Humoresque

*************** HUMORESQUE. ****************
                                           
   I FELT GOOD IN THE MORNING. I FELT SE-
I WAS A REAL INDIAN AND WASHED IT PROUDLY
FRESHLY CUT EAR OF THE NEIGHBOR'S DOG. DRESSING
BUDENOVKA, I GRABED A WIDE SHOVEL, AND C
JUMPED UPON MOMMY'S BED, KNOCKING
HIT MOM IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL. SHE WOKE UP
TOOK OUT A SHINY DAGGER FROM UNDER THE PILLOW, AND
GENTLY CUT OFF MY RIGHT THUMB BUT-
GI AND THEN WRAPPED MY LEG IN SHEETS.
THE SHEET BECAME WET AND COLORED IN THAT HOUR
THE COLOR IS RED, AND MOTHER SOLDLY SAID: `MI-
LYY, YOU ARE STILL SMALL FOR A REAL INDIAN,
LET'S PLAY RED BOOTS BETTER.      
   `MOM FUCK, MOM FUCK!` - I CRIED, AND
JUMPED TO HIS ROOM, SPAPPING BEAUTIFULLY
SEMI NAKED ASS. AND IN MY ROOM
MEANWHILE, MOLD AND
CACTi. I QUICKLY TOOK THE DEAD SPRAYER
INSECTS, AND SPRAYED THEM ON THE WINDOWSILL,
ON THE WALLS, ON YOUR BED AND ON YOUR CHIN.
THE MOLD FALLED OFF IMMEDIATELY. `NOT WEAKLY...` - BY-
I THOUGHT, AND AS LENIN SAID THROUGH TEETH:
`SO, MATE, YOU WILL KNOW HOW TO DE-
STOP BEING OFFENDED!` . TEETH FROM OVERSTRESS
THEY FELL OUT IMMEDIATELY, BUT I NAILED THEM -
DYAM IN PLACE. THEN I GOT ON THE BIKE AND
I WENT TO THE KITCHEN, JUST MOVING ON THE ROAD
GRANDMOTHER'S FAVORITE CAT.  CONTINUING TIME-
COMMIT TO YOUR PRECISION EYE GAUGE, I'M A WHIRLOVER
MISSED BYMOMS BETWEEN THE LEGS AND ROLLED IN STRAIGHT
MEXOHbKO IN THE FRIDGE. SUDDENLY FEELING
MYSELF AS TARZAN, I WITH A DEFINITE MOVEMENT OF MY HANDS AWAY
RULES THE SOUP IN THE GARBAGE CHIP, ALONG WITH THE BONE
RULEY, AND CLEVERLY DODGING FROM MOM AND PET-
LEI IN HER HANDS, WHICH SHE TRIED TO PUT ON -
FUCK ON MY NECK, JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW. `TREES
THIS SUMMER ARE RARELY PURPLE...`- BY-
I THOUGHT, FLYING PAST ANOTHER WINDOW, BEYOND
WHICH OUR NEIGHBOR TRIED WITHOUT RESULTS -
BUT PULL YOUR PANTIES OVER YOUR HEAD.              
   I FALLED PRETTY QUICKLY, ONTO MY HAT
BUT THE DRESSED CITIZEN HAS NEVER BEEN SUCCESSFUL
WRITE AT THE FOURTH FLOOR LEVEL BY MY
FAVORITE WIDE MARKER: `I WAS HERE!`,
AND CLEVERLY SCALPING THIS MAN, I POP-
BURCHED ON. HAVING CONFESSED TO YOUR FRIEND, YOU, THAT
MOTHER `LET ME TO WALK`, I'M USUAL
BY MOVEMENT OF ITS POWERFUL JAWS IN DOUBLE
I BIT HIS NOSE OUT FOR THE ELEVENTH TIME. HE IS IN HIS
I DID THE QUEUE WITH THE SAME USUAL MOVEMENT
I HAVE HARA-KIRI, AND DIGGING A LITTLE INTO MY
GUTS, AND DISCOVERING YOUR NOSE, AT TWELVE-
THIS TIME I CAREFULLY GLUED IT IN PLACE.   
   HAVING LOSSED ALL INTEREST IN VASKA, I OPENED
I WAS DRIVING HOME, BEAUTIFULLY PULLING SEVEN METERS -
DRINK YOUR GUTS. HOMES CONSULTED-
WHAT IS THE SEQUENCE OF THEM?
FOLD IN PLACE, I DO NOT COMHE-
WARNING IN THE CORRECTNESS OF MY ACTION, ALONE
WITH THE MOVEMENT OF THE KITCHEN KNIFE, GRANDFATHER ATTENDED
KU TO THE RACE OF INTESTINES...... THIS IS HOW A USUAL DAY BEGAN
OF THE MOST ORDINARY ST. PETERSBURG FAMILY...      
                                           
                        (C) LORD VOVCHIK 94