Talents - Notes of a crazy SysOp.

                                          
┌---------------------------------------
│░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ TALENTS ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
└-------------------------------------------------------
                                          
 (C) SpaceS
                                          
   After reading the sentence in LPRINT#8
Werewolves'a try your hand at
writing genre", I decided slightly
wander about one of the topics he suggested.
I want to say right away that by writing
I've never seen things like this before
I didn’t study, so I beg you not to
throw rotten tomatoes at the monitor,
cucumbers and other nasty things. If you
you'll like my essay at least a little bit,
then you can send me something by mail
/by email or regular mail, but
the main thing is that your parcel does not carry
threats to my only life/.          
   And also /most important/: ALL COINCIDENCES
COUNT PROPER NAMES AND DENIAL NAMES
RANDOM!!!!                           
 P. S.  Dear users! Don't judge
this work is too strict, believe me: I
tried as hard as I couldcan try
do something good mentally ill
man.                                  
                                          
 *** Notes of a crazy Sysop ***    
                                          
 - Where is our prosecutor?
                  - In the sixth ward, where 
                    Napoleon used to be...
                                          
 X/f "Caucasian
captive"
                                          
                                          
   May 17, 199X.                      
   Today I bought a modem from FARS.  Hooray!
Now I can... uh... with this thing I
I can... in general, I can do a lot of things.         
                                          
   May 20.                                
   I've been a user for four days now
ZX-NET.  But I'm not with anyone yet
I connected with CONNECT because I don’t know what it is
this and how it should be done.              
                                          
 May 21.                                
   All!  I'm sick of it! I will be a Sysop! I even
On a whim I came up with "RAMA"!Now it's time
for a trifle: you need to learn how to install a computer
in the server pose!  But this is already a trifle
compared to inventing your own
pseudonym.                               
                                          
   May 23.                                
   I am a SysOp!  True, I still have users
they haven't called yet, because I don't have
phone.  And even if there was, they
They wouldn't know my number. I'm nobody
except for FARS, he didn’t tell me about my purchase. But
these are little things...                             
                                          
   May 25.                                
   I sold it at some flea market today
grandma his brand new 600th MERCEDES for
300 $, and with this money I bought myself a phone
/with a qualifier! /                       
                                          
 May 26.                                
   No matter how hard I tried to connect the phone to
nothing worked for the computer. Doesn't work!
That's why I recently sold my 4-room apartment
apartment in the center of Minsk, and for these
spent the funds on his dacha/in
California/100-number telephone line
ditch Well, I think now everything will be OK!  
                                          
   May 27.                                
   Everything is OK, but users still don't
they're calling. What to do???May 29.                                
   Yesterday (28th) no one called again,
that's why I took certain steps today
measures to eliminate this phenomenon. Phew!
Well, I suffered! You should run around with me
 May 26.                                
   No matter how hard I tried to connect the phone to
nothing worked for the computer. Doesn't work!
That's why I recently sold my 4-room apartment
apartment in the center of Minsk, and for these
spent the funds on his dacha/in
California/100-number telephone line
ditch Well, I think now everything will be OK!  
                                          
   May 27.                                
   Everything is OK, but users still don't
they're calling. What to do???                     
                                          
   May 29.                                
   Yesterday (28th) no one called again,
that's why I took certain steps today
measures to eliminate this phenomenon. Phew!
Well, I suffered! You should run around with me
throughout the capital, and even with a bag the size of
three of me, chock-full of advertisements
content: "People! Young sysop
attractive appearance, almost without
bad habits is looking for user partners
for intimate and interactive conversations. Time ra-
bots: daily from 23:30 to 2:00. Tele-
background: 27272-72/green with brown pipes-
coy/". I wrote the word "intimate" purely
for girls. Perhaps, I think who will take the bait...  
                                          
   May 30.                                
   They took the bait!  Zhenya called and said that
really wants me... to see me today on the flat
Have mercy Nez$#@!  @$%&ty to meet you
closer.  Oh, Zhenechka, I want you so much too
wow.....see there!                       
                                          
 May 31.                                
   Ooooh! Barely got up to sit down
comp.  How the anus hurts! If anyone
I knew how much it hurt me! And it's all the computer's fault.
ter!  It's him, damn it! It's his fault I'm
these stupid announcements! Yesterday I was at Zhe-
nechki", and instead of a nice girl whom
I wanted to see, I saw it very un-
nice guy!  Goat! It's okay now
at least I’ll know what “blue love” is
oh my god!                                    
                                          
   June 2.                                
   Blue love still makes its presence felt
know. In addition, another 30 people called
Zhenechek with similar proposals. But not
I am as simple as I seem! And one guy
I actually thought that it was me having “TEX SEX”
LEFON"! Well, it has to come to this -
Xia!  I decided to teach this freak a lesson and appoint
I read to him and one of mineZhenechek's date
in the same place where the first one called me
Zhenechka. HA-HA-HA! I wonder which of these...
will it come out?                                
                                          
   June 3.                                
   Someone called in a hoarse, quiet voice
whispered, “What jokes you have...” I, co-
Of course, I didn’t understand anything and hung up,
without waiting for him to do it. And pol-
there were no callers...                
                                          
   June 4.                                
   Eat  !!!  A stranger called and said
"I am a user!"  It’s interesting what had to be done
bark me? And what did he need? Through mi-
about five the call again, the same call again
los: "Well, where is your server?"             
   "Where? Where? In Karaganda!" - I yelled with
anger, because I didn’t know what anger was
ver.                                      
   -Why are you angry? - he asked     
   -I'm not angry! Just "you say"
you tell me what you need, what you need, maybe
I’ll give you something, maybe I’ll give you whatever you want!” - I sang
habit.                                 
   -Are you a stutterer? Here I can’t restrain myself at all
complained:                                    
   - Fuck you......                    
                                          
   June 5.                                
   The user called again, and after a quiet
conversation/timewhich I almost
chewed the phone receiver / I finally found out
from him that when the server is running in the phone
there must be some kind of
squeak indicating transmission or reception
information. O.K. We'll try tomorrow.       
                                          
   June 6.                                
   Today I trained all day: I ran
around the dacha and squealed, yelled and made various noises
sort of squeals.   Finally, my voice broke.
“RAMA_OFF”, I thought and began to feverishly-
gargle thoroughly, don’t hesitate for a minute
stopping to squeal.                         
                                          
   June 10.                               
   I'm cured. But the neighbors have already decided that
I'm crazy, because after my illness I
I never stopped training for a minute.  
                                          
 June 11.                               
   The user called again.  I, dashingly
I grabbed the phone and wrote into it: "PEEP-PEEP--
PEEP-PEEP!" And so on all night long.    
                                          
   June 12.                               
   My user called again. This time he
wanted to thank me for yesterday
I gave him such cool toys to download."
What the hell are toys?" - I thought, but
didn't say anything out loud.June 13.                               
   Today the users really annoyed me. And from-
where did they come from? You won't have time to hang up
put it down when the call rings again. STOP! What
there was a car driving up to the house? And the dog with
her! And I grabbed the phone again and, as usual,
ke began to squeak loudly at her: "
PPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII½]                          
   -Yes-ah-ah!   Difficult case!  -said
someone standing behind me.         
   I turned around sharply and turned green from
fear: the head physician stood in front of me
sanatorium "NOVINKI" with two hefty
kids in snow-white robes. I never did
managed to download "MORTAL" to users
KOMBAT-2"....                             
   -Aaaaaaaa!  - burst out from me when I
was already lying on a stretcher, his legs bandaged
to the head with bandages, tourniquets, women's
stockings and everything else possible.         
   Well, neighbors!  If I get out of there alive
/which I very much doubt/, then you will not be able to-
roar....                                
                                          
 *THE END*                  
                                          
 SPACES>  If anyone is not too lazy
continue, then I don't mind. In that case
TO BE CONTINUED....                       
 LPR>  Well, the ice has broken. Readers
began to send their works themselves
inferior in gags to works
unforgettable Werewolves.