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Hi! I buried Marazm early. Okay, let's resurrect :-). RIP I'm already
I won’t do it, it’s a useless exercise. Squeeze something out of yourself
then without any return I don’t want and won’t. It will be easy with Marazm'om
Well, if I have an idea and inspiration, I’ll release it. You can give back to yourself
press. Now I'm already enjoying it. You just talk more often
say “smart speeches”, and I, you can be sure, will make fun of
them to their heart's content.
Today I continue the series of Marazms about the inhabitants of the Minsk network.
Names and events, as always, are fictitious. Any coincidence is considered
be random...
Werewolves
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“So,” the speaker openly yawned, “today’s business did not bear-
There are no delays and therefore we will take a short break.
The audience sighed joyfully and rushed to the buffet, where already in the morning they were selling
there was beer. A small but very impudent guy in a cap, quickly
pushed the queue, while exclaiming: “Let me in! Yes, I’m still with
occupied yesterday,” or: “Hey, you redneck, where do you want your beer?
“You better get some air,” and so on. In general, he was as rude as he could.
Near Hamer's counter (and it was he), Werevol's hand intercepted
ves'a and put it behind her, - First, drink from mine, and then
climb. - Then turning to the barmaid Lena, he asked, - Darling,
three times eachtwenty.
“Vodka, at least fifty grams,” Lena’s eyes sparkled.
- Darling...
- I'm not your darling!
- Okay, Honey...
From behind, someone hit Werewolves on the ear.
- "Uho" - thought Werewolves.
“He’s the one,” thought the line.
“Citizen,” Werewolves bared his fangs, “you misunderstood me.”
nyali. I don't need vodka. Three for twenty is: three cases of beer,
twenty bottles each.
- We only delivered five boxes, if the queue doesn’t mind...
The queue was clearly against it, but sticking out from under the Werewolves' cloak,
two-handed sword and Lama with a piece of salted humane, forced the
It turns out that the archangels take only three, and not all five boxes.
“I don’t mind the queue,” Lama stated, paying for the day.
gami, received for the delivery of gold crowns, torn out the day before from
a certain ingloriously dead Moscow Sysop.
The line sighed joyfully when the archangels left. The rest-
Forty bottles were sold out in one moment. I just didn't get it
Specter and Freeman, who were late, wrote in public
toilet on the walls, faces on each other.
The third ring signaled the end of the break. Slightly tipsy
The crowds were taking their places. Only Specter was late. Free-
man, not having received the beer, stunned Specter with an empty bottle and with impossibility
he returned to the hall with a confused look.
- So... - Ivan looked around the hall, - Where are the Werewolf and Lama?!
- Those were the days of the veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and doorsI'll open it with a bang
A drunken couple was fighting and squabbling, loudly singing songs and advancing
on the feet of those sitting, began to look for their places.
- Drunk people have no place in the courtroom! - Ivan tried to be indignant.
- Who's drunk?! - Lama picked up Specter by the scruff of the neck, - are you drunk?!
- Drunk people have no place in the courtroom! - Werewolves repeated. Specter,
I broke the glass with my forehead and ended up on the street.
“Shh,” Lama put his finger to his lips, “drunk people have no place in the hall.”
court, - and then sat down in the vacant seat. Werewolves pro-
Then he collapsed on the floor next to him and snored loudly. The hall sighed with relief -
zero.
“So,” Ivan repeated the rather boring phrase, “today
we gathered to discuss... - Ivan took a long time to read why -
he gathered everyone today. Finally turning the paper over, he read,
- On the agenda: Fatality collapse. The floor is given to Ars'y.
On stage, smiling shyly and saying with all his appearance: “Well, how...”,
Arseny stood up.
- Hmm... - Senya cleared his throat, - In general, that’s it!
The audience applauded. Ars, encouraged by the success, continued.
- Citizens of Uzveri! Everyone has already pestered us with the question: Fata-
lity - must die, or Fatality - rulez forever. I'll tell you personally
that must die are those who say so. And rulez forever is me.
Stormy applause turning into standing ovation.
- Well... - Senya was embarrassed, - I actually can explain everything.
Well, first of all, let's take our oranizer: Kolya. I'm sorry it was all
don't care a long time ago, stillsince summer...
- Excuse me, - Werewolves raised his head, - but now, isn’t it yet
winter?!
“Shhh,” Lama put the Werewolf in his place, “don’t be a nuisance, otherwise you’ll benefit.”
nyat.
- So is it winter or summer now?! - Werewolves did not let up.
- Fatality is being judged now.
- Goats. - The werewolf fell asleep again.
“Well,” Ars continued, “now Kolyai is trading on the market
compacts and drinks every day.
“I’m friends with Kolya,” McMaker’s voice was heard.
- Exactly! - Senya raised his finger up, - Exactly, Makormik, in my opinion
I wasn’t in Fatality, or rather, if I was, I worked as an alkanaut and
part-time muzaker.
- Excuse me, but Alkanaut, what is this, a profession? - a voice rang out
Diena Jr.
- Alkanaut, this is a state of mind! - McMaker stated proudly.
If you want to be an Alkanaut,
then you should drink vodka in the entrances.
Keep other people's money quiet
And drink on them, and drink and drink!
- the voice of the rhymer Brom was heard.
The hall thundered with applause and shouts of “Encore!” Brom confused-
but smiling, he declared: “Writing poetry is not at all difficult. But
rhyming is a bit boring." After which, abandoned with flowers and un-
Kissed by who knows, he sat down in his place.
“This is a retreat,” Ars barked menacingly, “to Fatality in no way—
does not apply at once. Now Mast... - Senya splashed out of the glass
water and poured beer, - So, Mast. Why Mast, that he is the only one who made
barks, he's too lazyand not a coder...
- How would you like to understand your last words? - was heard from
someone's obscene voice came from the audience.
- So understand! No Kolya - no Masta as a coder. But how
musician...
A weighty slap and a cry were heard in the hall: “I rolled my lip! We’ve already
Masta was the first to invite!” The fight was quickly hushed up and was never resolved.
wondering who started it.
- Here... - Ars finished his beer and looked at the serenely sleeping
go between the rows of Werewolves, - The werewolf, according to him, half a year
he doesn't draw anything...
- I protest! - Lama pulled out a long dagger from the knife, - If we-
rewolves is sleeping, this does not mean that you can insult him!
- Did I say something wrong? - Ars was scared.
“We, artists,” Lama made a significant pause, “nothing.”
RIM, WE DRAW, WE CREATE! Our coders are drawing, - Lama looks angrily
zeroed towards Tankard, - So I’ll ask...
- Okay, okay! I agree,” reassured Lamy, Ars, “What for does he care?”
draw... Sorry! Draw, if no one draws anything anyway
encodes?!
Near the sleeping Werewolf, from somewhere unknown, a sign appeared
with the inscription: "FOR_SALE".
- What kind of jokes! - Roared, breaking the sign, the awakened Werewo-
lves, - I am a free artist! I'll write everyone and leave!
“Free, free,” Lama began to reassure again, “only
don't make noise.
- They got it right here, you understand! - Werewolves grumbled and closed more tightly
returning to his cloak, he fell asleep again.
- Really! - Confirmed by Ars, - Chancesthere are none, because
no TEAM. And she won’t appear again, it’s already 1998! Yes
There’s nothing else for me to do here. - Having finished his speech, Ars proudly
went to his place.
- And RIP?! - They screamed from all sides, - RIP where did they hit?!
- I won’t do it without Werewolves, but he gave up on it!
- Score the GUDA!!! - Angry voices were heard.
- But, but! - Lama threw the bottle towards the screaming people, - Here he is -
No, then forget it... If you're tired of living.
- And what ? - The angry voice of GIVer was heard, - he from us all -
Calls them scumbags...
The menacing roar did not allow me to finish. Having torn the cloak, Werewolves jumped up
I stood on my feet and slowly began to draw my sword. Panic began in the hall
Everyone looked at Lam'y. He alone could calm the furious
new Werewolf.
“Denis,” Lama said softly, “no need.” We just paid
ransom for all our "pranks". Go underground again?
- I'm already sick of this phrase!
- Well, say it from the rostrum... and leave the sword to me...
“Okay, it’s time for me to explain myself,” Werewolves stuck
a huge sword, into the parquet and climbed onto the podium.
- About the Scumbags, - The werewolf looked hard at GIVer, -
Our network is not frostbitten, but DEAD. Maybe you have an argument-
you, what is this not so?! Five active users on the network - this is
that modem owners are already over 30?!
It was clear from GIVer’s face that he would like to object, but gloomily
my view from the podium, nottolerated objections.
- Decided to leave by loudly slamming the door? - Finally squeezed out GIVer.
- Another stupidity! What kind of asshole came up with this?! You don't
the first one to tell me this. I'm not going to give up Spec.
- Then don’t write such messages! Or label them somehow so that
know that you don't need to download it.
- Which ones?! - Werewolves came stronger and stronger
rage from such attacks.
- You always predict the death of Speck...
The phrase was spoken. A sharp blade pierced GIVer's chest.
- This will happen to everyone who does not carefully read my messages, and
makes such INCORRECT conclusions, - Werewolves quickly jumped off
stands and pulled out a sword from the parquet. Lama, with a sigh, loaded the bullet
meth Tankard took out a chainsaw from under the chair...
“God, I’m so tired of dying,” flashed through Ivan’s brain.
“Werewolf, because of you we will have to live in the swamps again,” with
clicking the shutter, Lama smiled, “I won’t say that I
I especially regret this... - the barrel looked towards Mas-
Well, you'll just have to buy mosquito repellent again.
The chainsaw started up with a howl, and the first heavy blow of the meat was heard.
Nice sword and finally the machine gun chirped merrily...
Happy End
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