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Вот и наступило время приколов. Представляем
Вашему вниманию очередное 'чёрти что'......
Первым рассказом будет, как всегда, статья
Милёхина Игоря..........
written by Игорь Милёхин
РАЗМЫШЛЕНИЯ ОДНОГО СТОЛБА
Стою я тут и стою. Сколько можно. Сыро и на душе
паршиво. Поставили меня посреди тротуара, проводов
нацепляли - и стой. Скажу прямо - это свинство.
Стоять, в общем, принципиально я не отказываюсь, но
люди, создайте же условия, ёлки-палки. ГолубейIt's a dime a dozen. Any such beast will get drunk,
he sits on me and tries to shit himself. And with
dogs are a total disaster. Some madam will bring you
his poodle Artemon, will put him under me and so on
indifferently pushes him with his foot, come on, they say, let him go
hurry up while no one is there. Can you imagine when
Every red poodle pours out his soul for you! Shame ! C
drunk, whatever you say, it’s easier. Although they are also wet
they can get the job done, but they look at me like I’m
an assistant who supports them in difficult times. One
even talked to me while pretending
what keeps me from falling. He portrayed it
lousy, so Bobby came to pick him up with
bars on the windows. Well, with the cool ones, I’m like everyone else,
I try not to get involved. Look at my neighbor already
we ran into It WAS a beautiful jeep, but the neighbor also suffered,
although less than cool. And why are they like this on us?
misfortune?
One pacifan was walking here, reading a newspaper. Well,
should I leave, or what? So his forehead cracked. Scream
he raised it like that, why are you standing here like a bastard, etc. What
No matter what, it’s good for the border pillars. No one to them
doesn't cling. And if someone starts to run into you, then
instantly the border guards with machine guns are right there.
It’s okay, if I curry favor here, they’ll transfer me to the border, and
there and not far from abroad.
──────────────────────────────── ────────────────────────────────
And now a littlejokes from Dnepropetrovsk...
This article was sent to us by Evgeniy Shaturin, BIG SPA
A-A-A-SIBO............
A NEW RUSSIAN HAS DONE REPAIRS, INVITES HIS
RATE A FRIEND HE WENT, LOOKED AND SAYS
- EVERYTHING IS GOOD ONLY IN YOUR SECOND BATHROOM
THE TILE IS SOME SMALL AND BROWN.
OWNER:
- WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE
THEY ENTER THE BATHROOM THE OWNER SAYS:
- WELL READ WHAT IS WRITTEN ON THE TILE!!!
A FRIEND READS:
- Intel Inside. Pentium PRO
HA HA HA .THEY ARE ONLY GOOD FOR THIS...
OR LIKE THIS...
AND GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS LIKE, AND
LET HIM GO TO EARTH.
AFTER TIME A MAN COMES TO GOD AND SAYS:
- I WANT TO FUCK AT NIGHT
AND GOD CREATED HIM A WIFE...
AFTER TIME COMES AND SAYS:
- I WANT TO FUCK IN THE DAY
AND GOD CREATED HIS LOVER...
IN TIME COMES:
- I WANT TO FUCK BOTH DAY AND NIGHT
AND GOD CREATED Windows '95
HOW???
NOT BAD???
AND THE LAST...
A DRUNKEN HACKER IS CRAWLING AROUND THE STREET, BARELY DRAGING HIS LEGS.
ANOTHER COMES TO MEET HIM.
- LISTEN KOLYA YOU GOT CODED A WEEK AGO
???
- AND I...IK...YESTERDAY...IK...PICKED UP THE CODE...IK...IK
WELL THE LAST...
THE PROGRAMMER IS SITTING DEEPLY IN DEBUGGING...
SON COMES UP:
- DAD WHY DOES THE SUN RISE EVERY DAY?
IN THE EAST, AND SET IN THE WEST???
- YOU CHECKED THIS???
- CHECKED!
- DID YOU CHECK GOOD???
- FINE.
- WORKS ???
- WORKS.
- WORKS EVERY DAY???
- EVERY DAY !!!
- THEN FOR GOD'S SAKE, SON, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING,
DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING.........
IT'S GOOD TO BE A LIEUTENANT COLONEL AND UNDER A GENERAL TOO.
DON'T LIE FRIEND.
IT IS NOT EGGS THAT COLOR THE MAN, BUT THE MAN IS THE EGGS
NEW TAMPAX TAMPONS: IN EVERY HUNDREDTH PACK
SURPRISE FLAPPER
THE ENGINEER IS BEHIND THE TRAIN IN HIS DEVELOPMENT
BABU YAGA POMELOD TO THE SIDE
RELAY STANDS ARE NOT SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED
ELECTRICIST HAS ENOUGH THIRD-CLASS
THE SEXUAL MANIAC EVEN BROUGHT A CRIMINAL CASE
AIMLESS METAL STRUCTURE
COMMISSION "CASE FOR MINORS"
ON THE CARPET SHCHORS FOUGHT WITH VORS
FAMILY EPIC
STAGE 1. MY AFFORDING AND GENTLE
STAGE 2. MY AFFORDING AND GENTLE, BELIEVE
STAGE 3. MY!!!
STAGE 4. MY TENDER AND GENTLE BEAST
STAGE 5. MY BEAST
STAGE 6. BEAST
STAGE 7. FUCK THE ANIMAL
──────────────────────────────── ────────────────────────────────
written by Sergey Yanishevsky
brought to the editorial office by Andrey Dotsenko
edited by Fisher Illya
SPIES OF THE COMING CENTURY.
Russian FSB agent Ivanov (according to legend - a member
RUKH since 1980 Prikhodko) walked along a path alien to him
Ukrainian land. There was a hostile smell coming from the open windows.
lardThe authorities in Moscow, sparingly kissed him,
said: “Sorry, old man, there have been no salaries since the beginning of the year.”
it was. Hold on somehow. The most important thing: first
think about your Motherland, then about yourself." Worn-out boots
Didn't keep warm at all. I wanted to eat, drink and
give up reconnaissance to hell.
In the distance a cozy Ukrainian building appeared
counterintelligence. Ivanov resolutely stepped under the arches.
A handsome young major stood up to meet him.
- Hello, comrade! Where are you coming to us from?
- Ivanov. From Russia.
- Now... let's see. For some reason I have you on the list
I can't find any secret agents. Terrorist Petrov,
saboteur Sidorov, parachutist Koltsov, poacher
Fisher Illya, hackers Andrey Dotsenko and Milekhin
Igor. You are not here.
- And I'm completely secret.
- I have the top secret ones in another notebook.
Soooo. “There is Ivanov,” the major said joyfully. Password
didn't you forget?
- Forgot.
- As always. What would you do without us? Yours
password: do you still have 286 PCs?.. Why?
are you welcome? - continued the major.
- It’s really not smart for me to bother you... We need
drawings of a new Ukrainian tank. I wouldn't have you
bothered me... But I haven’t been able to draw since school.
- Don't be upset. In the technical department to you
They'll draw some kind of tractor.
- Yes, a bicycle will suit my boss. And one more thing
one thing: the secret protocol of the agreement with NATO.
- So he ispublished in newspapers, I was surprised
major.
- Our funding has been cut. Only "Red"
Star" and write it out.
Then a ruddy man from interrogation entered the room.
Lieutenant Colonel
“Hello,” he turned to the major. Who is this?
- Comrade from Russia.
- Wait, you were like an Armenian last year
did the agent come to us?
- You know what time it is now. Is it for one
will you survive the reconnaissance?
- Who else do you work for?
- To Kazakhstan, Chechnya, Khanty-Mansiysk
autonomous circle and, of course, to the prohibited
Russian newspaper GORODOK.
- Well, I wish you good luck.
Ivanov headed for the exit, but returned from the door.
- Sorry, you don’t know the best way for me to get there
on Saksagansky?
“Do you have a presence there?” the major asked understandingly.
- That's right. I have to pass on the 3rd number
TOWN.
- So it failed. But you can still come in.
There are hospitable guys in ambush there, they will feed you
necessarily. Let me note the business trip, but I have
a request to you. You will see our Fomenko...
- Yes, I know, he takes pictures of gas in Tyumen.
In addition, he also works part-time in the TOWN.
- So tell me that there are still funds for a new film
not approved.
Every other day, Agent Ivanov left the hospitable
Kyiv. There was a bundle of food on the table, carefully
collected by the guys from the ambush, gathering dust under the seat
drawings of the "AIST" bicycle, which shouldwere getting off
for the diagram of the gun turret of the T-80 tank. He sat down by the window and
I started writing an intelligence report. "Upon arrival in Kyiv I
I felt like I was being watched. Firing back from two
hands, ran to the parking lot and jumped into
a BMW car that turned up." In half an hour
a romantic story that the boss loved so much
Moscow was completed. He dreamed of adventures
James Bond.
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