"AS ONE OF MY FRIEND (NOW DECEASED) SPEAKED NICK) YOU ONLY NEED TWO FOR A GOOD JOKE THINGS: GOOD TOPIC AND PEOPLE WHO WILL YOU THEY DON'T KNOW..." DEMON "BLIND" RU$$? ------------------------------------------ IT WAS JUNE 1995. I AM A DEMON AND MY CODES - HONEST FRIEND-RU$$, AS IT USUALLY IS, FROM- WE BREATHED FROM THE GRANITE OF SCIENCE, WALKING AROUND LE-Ave. NINA AND SICKING BEER. HEAT THIS DAY IT WAS JUST UNBEARABLE AND WE WAS AT ABOUT 12 DAYS, SUMMARY FOR A PAIR AT LEAST 1.5 BOXES COLD BEER. THERE WAS NOT MUCH TO TALK ABOUT WHAT WE WERE JUST JOKING ABOUT PASSING- WITH WOMEN NEARBY. I WILL NOT FUCK RU$$ EYE-DIAMOND AND HE IMMEDIATELY STANDED OUT FROM THE CROWD TWO GIRLS, AND PRETTY CUTE- NAH. THEY, LIKE US, TOO WALKED FALL. RU$$ ASKED ME TO BRAKE AROUND THE NEXT KIOSK T.K. WE HAVE SHARP THE BEER RUNNED OUT AND TWO SIMP PULLS FLOODED - WHETHER NEXT. TAKING THE NEXT 4 BOTTLES OF BEER, WE DECIDED TO LAND ON THE BENCH AND SET UP THERE DRINK THIS WONDERFUL CREATION OF HUMAN HANDS. RIGHT HERE ABOUTSTORE AND I FOUND THIS EVIL- HAPPY WAND. AT THAT MOMENT I DON'T THINK IT’S SMALL THAT WE WILL BE EXCELLENT IN THE FUTURE A FUN WITH HER HELP... SO, I SAW THIS STICK STICKING OUT OF THE BUSHES AND TRIED WITHOUT GETTING UP FROM THE BENCH, REACH IT. NOT CALCULATING DISTANCES AND NOT CONSIDERING THE FORCES OF THE EARTH GRAVITY, I LANDED SAFELY ON GRASS, WHY RU$$ WAS JUST DYING FOR 20 MINUTES FROM LAUGHING. - "WHAT'S FUNNY HERE? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ARE YOU LAUGHING? I WOULD HELP A FRIEND RISE, I SAID RU$$у, RAISING LONG, THIN FROM THE GROUND STICK. IT MUST BE ADDED THAT DESPITE THE FACT THAT WE GUYS ARE PRETTY STRONG (ON ALCOHOL) L), AND THE BEER ALREADY MADE ABOUT ITSELF POST- FOAM REPLACES OUR BLOOD. - “LOOK,” I SAY, “RU$$, WHAT A WAND- AT LEAST GO FOR MUSHROOMS NOW." I WILL SWEEP- A FALSE AND A PAIR OF FLOWERS FELL INTO THE GRASS, THEN AGAIN, AND AGAIN... SOON I GOT TIRED OF PLAYING CHOPPING FLOWERS AND I SAT NEXT TO RU$$ WHO- RY WAS ALREADY FINISHING HIS BEER, LOOKING askance at ON MY. THE SUN BURNED RELENTLY AND RU$$ PRE- I WENT TO GO TO "ZOLOTOE" SO THAT THERE, ABOUT- TO THE CHOCOLATE GIRLS, CONTINUE BEER NEW EPIC, TAKEN ANOTHER FIVE LITERS FOR SNOUT AND 3-4 FISH. ME SO FAR I WAS NOT HAPPY WITH THE HIKE AND I JUST DID NOTHING ANSWERED. RU$$ IN HIS TURN WAS NOT LEGGING AWAY AND IN THE END, I NEARLY AGREED DO ANOTHER STUPIDITY - GO TO HIM WITH HIM LAKE. MONEYWE WERE ENOUGH AND I, IN ORDER TO PAY FOR TIME, I OFFERED RU$$ to PRO- GO TO THE STORES - LOOK FOR GOOD GLASSES. HE AGREED AND WE MOVE TO THE "LILY OF THE LILY" WHERE, ACCORDING TO MY SCORE COUNT, IT WAS TO THE ASS. THE CHOICE OF GLASSES THERE WAS, OF COURSE, BIG, BUT WE LOOKED LIKE ANTS. THAT'S WHY NOT THINKING FOR A LONG TIME, WE MOVED INTO “YOUTH”. MOST THE INTERESTING THING IS THAT I STILL GRIPED THE STICK HAND, THUS BRINGING CLOSER TO THE FATAL DENOUGH- KU. IN "YOUTH", WE BUYED OURSELVES MIRROR GLASSES, TOOK ANOTHER 4 BOTTLES IN "SPRING" DID BEER AND WENT TO THE VOSKHOD DC. RU$$, POS- LE OF A SHORT "FIGHT" TOOK FROM ME MY WAND AND WALKED WITH IT, PRETENDING TO BE MYSELF BLIND. IT PICKED ME SO MUCH THAT WHEN I SAW AGAIN THOSE GIRLS WHO WE MISSED EARLIER, I ALREADY HAD A PLAN... TO START, I HID MY PANTS POCKET GLASSES SO AS NOT TO Arouse ANY SUSPECTS IN WOMEN VISION. THEN QUICKLY SUCKED HIS BEER, TOOK HIS BOTTLE FROM RU$$ AND PUSHED RU$$a WITH KNEE, MOVED TOWARDS THE GIRLS- CAMS THAT, SUSPECTING NOTHING, ARE SOMEWHERE WE WERE IN A HURRY. AT THAT MOMENT I WAS COUNTING THAT ONLY ON THEIR DECENTITY... - “EXCUSE ME, PLEASE,” I ADDRESSED THEM AND CONTINUED, WITHOUT ALLOWING THEM TO RECOGNIZE, “U I HAVE PROBLEMS HERE, THAT IS, I DON'T I'M GOING TO GO ON TIME... AND THIS YOUNG GUY- LOVEK ASKED ME TO ACCOMPANY HIM TO THE DOC "SUNRISE"..."THE GIRLS STANDED TO THE START! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY THOUGHT AT THAT MOMENT, BUT ACCORDING TO IT WAS SEEN THAT WE OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T ENTER- CONSIDER THEIR FUTURE PLANS. - "WELL PLEASE HELP THE MAN HE DOESN’T SEE!”, I ADDED AND FINISHED THE END- BODY. THIS FINAL PHRASE AND MY FACIAL EXPRESSION FINALLY GOT GOOD THE HEARTS OF THE GIRLS, BUT IT WAS SEEN THAT THEY THEY STILL HESITATE. I LOOKED AT THE WATCH AND, SAYING THAT I WAS IN A VERY HURRY, I WENT TO FOR Mr. "RAINBOW", LEAVING RU$$a TO TWO PREC- THE RADIATE LADIES WHO SHOULD BE CAREFUL TRY FOR HIS SAFE RETURN TO- MY. - “WHAT IF IT DOESN’T GO?”, I THOUGHT AS I DISAPPEARED AROUND THE TURN, - "AND IF RU$$ GOT A PUNCH SOMEWHERE - TSY? THEN THE FUN WILL BE EXHAUSTED, NOT EVEN STARTED." BUT WATCHING THIS GREAT COLLEGE IN THE TRINITY, I STARTED TO REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING IS WE WILL GET OUT. MEANWHILE, THE WOMEN TOOK RU$$a TO THE KIOSK AND THERE HE BUYED HIMSELF A BEER (FOR A JERK), AND BA- BAM ICE CREAM. I JUST CAN'T FIND IT PLACES TO WATCH THE GIRLS TURNING ABOUT RU$$a. AND I WAS ALONE, AND TO EVERYTHING ELSE AND WAS HIDING SO OUR PLAN WOULD NOT BE REVEALED. MEANWHILE RU$$, WITHOUT THINKING AT ALL DRUNK, WALKED AROUND THE GIRLS TO ALL THE STORES LYING ON THEIR PATH. WHAT BEFORE ME, THEN I, IN MY TURN, ALSO TOOK GET YOURSELF A FEW BOTTLES OF BEERAND BY THE TIME ME WHEN RU$$ WITH THE GIRLS REACHED THE DK "SUNRISE" WAS NO LONGER! MY TRINITY OS- WAS STANDING NEAR THE FURNITURE STORE AND I THOUGHT THE GIRLS WOULD LEAVE RU$$a NOW REST IN PEACE AND GO AWAY. IT WRONG! RU$$ WHAT- SO I TOLD THEM AND THE THREE OF THEM WENT TO THE PHARMACY. I'M TIRED OF ALL THIS FERMENTATION AND I DECIDED GET OUT OF THE AMBUSH. GOING A LITTLE AHEAD, I WENT INTO THE PHARMACY AND BEGAN WATCHING THE MOVEMENT NO GIRLS. SUDDENLY SOMEONE HAS ME IN THE SIDE- LKN... “ARE YOU COMING IN OR GOING OUT?” I HEARD A TERRIBLE VOICE - OBVIOUSLY THE UNCLE WAS IN A HURRY SOMEWHERE. “I’M WAITING,” I ANSWERED MUCHLY AND LOOKED FOR A MAN. HE HELD IN HIS HANDS TWO LARGE BOXES AND IT WAS CLEAR THAT THEY WOULD SEPARATE IN WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GO THROUGH A NARROW PASSAGE. I WENT TO THE STREET, TRYING NOT TO LOOK IN THE WAY RU$- $a, BUT THE GIRLS RECOGNIZED ME IMMEDIATELY AND CALLED. THE DISTANCE WAS LESS THAN I PREDITED I ASSUMED AND PRETENDED THAT I DIDN’T HEAR THEM I COULD NOT SUCCESS SO I SMILED AND WENT TO THEM. RU$$ SHINED!!! - “WHY DIDN’T YOU SEE THE MAN HOME? ,-I IMMEDIATELY ROLLED THE BARREL ON THEM. -"I ASKED THEM." - RU$$ ANSWERED, - "KS- TATI, MEET THIS: THIS IS OLGA, AND THIS IS LENA,” - HE POINTED FIRST AT THE GIRL STANDING TO HIS LEFT, AND THEN TO THE GIRL ON THE RIGHT, AND THEN ADDED “OR AM I WRONG?” THEY IN THEIR TURN VOTED WITH ONE VOICE,THAT EVERYTHING IS CORRECT. THERE IS NOTHING LEFT FOR ME - HOW TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF. RU$$ TOO SAID HIS NAME, PRETENDING WE DIDN'T Familiar. - “VERY NICE!”, I RESPONDED AND SUGGESTED GIRLS SHOULD WALK TO "GPTU-3". - “AND SO WE ARE WALKING,” OLGA AND ULY ANSWERED - FUCKED. EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL: THE GIRLS TOLD THAT THEY CAME FROM CHELYABINSK TO VISIT RELATIVES. WE, IN OUR TURN, TRANSCEND- ARE ALL THE JOKES YOU HAVE HEARD BEFORE? IN WHICH THAT MOMENT, I WENT A LITTLE AHEAD AND THEN HEARD- RU$$a's VOICE SHAL: - "LECH, YOUR PANTS ARE IN THE BACK "If you get dirty, shake yourself off." THERE WAS SILENCE FOR SEVERAL MINUTES, WHICH WHAT GRADUALLY GROWED INTO FRIENDLY LAUGHTER AND THEY LAUGHED TO TEARS! NEXT I HAD TO DEDICATE THE GIRLS TO THE EMERGENCE OF THIS JOKES, THEY GAVE RU$$ A COUPLE OF KISSES FAREWELL AND WE PARKED PEACEFULLY. BY THE WAY... WHO, WHOM THAT DAY BROUGHT TO- MY-SCIENCE HAS NOT PROVED! AN INVESTIGATION IS IN PROGRESS... ------------------------------------------ DEMON
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