test - erect space 2.

 ■··································.
(c) Daniil Shepovalov, The Greatest Humanist of All Times and Peoples
(c) ][
(b)odyversion by wrecker^smk

 Erect space 2

The sacred symbol of Shiva is a stylized image
male penis.  Believers kiss, stroke and do all sorts of things
revere him.  However, some particularly advanced monks
consider themselves above this symbolism and worship their own
erect penis. 
                                                  Swami Sahadeva

In fact, what’s there to be cunning about - what else to write about if not
about sex.  Even the kind grandfather Freud figured out that a person
lives only to fuck. Otherwise, he doesn't care
in general, from paradise or non-existence there to be born on Earth. What is it, I
Now I’ll tell you an even cooler concept, which is with me
my roommate shared. In general, everything is, in fact, the way it is
like this: you are actually getting fucked every second. You're walking along
on the sidewalk, for example, and your head is shaking up and down,
that is, friction is according toEssentially, you have the sky.  Or money
you earn and spend - again the same frictions. And so it is
lasts throughout life, and death is the most concrete orgasm,
when you end with your soul from your body into the boundless space.
Such things.   And, of course, the more skilled you become at
sexual perversions, the cooler your latest one will be
orgasm, and all the more significant is your contribution to the endless cosmic
orgy.  That’s why we bring to your attention an upgraded
version of the acclaimed "Erect Cosmos" test to measure
the significance of this contribution during life. For example, my deposit is 17
see damn it, that is 64 points. 

So, the test itself: (Choose an answer to each of the given
questions and add together the numbers facing these options.
You will get a certain number of points, thanks to which you
and you will be able to determine your role in interplanetary karmic orgies
- just read the description of types at the end of the article) 

Suppose a good wizard told you that you
you can turn into any person on the planet. That is, you
you have the ability to completely replace his consciousness and
personal matrix with the corresponding parameters,belonging to
exclusively for you.  Who, then, would you like to become?
why? 
1.  Sergei Pokrovsky, in order to be able to
give a good fuck to one of the members of the editorial board and Danya
Shepovalov personally. 
2. My dream is to become a popular singer who wears
pseudonym Oscar. Then I will organize a grandiose concert, I will invite
on it Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. And at that moment when
We'll sing the song "Pink Girls" together, I'll get it
circular saw, cut off my dick and throw it into the crowd
fans. 
3. I want to become Ole Lukoje so that I can open the door every night
all the children of the planet an umbrella with the next super-nightmare and to their heart's content
enjoy their moans and screams.   (Oil painting:
Little nasty Ole Lukoje masturbating over the bed
little Danechka Shepovalov, who dreams that he is being raped
huge space robot) 
4. Turn me into a huge space robot that
rapes Danechka Shepovalov in his dream. That's the only way. 

Which of the characters in the children's fairy tale "Pinocchio" would you give if
was Malvina, the girl with blue hair? 
1.Pierrot 
2. Papa Carlo 
3. Karabas Barabas 
4. Fox Alice 
5. Artemon 

How many children do you want to have?  Ummm.wait, I think I am
formulated my question somewhat ambiguously. Oh, it's better here
so: exactly how many children are you going to have in your life?
1. One 
2. Two 
3. Twenty eight 
4. I got sterilized on my sixteenth birthday as a sign
protest against humanoid forms of life and objective
existence in the material universe. 
5. In five years I will adopt a 17-year-old girl from an orphanage
shelter and show her in practice why “life is crap!” and "all
men are assholes!"  Well, after satisfying all your
perverted fantasies, naturally, I will sell her into slavery for
sugar cane plantations.   ("The word "shit" is possible
is an abusive expression and its use in literary
language is undesirable,” that’s what Word said, highlighting it in red
wavy line is a wonderful noun.  "What a
It’s still fortunate that programs don’t yet know how to check
the semantic load of the text,” thought Danya). 
6. In five years I will adopt a 15-year-old boy... 
7. Tomorrow I will take under my care a little spaniel from the shelter
for dogs..What item do you most often use as
visual object for masturbation? 
1. Monitor 
2. Your own watch for 400 bucks 
3. Photo of Sergei Pokrovsky 
4. Prison bars 
5. Mirror, standing with your back to it in women’s panties,
bra and bending over slightly. 
6. The book "Numerical methods and programming in Fortran." M.:
World, 1977 

What do you think is the meaning of human existence?
That is, for what purpose do you get up in the morning and go to bed
in the evening, without shooting yourself in the interval between these two
events? 
1. Creativity and selfless creation for the benefit of all
humanity - this is what allows you to feel true beauty
life and behold the Divine. 
2. Like getting laid can be great sometimes. 
3. I don't have a gun. 
4. I will show you, scum, the meaning of existence. Just wait a minute
- another year or two and I will annihilate this vile planet to hell
dogs, and if you're lucky, then the galaxy, or even the entire Universe.
If only more funds were allocated in the budget for nuclear physics. 
5.Thousand-thousand-tadadam.   In fact, I'm not a person, but
alien form of mental existence,
transformed into plain text.  And now I'm fucking yours
eyes.  And if you smiled, it means I just came in
your brain and now you too are an alien creature. Yes
that from now on the meaning of your whole life is to write like
you can be more paranoid and fuck everyone in the eyes this way
population of planet Earth. Ahhhh, where are you taking me, bastards! Not
You have to tie your sleeves behind your back! What did you inject me with? Not needed
No tranquilizers for me! What the hell is Kashchenko? Yes I you
I'll hand you over to a cosmic tribunal! Fascism will not pass! You give me freedom
thought processes! 

What musical composition, in your opinion, will be the most successful
soundtrack for the pilot porn film by Daniil Shepovalov? 
1. Decl "Party" 
2. Eminem "Still don't give a fuck" 
3. Astral Projection "Intergalactic condom" 
4. Nautilus Pompilius “Wheels of Love” (option: DJ remix
Hallucinogen "Shoals of Good") 
5. Oscar "Smear with Vaseline" 

What do you think is the best name for Daniil's pilot porn film?
Shepovalova? 
1. Roadside Picnic 
2.Member of the CPSU Central Committee 
3. Carbonated sperm 
4. Snow White and the 22 Tin Woodmen 
5. Fear and Loathing at the Moscow Zoo 
6. Quake 3: Arena - Nowhere to Run 
7. Home alone 

Imagine that you are Lena Zosimova. Ugh, I mean imagine that
you work as a designer of condom packaging and must
come up with an original slogan or design element that will
make your products stand out from the sea of identical gray condoms. So,
your suggestion: 
1. Indicate the login, password, and time on each condom
access: 5 hours, 20 hours or generally unlimited from seven to ten
evenings. 
2. Use minimalistic packaging design
gray background with a stylish black swastika and the inscription "Shield of the Third
Reich".  Release a limited number of elite series products
"SS: for indoor use", equipped with sharp spikes and
screw thread. 
3. Sell empty packages (without condoms inside). Slogan:
"Just do it!" 
4. Release Russian Roulette condoms. Every third of
which will be developed using the unique Colander technology. 

Imagine that you are terminally illterrible disease, and you live
exactly 24 hours left. How, then, will you spend your
last day? Your actions: 
1.  I’ll go around all the churches in the area and passionately pray to Christ,
Krishna, Buddha, Allah and the Spirit of Clara Zetkin, so as not to rattle in
hell to the fullest, like a billion eternities for the fact that in
at the age of 16 I stole two coins from a blind beggar,
raped a little frog and read all of Dan's articles
Shepovalova. 
2. I will sit naked in the lotus position in the middle of Red Square, cut into
chest swastika and will slowly bleed to applause
passers-by If they try to resuscitate me, I will organize a public
the act of self-immolation as a protest against something. e.g.
against littering outer space with artificial
satellites of the Earth or against their parents, since the very fact
my birth is an example of stunning cynicism,
inhumanity and, in fact, murder - since everyone
the one who is born must die. 
3. I’ll sell my apartment, then buy a chainsaw from the “Hell on Earth” brand
666" and I will rent the entire first-class brothel for two hours.
I will go into anal..mmmm.history under the nickname “Whore-cutter”, and the game
DooM will be banned by the United Nations. 
4.I'll be bruising all day at the Blue Planet bar. The rights to
I will transfer the use of my corpse to the porn concern "Danya"
Shepovalov, Dolly the Sheep and Company." 

Who do you think killed John Kennedy? 
1. Lee Harvey Oswald 
2. Britney Spears 
3. Daniil Shepovalov 
4. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 
5. Agent Cooper paired with Laura Palmer (and then got dirty,
put it in a plastic bag and threw it into the Caspian Sea) 
6. Cyberdemon 
7. Old woman Shapoklyak 

 Test results.

From 1 to 21 points:
Well, what can I say - sheer banality. Are you thinking about sleeping with
Is it still fashionable for women? Yes, now you can even sleep with dead puppies
- last century!  No dear friend, we still need to work on it
yourself.  And there’s no need to mumble something indistinctly about the standard
Soviet childhood, strict parents and lack of TV.
You should study, study and study again (and then get treatment,
of course)! Read relevant literature, watch suitable
porn movies. In general, it's time to go out into people!

From 22 to 43 points:
Oh, now this is our way. Of course there are shortcomings, to be sure
them.  For example, how many hours a day do you devote to masturbation?
beforea mirror?  5?  Well, what good is this! Understand - you're not
some prostitute, you’re alone at home, this case doesn’t even last 14 hours
dedicating a day is the height of carelessness. But of course it's me too
I’m approaching it too harshly. Overall, you are on the right path, comrade. B
in your next life you will be a pulsar, or a hole, at worst
end.black naturally. 

From 44 to 63 points: 
Wow! Ay, well done!!! Still, it’s not in vain that my fingers bleed here
I smash it on the keyboard - there is a recoil. Just one thing, don't
overzealous: kill all your sexual partners
Still, it’s not worth it - there’s no point in it. Basically, all human
you have already worked out the potential for sexual perversion, so
next life you will be pure energy of copulation or
lustful thoughts.  Well, if a carrier space becomes available
global idea of Erect Cosmos, then you will join
the next incarnation of Dani Shepovalov. 

64 points: 
Congratulations!  This is the pinnacle of progress according to Freud, then it’s just
nowhere.  In your next life you simply will not be - you will no longer be
banned as a person by the Ecumenical Committee on Deadlock Affairs
civilizations and the investigation of crimes against Eternity. Write
rather to me and if you turn out to be the fastest, you will capture the power
spiritual erection of one'slast incarnation at 7 kilohours
porn.  A trifle for you, of course, but posterity will be pleased
undoubtedly.