Let's smile - Connecting a water pistol to the ZX-SPECTRUM. Bus (woman's monologue).

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(C) FREEMAN MDM 257-91-84
                                          
 CONNECTING THE WATER GUN      
             To PC ZX-SPECTRUM             
 --------                 
                                          
   Hello dear PC users
ZX-SPECTRWM !  It's time to talk about
connecting professional devices,
popular on many computer platforms
swing, which facilitate the passage of many
games and bring a lot of joy to our homes. And
perhaps the most interesting and charming
The main device is a WATER GUN,
that's what we'll talk about today...       
   So - WATER GUN.  Remember yours
childhood. Remember your neighbor's unhappy face
Aunt Klava, who found on the door this morning
the handle of your apartment, stretched by you
condom. Or disfigured by the remains of a ku-
Rina's face is always dissatisfied with something
grandmother Afdotya, who again came to Va-
neck to mom screaming “Yoursthe brat is again
gave me all sorts of shouting from the balcony!!!"
you can’t explain to this elderly mademois
It’s a good thing that eggs are not “bad” at all, but useful
strategically important weapon, inflicting
gives the enemy a considerable psychological
damage  You can't explain that all her troubles are from
because you didn't have a WATER GUN
!!!  But times change, our wonderfulness is gone
childhood, but then WATER PISTOS appeared
YEARS and this gift of God must be used
(at least based on humane considerations)
in relation to neighbors!)...          
   In general, having carefully studied the architecture
PC features ZX-SPECTRWM and purpose
microprocessor signals Z-80, I use
went to a stunning result: PC
ZX-SPECTRUM HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE COMPATIBLE
TIM WITH A WATER GUN!!! Moreover, the pain
Most programs already have built-in
driver that allows seamless pro-
walk through challenging levels effortlessly!
Imagine: You gently take the WATER
PISTOL, point it at the screen then
the place where the enemy moves and SPLASH,
SPRAY him right in the face! The enemy believed
wives - this is signaled by the absence of an image
lesions, the presence of a fetid odor of burnt
the enemy's socks and...however it may seem-
smoke (It is even possiblefire!). Ur-r-ra!!!
Now calmly put down the WATER GUN
aside, change the monitor and prepare-
move on to the next stage...                
   That's it. "Where is the diagram of this miracle-
new device??!!!” you shout, feverishly
happily moving this text down. "But
she, darling!!!" - I will answer, revealing to you
long-awaited picture:                     
                                          
 ELECTRICAL DIAGRAM, NON-PRINCIPALb,   
 EMPLOYEE FOR INFORMATION AND CONNECTION 
   -V-O-D-I-N-O-G-O P-I-C-T-O-L-E-T-A-   
 (C) FREEMAN'97               
                                          
                   ***                    
                                          
PC _______________________WATER 
ZX-SPECTRUM GUN
                                          
                   ***                    
                                          
 Description of the circuit operation:          
The connection of the WATER GUN is made by
using distribution busbar
water type ShRA-4 with rated current not me-
250 A, as well as a power box type
YaVZ-34-1 with Ih.ya.=450 A, Ib.s.=650 A. Also
it is possible to replace the distributionshinop-
line to the main line or, at worst,
nets, to a trolley line with a busbar
type ShTA-272 at Ih.=1750 A. Although in this
In this case, you will have to recalculate the size of the corner
steel taking into account the permissible stress loss
according to the formula: delta U (%)=m*l, where      
 m=0.06 %/m;                           
    l-distance from attachment point
    supply line to the most distant
    contour of the trolley line (in this
    case - from PC ZX-SPECTRUM to WATER
    PISTOL).                           
 ____                   
                                          
   Signal MREQ* (this is a very tricky signal with
no less cunning form of phase modulation
using a damping strobing signal in
moment the microprocessor waits for non-masked
controlled interruption in HOLD_ON mode! and,
of course, the computer's power supply is turned on
yuter) of the microprocessor is connected to
busbar assembly using electric gas welding
ki.  The other end of the busbar is attached to
WATER PISTOL in the same way and lowered-
the water tank is about 1/2 full,
so as not to interfere with pressing the feed button
water from the gun out.                 
   That's all, all that remains is to add that
WATER control driverWITH A PISTOL
extremely simple and accessible even to the user:       
                                          
 LD DE,(28912)  ;To the interrupt register  
 RL H  ;we load the data 
 XOR B  ;data from the exchange port
 HALT  ;data.           
                                          
 GOOD LUCK!               
                                          
 ------------------------------------   
                                          
(w) FREEMAN MDM 257-91-84
                                          
 BUS                  
 (Woman's monologue)             
 ***                    
                                          
   Grandmothers, let me in! Let me squeeze in
bus! (Tries to move his knee forward
ed).  Take your leg off! How to where? Out.
The ceiling is free! You yourself are psycho-
Naya! And nowyou guys... (Wiggles,
comes up with more and more new tricks to
move the body forward). Well, a little more!
Hey, let's go! I'm not bad! I'm trying to find a month
then more freely. I know that the bus is not pre-
condom!                                 
   Man, dear, I stand on one but-
hey!  What ?! Birds can spend hours? Here comes the le-
Thai with birds!  Woman, come on, take it away
chest - I can't breathe! Where ? Don't know.
There, the driver's cabin is free. Man,
what did you use to press down my shoes? Battery-
torus?! Wow! Would you still kill the tank?
ruzili!  And you, citizen, lower the movie
sting - press straight into my spine. C
They don’t carry weapons in public transport. Oh, this is lo-
cat? Then fatten him up so that people don't
crippled... Don't teach me - I do this all the time
life ride!  Look, lady! Don't like it-
buy a Mercedes or run like a bunny. Citizen
Dana, skip to the middle. I'm a snake
like a snake... Did the buttons fly off? And what do-
cancer gets on the bus with buttons? B
trousers? You need to keep your fly on the bolts!
What  ?! Close the mitten yourself! Just a little more.
Now, life has become better, life has become more fun.
Oh, how smart! I can't crawl around
Lu- not adapted!  Just a little more...
Man, if you remove your belly, I will advance
further. How is this not removed? Stand on
Chicks, take a deep breath...             
   What month are you in?pregnancy? You
Don't poke me! What ?! Prostitute?! Yes I am
I haven't been with anyone for a hundred years! The fool himself! Give
move away from this idiot... Save-
Bo, it’s immediately obvious that he’s an intelligent person.
Can we pass each other? Like this, face to face
tsu... (Smiled.). What a nice cologne
womb!.. Like Siamese twins, right? Oh,
something is in the way. Put the hammer away, otherwise
spanking your thigh... Not a hammer? Well, another one
tool.  Not a tool?  So what?
(She lowered her hand down and immediately back.
Amazed, can't say a word
long pause). Oh, mommies!!! Wow
!  Man, what are you allowing yourself to do?!
Yes, I'm going to the police now!!! There was still not enough
bus get pregnant! What will I say baby
Whoa, who's the dad - city transport?!
Stop it now!.. Involuntarily? In the very
in fact?.. Yes, for this!.. For this... For
this... (It became warmer. She lowered her hand down,
gently strokes the thigh.). Dear, no
apologize.  Where are you from?  Newcomer? I
I've been choking on buses for so many years... True,
worry?  Repeat please.  Thank you.
It turns out I can still excite someone?
Did you even like it? Man, where are you?
new?  Nowhere? And it's not far from me
There is a cozy room... Maybe we can go out?
(Yelling).  Well, let the woman through unnecessarily
false case!!! (He leaves, taking with him
man...)                   

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