will not do this for a reason
that he will have to suffer for it later
live a tidy sum for telephone services
gi)
- connection to the server in hooligan networks
Poles;
(-: Funny again! Well, how can you
engage in hooliganism in CDOS? Isn't it
what to throw disk kill...)
- use of obscene language in
external and general purpose files.
(-: Oh, well, just the charter of the pioneers of 1962)
- behavior that goes against accepted standards
most moral standards.
(-: And this, in my opinion, is from the Criminal Code -
sa (which I honor). We must understand how
drinking alcoholic beverages,stewing bulls on
monitor and inserting them into the drive slot,
description of the power supply (itself and
quiet - 220v) and does not appear on servers
sober messages like: We drink here!)
- occasional use of obscene language
expressions in external and general-name files
meanings.
(-: Arny, where did you roll this up?! It’s so painful-
but it reminds me of the Criminal Code, maybe we’ll also get a sentence
assign (from three to five)?)
Preventive measures.
(-: I'm starting to sweat...)
- When discussing and analyzing cases, inappropriate
rect behavior, biased and humiliating
No negative attitude towards violators is allowed
(-: Hurray! Let's hold meetings and
glue disassembly:
- Freak, yes I love you. - SysOp swung at
User's chair.
- Let's not hit yet! - The chief tore the chair out of
SysOp's hands - we are only discussing, let alone
then...
In general, that's all. I hope you're not too much
They were offended at me for my banter. If you have
If you have any questions or suggestions for me,
please write letters (or CONTACT
with my VOICE ;)). Good luck everyone, I hope more
see you (if Arny doesn't grab me in
disassembly support, or S.S. will not apply
I'm wearing my black belt ;)).
July 25, 1997
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