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┌─────────└──────╨─STORYZ── ╨────╨──╨────────┘────────┐
│ Memoirs of a lamer who imagines himself to be a hacker II. │
└────────────────────────── ──────────────────────────┘
Once upon a time, one lamer (let's call it LLL) worked in one
children's and youth organization head of the computer department.
LLL himself was a member of this organization shortly before these events
(it would be more correct to say - a club) as a member, and so on
in the end I began to work in this kohtopke at the suggestion
boss LLL loved to joke around. Loved him very much. But with
a certain style - an atmosphere of fun. So - in his
subordinate were: the chief's car 286, and even a certain
Russian computer TURBO 8bxM, with a flashing monitor that stood
directly in the computer department. They actively came to the department
engage members of this children's club, but LLL did not want to
bother to train these individuals, and they simply played on
the above-mentioned Russian computer.
LLL was bored and decided to have fun. He cameearly
to the club, tied one end of the telephone wire to a nail,
stuck behind the table, and stuck the other end of the wire into the case
computer system unit, and tied it with a knot from the inside, so as not to
accidentally jumped out. When senior officers (members of the club) came to the department
at the oldest age (14~18), but one year younger than the oldest
LLL, LLL told them that from his friends, cool programmers
found out that on the computer they love to play on
installed, or rather stitched into the ultra-high-speed motherboard
military system modem. The presence of this valuable artifact in such
run-down car was explained by the fact that these computers
were manufactured for the military, but for conversion purposes were transferred to
children's institutions, but they forgot about modems. In general, there was a bias
that the coolest thing about this car is the modem, oh
the characteristics of which are not mentioned anywhere. The guys who
LLL stubbornly rubbed it all in, they were dummies. Of course they could
create/kill directories and files, and even break money in
cumtayhe first, in general they were rather averagely qualified
users, and were happy about this event, and immediately
launched a certain terminal, which essentially told them that
there is no modem, to which LLL slyly flashed his eyes and said,
that the modem is NON-STANDARD, and that the corresponding terminal is
will bring this week fromthe same mysterious cool friends
programmers. And while the brethren began to play further, LLL went
into the office of the head of the club, and okkynupobab climbed into his car
pascal. There he began to write this very terminal. Understandable
thing, this terminal only pretended that it was a terminal, but
this look was so impudent that it looked like the truth. In a couple
days the first version was finished. When unsuspecting
the young men came once again to the computer department, LLL with
proudly pulled the floppy disk out of his pocket and said that he had found it
terminal. The floppy disk was inserted into the computer and the terminal
was immediately launched, saying that the car had a cool
modem It responded the same to all keyboard inputs:
"Unknown command" I answered in Russian, because LLL took care
about guys who don't know English. So, having pushed the place
in front of the keyboard, LLL sat down in front of the monitor, and typed the command:
"CALL 73789" (not sure what phone number
was exactly like that, but something like that). In a second
the computer without making a single sound (connection attempts, etc.)
issued a message that this number was answered by voice, and the modem
not on the other end). then LLL, wrinkling his forehead, said, what if: and
introduced the command “IDENTIFY TELEPHONE
ROOMS WITH A MODEM." Oddly enough, the terminalswallowed this one
command without choking, and began to sort out the
screen five-digit numbers, sometimes leaving a line with which
or number, and jumping to the next one to continue
overkill When scanning from 11111 to 99999 has finished,
there was a list of numbers on the screen that looked very much like a list
BBS telephones, which hung in LLL's office. LLL did
round eyes, and enthusiastically began to look first at the screen, then at
list joyfully exclaiming that the system correctly identified everything
phones having a modem on the other end, and there it is
proof - everything matches!!! The guys were also happily surprised
this fact, but the enormous speed with which the “military modem
system installed on this computer" scanned all
99999 numbers were not given any importance, which is what LLL was counting on.
What a shame! When trying to call a specific
phone from the list, a sad message was displayed on the screen that
the modem on the other side, alas, does not want to connect via
for an unknown reason (obviously, LLL was not going to write on
Pascal emulator for entering each BBS - long, tedious, and
thankless task). The fact that it is impossible to log in to any
BBS depressed the young comrades who began to feel like hackers,
however, there was still some interesting object for hackers
experiments, namely, inlist of phones identified as having
modem, in addition to the BBC phones there was one more number, opposite
which had a mysterious inscription: “MILITARY MODEM DETECTED
SYSTEMS". Council of young hackers under the leadership of LLL (chief
the joke of which was prepared just for this number)
decided to make a call there too. Oddly enough, the terminal
replied that the connection had taken place, and the cleared screen displayed
broken inscription "enter password: _". Nobody knew the password
even LLL. Entering any values ended after three attempts
by disconnecting. And the young hacker society is disappointed
started playing with all sorts of toys, and LLL ran to the car
boss - upgrade the terminal ;). Of course, no one
I guessed that LLL is the author of this terminal.
The next day, LLL said that his friends were cool
The programmers learned some additional terminal commands.
And the hacker council continued its experiments. When it comes again
When it came to entering the password, LLL entered the following: “/>/ SELECT CODE.”
The mysterious characters "/>/" meant that this line
is intended for a hacker's terminal, not a password. On
a window busily popped up on the screen, in which mysteriously
move through seven letters. With bated breath, the hacker society
looked enchanted at this heavenly act, and when the first letterfrom
those being sorted out stopped at “M” and everyone groaned in unison. Soon and
the second letter was "picked up". In short, after 30 seconds the password
was identified: "MWD2654". WOW!!! - everyone exclaimed in unison.
And LLL mysteriously clicked the keyboard, entering this word. Polse
ENTERa the screen went dark and the text began to appear:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MAGADAN BRANCH OF THE COMPUTER NETWORK OF THE MIA OF RUSSIA
User: Eroshin Dmitry Stepanovich
Rank: Major of the Ministry of Internal Affairs
Security level: 4
WELCOME TO THE SYSTEM
Advertisement #224
We remind you that all level 4 employees are required to
Friday to attend a meeting regarding issues related to
American satellite that fell in our area
spy."
Advertisement #225
On Monday, at 18:07 for employees of Chgo level and above
go down to the laboratory for another demonstration of the new
laser As a task, the laser will need to pierce steel
meter thick in 0.003 seconds.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LLL thought that he had gone overboard with the laser, but
I was surprised to find all the young hackers sitting with their mouths open,
which were heard squeaking like: “Oh God!!! we got into
secret government network!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When appeared on the screenmenu:
1. WORKING WITH A COMMUNICATION SATELLITE
2. GLOBAL POPULATION DATA FILE
3. TOP LEVEL BANKING OPERATIONS
4. EXIT
Everyone gasped. Hacker council truncated itself to four
a person actually senior for reasons of secrecy
They kicked the juniors out of the office. LLL was accepted as honorary head
club.
What a shame. None of the first three menu items
wanted to be carried out, citing the fact that the network is now at
refurbishment All that was left to do was get out. All that day
the youth club felt an aura of mystery and significance
computer department. How many rumors were spread
expelled from the hacker council by very young members. LLL
deliberately left home early so that on the way how
you should squeeze in. The next day he was again sitting at
boss's computer, where none of the members could see him
youth organization, and pascalil-pascalil-pascalil. On the same
day he reappeared in the computer department, where a
the big three people from the hacker committee. The troika told
LLL, that she tried to call “that” phone by voice, and that
Some guy answered the phone. LLL already thought it was a joke
opened up, but immediately found a way out: he rolled his eyes, and
hissed at them that how could they act so recklessly!!!
That they coulddetect, and that they did not hear the modem beeping on
the other end only because that modem only responds
another modem. The troika was very scared and promised to continue
be careful. But LLL decided not to forgive them for this and took this into account
new terminal update (by the way, no one knew that the terminal
updated because LLL took into account things like size and date
file creation). The next day the hackers
led by LLL, after logging into the system we saw the following
an announcement that plunged them into great fear:
====================================================================================
Ad #230:
TO ALL MAJORS: Tomorrow there will be a meeting regarding the attempt
unauthorized network access and detection plan
violator. We remind you that yesterday there was a call from an unknown number
a call was made to the gate to the secret network. For the reason
our administrator Dmitrienko failed to keep the contact short
determine the number from which the call originated.
Announcement #231:
Major Eroshiny urgently bring documents A345 to the general.
==============================================================================
Hmmm. Looking into the gray faces of the young hackers, LLL thought,
Did he go overboard with ad #230? However, the main feature
was prepared for announcement #231, because it barely came
to the menu, it fell out on the screenwindow notifying that
The network administrator wants to chat..
LLL had some artistic talent, for he
with a gray face and a breaking voice, he began to induce panic in
ranks of hackers. Hackers almost fainted:
OH GOD!!! HE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!! PUSH ON RESET!!!
But LLL took too long to program this historic
dialogue to allow it to be interrupted. He says in a trembling voice
said: "You can't!! He'll spot us"
In short, the chat has begun (it seems unnecessary to say that the letters in
the administrator's phrases were printed unevenly on the screen, creating
illusion, as if the text is being typed by a person, and that LLL
I memorized the entire dialogue:
ADMIN> Hello, Eroshin, how are you?
Lord!!! - the hackers cried - he takes you for that
Major Eroshin. Oh exactly!! - LLL said with relief, but I
the password of this same Eroshin. Answer quickly so he doesn't mind
I didn’t suspect - the youth were worried.
EROSH> Thank you, everything is fine, and you?
ADMIN> It’s okay too, don’t forget to take the documents to the general,
ADMIN> you know how much he doesn’t like being late
(don't forget about ad #231 :)
EROSH> Of course I won’t forget, by the way, why are the points closed
EROSH> menu?
Don't ask any questions!!! - the hackers hissed at LLL.
ADMIN> Because of that very attempt of illegal access. We are still
ADMIN> we are looking for nowviolator. However, satellite access tomorrow
ADMIN> will be opened.
EROSH> I see, okay, it's time for me to disconnect.
ADMIN> Bye..
> [CHAT ENDED]
For a whole minute there was dead silence in the office. Hackers
they looked at LLL with wide eyes, and he himself looked very tired and
He leaned back in relief and breathed heavily. Suddenly everything
started talking enthusiastically, congratulating LLL on winning this very
sensitive incident. Then everyone started smoking because
Everyone's nerves were tense to the limit. LLL was erected in
rank of saints. When everyone ran away to smoke, LLL began to laugh so much
like I've never laughed before.
But what happened the next day!!! And the next day LLL
In front of everyone, I entered the first menu item “WORK WITH CYTHUKOM COMMUNICATIONS”.
There were sub-items:
1) INFORMATION ABOUT SATELLITE
2) SATELLITE RESCHEMICAL
3) EXIT
LLL select the first item. The message "Poll" appeared
satellite", and after 10 seconds ridiculous characteristics appeared,
which LLL was able to come up with based on his limited knowledge of
space area. One parameter was funny: “Out of order
tenth solar battery module." The hackers were very scared
and began to understand that games with such things as a military satellite
very dangerous, and began to beg LLL to leave the terminal. "Now,
just a minute, I’ll just see what else is there,” and entered the second
item.
Portrayeda rather rough diagram depicting the site
land on which there were only three points. Hanging above this diagram
a dot representing a satellite. From one point on earth it came
dotted line to the satellite, and from it to another point, under
which had the inscription "Moscow Head Center". LLL here
"accidentally" pressed the button to the left, and the beam moved away from the Moscow
center. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S BETTER NOT!!!" - got worried
hackers. Don’t be afraid, I won’t confirm the command, LLL waved it off.
By the way, his face was so gray, and his breathing was just as rapid,
just like hackers. He aimed the beam at the second point, under which
The inscription "THE PENTAGON" lit up. Yes, this is too much!! -
said LLL, “I need to get out,” and instead of ESC I “accidentally” pressed
ENTER..
SENDING NEW COORDINATES TO THE SATELLITE......................100%
THE SATELLITE ROTARY HAS STARTED, WAIT!........................
The hackers, greatly frightened, ran out of the office. Stayed
one is the bravest. He saw how LLL howled at the top of his lungs, almost crying.
voice: "LORD!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!! LORD!! WHAT IS WITH ME
WILL BE!!!!"
...........................................................................
TURNING OF THE SATELLITE TOWARDS THE PENTAGON OBJECT IS COMPLETED.
START OF COMMUNICATION MODE.....
Connection established::
==============================================================
The PENTAGON online militaryNETSystem ASNЗЧx5
==============================================================
Who are you?!
Here y LLL “his nerves could not stand it”, and he pressed reset
jumped out of the office and told the hackers that more
will never hack anything. And the witness who remained with
LLL, during a “communication session with the Pentagon,” told young people about
Pentagon conn.
LLL was elevated to the rank of the devil, with whom everyone sympathized,
and who was admired by all members of the establishment, even those who
the idea should not have known anything, but they knew (because someone
one of the hackers liked to talk a lot). Only adults didn't know about it
club employees (for obvious reasons).
And LLL again sat down for another powerful update.
A week later LLL “got bold again” and decided again
call. Hackers also miss the high level
adrenaline in the blood. However, the terminal displayed the message that the phone
busy. Then LLL introduced another one, prompted by the same
friends cool programmers command: "LISTEN TO BUSY
LINE"
And the hackers saw a virtual secret meeting on the screen
intelligence members: (again, the symbols were displayed from
arrangement), and the dialogues took place in real time.
GENERL> What will Major Eroshin say about this?
EROSH> I think that we need to conduct a massive search campaign
EROSH> this hacker
Oh-oh!! -the hackers squealed, “LLL, they’re talking about you!!”
ADMIN> I have improved the security measures. However, it appears that the hacker has
ADMIN> military system modem. This is a very rare device. By
ADMIN> Ideally, you can calculate who their civilians may be
ADMIN> this is a device.
LLL "panicked"
GENERL> And yet it’s strange. We are five experienced employees
GENERL> we communicate here, and we can’t come up with anything worthwhile!!
ADMIN> You are mistaken, Comrade General, there are six of us here!!!
GENERL> How are the six? Well, count everyone!
ADMIN> I'm first
SCIEN> I'm second
Here one “hacker” with particularly weak nerves could not stand it, and
pressed reset, thus depriving the rest of the hackers of the great
the spectacle that LLL had in store for them.
I would like to stop here and say that everything
the above is only half of the completeness of the joke,
what LLL did. I didn’t have the strength to write about meetings with a secret
agent David Wolf, about how LLL was transferred to the Pentagon
encryption, about how a satellite session opened in the middle of Norton
communication, and how an electrical impulse is sent
special equipment of the Department of Internal Affairs burned the ill-fated military modem
system installed in the Russian computer TURBO 86M.
The modem "burned out" because LLL began to realize that it
the joke began to get somewhat out of control as rumors
othe great "hacker" began to leak into the Polytechnic, where
LLL studied in his free time from hacking military systems.
In short, the terminal with the source code was rpoxhyt, the wire was pulled out
from the computer. The only thing left is the frightened
"hackers" who for a long time whispered to LLL that
that "TODAY I WAS ROADING ON A BUS AND THEY WAS STARING AT ME
SOME BUG IN A POLICE UNIFORM!!! I THINK IT'S FOLLOWING ME
"WATCHING." LLL before leaving the youth organization they didn’t
He said it was all a joke.
Here's what you can do with pascal, telephone
wires and wild imagination.
;------
Note: All of the above is absolutely true.
;------
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