Humor - Jokes.

Gluk #00
Train compartment. They're coming, mom 
daughter, soldier and warrant officer.
suddenly the light goes out and through 
it rings for a few seconds
a resounding slap in the face.          
  Mom thought: “Wow,
my daughter is quite grown up, and  
doesn’t allow you to get in your way,
Well done!"                
  Daughter: "Wow, mom   
already 10 years without a husband, not 
allows..."             
  Ensign: "Ugh! We must 
Well, the soldier is pestering me, but I
gets it!"              
  Soldier: "If the light returns
goes out, I'll tell him again   
I'll hit you!"                  
                          
          *****           
                          
  The guy came to the girl.
We sat and talked, you... 
drank coffee. He's always   
combed his hair.             
  - What are you doing with a comb?
don't let go of your hands? - no   
the girl endured.        
  - Yes, when I think about it   
you still need to be fucked, after all
hair stands on end!       
                          
          *****           
                          
  - I never went to bed 
in bed with men before  
until I left
husband for your father, - 
Vila his strict mother   
rebellious young daughter.-  
Can you say it too
most to your daughter?      
  - I can, mommy, but not 
with such an honest expression
faces like yours - smile -
daughter                
                          
          *****           
                          
  Parents unexpectedly believed
came home and found the son-
on in bed withgirl.  
  "They couldn't come in a minute -  
that later,” thought pa-  
ren.                     
  "Well, now he's on me
getting married!” thought the girl,
shka.                      
  "And son, you’re quite...  
grew up It's time to buy him a motorcycle
cycle,” thought the father.     
  "Oh my God, what's wrong with her? 
the pose is uncomfortable for the boy -
but,” thought the mother.      
                          
          *****           
                          
  Enthusiastically in love  
schoolgirl Masha languid   
asks the kra- 
Savtsa-hussar:             
  - Mr. Lieutenant, tell me-
live, have you ever loved 
be to the depths of your soul?    
  - What is it like, a crustacean, sir?   
How he loved, loved.      
                          
          *****           
                          
  - Uh-uh, Pierre, you go-
they said it was just a slap
touch your navel with your finger! And this
no longer a belly button!            
  - So this is no longer pa-  
lec!                     
                          
          *****           
                          
  - Vanya, let's go as before -
ra, let’s graze the bull, - at-  
says the girl.          
  - Okay, just now  
I will graze and fuck 
may you be bullied!        
                          
          *****           
                          
  - Van, ah Van, come 
in the evening!                 
  - Well ?                  
  - There will be no one at home. 
  - Well ?                  
  - Let's play!            
  - Well ?- You’ll drink beer!      
  - Well ?                  
  - You will climb on me!!   
  - Well ?                  
  - We'll fuck!!!   
  - Ah, I got the hint...   
                          
          *****           
                          
  - When did you manage to...
kiss your girlfriend   
first time on the lips?       
  - Yes, on the second evening 
after meeting!        
  - And what did she say in
the answer to such agility? 
  - But I didn’t hear: she told me
She squeezed her ears with her knees.     
                          
          *****           
                          
  - Aunt Masha! And I yours  
Galyu that...              
  - So get married!          
  - No, I didn’t want her...  
moved by tractor...     
                          
          *****           
                          
  - Here you are sitting here, and  
on your honor board there 
the foreman was torn off...      
                          
          *****           
                          
  A man is sitting in a sandbox.
The hangover is painful, it sucks. 
A girl runs up to him and
says:                  
  - Uncle, tell me     
"bow".                    
Man:                    
  - Onion...                
Girl:                  
  - A knock on the forehead!          
  The guy thinks: "Oh, fuck, and
so bad, even this girl-
chonka was missing..." Dev- 
Chonka runs up again:    
  - Uncle, tell me     
"bow".                    
  -Onion.                  
  - A knock on the forehead!          
  The guy generally sucks  
thinks: "And what is she to me  
did you dig in?" girl   
runs up again:          
  - Uncle, tell me     
"bow".                    
  - No, you better tell me   
"thirty three".           
  - Thirty-three...       
  - A hundred fucks in your hat!
  - It’s so awkward, isn’t it?    
  - Do you have time?   
Go and fold...        
                          
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