Introduction - just recently I decided to count the amount that I drank in my entire unconscious life...

Marazm #5 ╞═════════════════════════╝
                                                - Drinking is a sin...
                                               (instead of an epigraph)

 Well... Now I feel good! So where... ugh, what is this about?
me? I'm all about beer! You know, just recently I decided to count,
the amount I drank in my entire unconscious life...
 The first time I became acquainted with this noble drink was in those days...
light, cloudless times when Werewolves was small and
smart little guy. I was about five years old... yes, yes, my daughters
horny! Even then I was “pouring down the collar”, but really Milk and Tea.
It was my passion for tea that let me down. At some celebration, I for-
I wanted to wet my throat. Mistaking beer for tea (fortunately their color is
identical) I grabbed the cut glass and drained it in one gulp. Not that,
so that I would immediately turn around... At first I realized WHAT I DRINKED. Then I
I became scared that my dad would scold me for emptying
his glass... But then I felt light and happy... In general, we
we have the first 200 grams.
 Then a break of six to seven years. When my adolescence
began to cross all boundaries, I began to get carried away with women... Par-
Don, this undoubtedly mind-blowing story: how I became
man, we’ll leave it out for now... Those were still those days! I can
I'm surprised that I still saw the times when beer cost 45 kopecks. Naturally
no matter whatwhat's the excuse, fat women behind the counter, let's have some beer
they didn't want to sell. But there were always good uncles who had
permanent, radical blue, nose color. It is they who, for rent,
in the amount of 10 kopecks, they bought us precious moisture. For life
I will remember the taste of real “Zhigulevsky” beer! The current, so-
It's NOT that I'm just silently indignant. Then I devoured this
“balm for wounds” mixed with “Agdam” (for those who don’t know,
I'll open my eyes. It was the most advanced ink at that time.
It cost something like a ruble and at the same time was the most popular
Buchenwald! People bought it in boxes (my dad did exactly that!))
Back then I didn’t know how to appreciate alcohol for its taste. Has always been important
the end result, you mean when it became, what’s in the brain, what’s in
ass - the same thing.
 According to the most conservative estimates, minus wine, vodka, tube
"Phoenix" glue, a couple of dozen "wheels" and... no, then I still had this
I haven’t tried it... I put in about 80 bottles (on tap then
it was hard to get). So by the time I was 14 I raised the bar to 40
liters and 200 grams ;).
 Then SHE came close. Nobody called her, it was so good without her
that many became teetotalers with her arrival. Yes! I got stuck and
locked Gorbachev with her. Guess who SHE is? Yeah, I have
but it is, PERESTROYKA. Back then I already considered myself a mature dude. Us-
by that time, having cut his veins for the first time, served a fewonce in the support and.... it doesn’t matter. Beer has gone up in price. But I have grown up too!
They have already started giving me... ugh, not in the sense of women, but in the sense of pi-
va in stores. I will never forget how my friend and I last
At her desk they were filtering beer through a straw, which was in a three-liter bottle.
nke stood between us in the briefcase. And what a joke it was when we
They spotted and took away the dumbfounded ones, with straws in their hands and an empty three-
a liter bottle in the director's bag. Our happiness is that we have a reputation
God forbid both were! The headmistress slapped us with another warning.
Denying and holding back her choking laughter, she sent both of them home - sent away -
sweat.
 Then Khabza shouted! Oh, it seemed to me then that SO I was no longer
where I won’t drink. They drank often, but in small quantities. It was there that I purchased
hardening It was already difficult to knock me down with a three-liter bottle. According to the most
According to conservative estimates, at that time I had already consumed 300 liters (and 200
gram ;)). It even becomes scary... But nevertheless, it is so.
 Let's skip a couple of years. At this time terrible things were happening, about which
I don't want to mention anything...
 But then a ray shone! I ended up in a theater... So endless,
I have never experienced a blissful buzz. There beer flowed like a river.
Weekly parties, holidays, presentations and just gray sums -
The early days were filled to the brim with this drink. For me, all
this period is associated with one big crazy - endless
drunk. There I met so many interesting people thatYou can’t even remember them all. But that's it! Every single one! People of art -
biggest consumers of alcohol. I was convinced of this once and for all
always! The holidays lasted until there was booze, not only
not on the tables, but also in the bar and even in the neighboring store!!! Hmm...
I don’t even dare to calculate the displacement there - I’m afraid to name the fan-
tastic figure.
 Perhaps someone reading all this will consider me a complete drunk
but I assure you, I am quite a LIGHT DRINKER! But I have a passion for beer
will not disappear until the last breath (even if it causes it)
noah).
                              But it all started with 200 grams...