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▒▒▒▒░ ▀▀▀▀▄ Mr.ZERO
▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▀▀▀▄ and
▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▀▀▀▀▀▄ M&G Corp.
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▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▓▒▒░▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ▀▀▀▀▄ REPRESENT!
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░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░░ About ▀▀▀▀▄ ▒▒▒▒▒░ ▒▒░
░░░░ ░░ ▓▓ ░░ M FOR ▀▀▄ ▒▒░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓ ░░ E YOU. ▀▀▀▀▄ ▒▒░
░░08.03.96░░░░░░░░░░ ░░ R ▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√ √√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√
__ __ _____
/ /_/ / /____/
/ __ / _/ /_ BOYS and GIRLS (If there are such (girls))!!!
/_/ /_/ /____/
Come on, let's all get togetherguess what I’m going to congratulate you on
guys. That's right, from March 8th. Okay, I'm not a pervert, live 8
March. Damn, the beer isn't great and the pizza isn't bad either. Oops, I'm off topic
got distracted and managed to eat (we are all imperfect), and got distracted again,
sorry asshole. To the point, by March 8th. I just congratulated you
Happy this bright day, isn't it possible?
Listen, listen and don't say what you didn't hear: Together with
us(ONLINE,LIMETREE,DR LONGMAN NEWS END OF COSS ANIGDOT) go-
Delirium came into being. Cool story (if you don’t praise yourself, no one will)!
BREB is nonsense, the name justifies itself :-).
NEWS: Have you heard anything about KB2 (KING'S BOUNTY 2) on SPECY.
I heard and am disgusted by her. This is a masterpiece, and strategy lovers
They're just hanging out in their cars to dry. Cool, no strategy like this
Links with KB2. And I (Mr.ZERO) in honor of such a holiday offer!!!
To everyone, but only to strategy fans and ANIGDOT readers
(ONLY) call me and I will “salt” it to you. But I will only mention above-
tykh, and not for the collection.
SEE IN HELL.
√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√ √√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√
---ADVERTISING---
I am assembling a custom phone with Caller ID! Some characteristics:
- phone case type TECHNICA P-2308 (PANASONIC family)
- extended keyboard (22 buttons)
- giant flat red indicator (90X20 mm)
- ELLIS type caller ID circuitry
- software version RUS 20E+
- instructions foroperation
My pre-shaved phone comes with a 2 YEAR WARRANTY!!!
Cost - 215-225 tr, no prepayment!!!
(at the Mitinsky radio market it’s more expensive - 250-300 rubles).
Assembly time is 3-7 days.
I also carry out:
- repair of caller IDs of any type
- replacing software versions with the latest ones.
- installation of voice cards for 1 min. and 4 min.
Voice board is an electronic answering machine designed to
to record the voice of callers.
QUALITY GUARANTEED!!!
Call: (095) 496-61-59 (IGOR)
----------------------------------------------------------------
A man in a Kamaz drives up to the intersection, and there the green one starts
the light flashes, I’ll pass, he thinks, no, I didn’t have time and bang on the brakes,
and a 600 Mercedes drives into his backside from behind. A man comes out
Kamaz, comes up to the Mercedes and says:
- Well, let's figure it out? I hung up a new bucket yesterday...
The plane is flying. The stewardess enters the cockpit and gasps in surprise.
says:
- There, the passenger from the 13th seat says that I would open the door for him,
he wants to go out!
The first pilot turns lazily:
- Is this the one covered in bandages and plaster?
- Uh-huh...
- so tell him - he always comes out here!
A man in deep alcoholic intoxication returns home after
picnic in the forest with colleagues. about exhausted from a long and difficult
rogi, lay down to rest in the forest near the railway station. While he was sleeping, to
A snake crawled into his trousers.
Waking upthe man understands that he wants to send him a small well-
waiting...
He unzipped his fly, which means he pulled out a snake...
Stands (M) under a tree, looks at her with a hazy gaze and says
rith:
- What, are we going to write or make eyes?
A monkey (M) sits on the shore and eats a banana. Two bloods are swimming along the river
codela(1-2K).
1K: - Listen, do you see a monkey on the shore?
2K: -- Uh-huh...
1K: - Let's make fun of her...
They swim up to her and ask casually:
(*K) - Monkey, are you married?
(M) - e-ah!
(*K) - Ha-ha-ha-ha-hahaha! Monkey is unmarried!
(M quietly) - Yes-ah-ah-ah! You'll get married here when you're alone
crocodiles swim!!!!
On a trolleybus. There's a crush of people... A husband and wife come in. She's ahead
he is behind her, in his hands is a bag of chicken eggs. Husband, so as not
breaking eggs, holding the bag behind him. The door closes, giving
pours the bag, eggs, naturally....... Wife to her husband:
- Well! Normal men wear their balls in the front, but this one wears them in the back!
Winnie the Pooh climbs a tree for honey, then falls into the thorns of the holo-
howl down.
Piglet runs up:
- Blame! Blame it! What, are you hanging around!?
- I’m sticking out!... But somehow it’s not right...
(Ch)ukcha stole gold and hid it. He was caught by (M)ent, and the Chukchi
doesn't understand Russian. They invited a translator, also a Chukchi.
(M) (In Russian) - Where did you hide the gold?
(P) (in Chuukese) - However, where did you hide the gold?
(Ch) (in Chukusky) - However, I won’t tell!
(P) (In Russian) - He doesn’t want to talk, however!
(M)(In Russian) - And you tell him that if he doesn’t say it, then I’ll order it
shoot him!
(P) (in Chuukese) - He said, if you don’t say it, then he’s a little
It will be hard to shoot at you.
(Ch) (in Chuukese, scared) - However, he buried it near the chum!
(P) (In Russian) - He said shoot, however, he still didn’t say
come!
A worm crawls along the rails - the train passed - he crushed his ass, he knows
cheat turns:
- Well, ass, did you finish the game?
- we need to see which of us is an ass...
Three women were getting dressed after aerobics and talking about
their cynpyrax. “My husband,” said the first, “a marriage witness.”
He always brings me chocolate or flowers before we go
Let's take care of love.
“Mine is a jeweler,” said the second. "He always brings me pearls-
or two before we make love."
The third woman was silent. “Well...” she finally said.
"my husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed
and tells me how wonderful it will be when I have it
will be."
The man called his doctor and said that he apparently had
wife's appendicitis. "It's impossible," said the doctor. "She already had
appendicitis removed last year. Have you ever seen a human
what about the second appendicitis?
“No, idiot,” the husband replied. "Have you ever seen a man
with your second wife?
A young woman comes to the gynecologist and says:
- Doctor! I have been married for six months now and my husband and I regularly
we are doinglove, but I just can’t get pregnant, and I really want to
chu baby! Doctor, help me!!!
- In that case, I need to examine your genitals...
The woman opens her mouth wide and says loudly:
- A-a-a-a-a...
Ivanushka the Fool comes to Baba Yaga and tells her:
- Grandma, help me! I love Vasilisa the Beautiful very much, I know
We've been with her for a long time, but she won't give me... Ask for whatever you want,
but just help me!!!
“Okay,” Baba Yaga answers, “I’ll help you, but for this you owe-
wives will you spend five nights with me... Do you agree?
There was nothing to do, Ivan the Fool had to agree. Five nights
Ivanushka the Fool pleased Baba Yaga and barely remained alive. On the sixth
day Baba Yaga says to him:
- You need fucking grass, it will help npubopotutb Vasilis-Pre-
red!
- How will I find this grass?
- I’ll give you a ball of thread, you throw this ball on the ground, it will
will roll and show the way where you should go, but you need to go in
Far Away Kingdom - Thirtieth State, beyond the seven seas, beyond
three oceans... And when you come to this kingdom-state,
then you will find a high mountain there, on the top of which grows a dense
a forest of unprecedented trees, and in the middle of that forest there is a clearing,
on which this fucking grass grows. Early in the morning, before sunrise
sun you cop an armful of this grass, and when the sun is already
If you want to, then spread this grass so that it dries. And so it is necessary
will dry out the grassseven nights until it dries. Then the thief
Come to me and I will tell you how this herb should be used
for npubopota Vasilisa the Beautiful.
And Ivanushka the Fool went in search of z$ebun-grass.
Ivanushka the Fool walked around the world for a long time and finally found a fuck-
grass He picked it, dried it, as Baba Yaga ordered, and began to follow the path.
to their native lands. Ivanushka the Fool returned home all exhausted
and overgrown. He comes to Baba Yaga and says:
- Grandma, I brought some fucking grass, so you teach me how to
grass npubopotutb to me Vasilisa the Beautiful!
And Baba Yaga answers:
- I will teach you, but for this you will have to spend time with me.
ten nights... Well, do you agree?
Ivanushka the Fool really loved Vasilisa the Beautiful and had to
him to agree again. For ten nights Ivanushka the Fool ba-
bu Yagu, he almost died, unfortunate one. On the eleventh day of Baba Yaga
and says to him:
- When you come home, prepare all sorts of delicious food and drinks
put different ones on the table. Under the bed you will put a large oak floor
leno. Invite Vasilisa the Beautiful to your home for dinner, treat
you feed her with various delicious foods and drinks, and when she gets drunk,
flies, then you invite her to lie down on the bed and rest a little.
When she is lying on the bed, you will bend over her, which
if only you could paccteprytb the top button on her shirt - you’d say: “easier
will breathe,” and you’ll quietly take the oak wood from under the bed
all the logs andyou'll fuck all the foolishness with this log to Vasilis the Beautiful
I rub it on the head - and it’s yours!
- Why the fucked-up grass?!
- Fuck you with this grass - fuck Vasilisa the Beautiful quickly bye
she's warm!!!
Hospital.
(X) A surgeon with (C) A nurse (A nurse with an AX in his hands) commit
hospital rounds.
-(X) This man's right arm should be amputated.
- (C) Bale.
- (X) This one's left leg.
- (C) Bale.
- (X) This one's left hand.
- (C) Bale.
- (X) I said hand!!
- (C) Bale.
-(X) I said left!!!!
- (C) Bale.
Once upon a time we meet a Russian tape recorder (R) with a Japanese one (Y):
Me: -And the owner bought me a new cassette, it’s so cool!!!
R: -Let me chew...
Summer, heat below 40. Crowded bus.
There is a (D) girl standing, behind her is (G) Ruzin. U (D) ass.. (hmm) ass
the dress was healing, and (D) his (dress) carefully with his fingers
pulls. (D) turns around and begins to be indignant...
- What are you doing, aren’t you ashamed?!
(D) pushing (with quick hand movements) the dress back into
ass...
- And I am cheating, I am now!
A young fighter walks through the unit, putting on his uniform for the first time, with his head
he’s spinning everything, he’s interested, the colonel comes towards him, well, obviously
not built up, did not perform the military greeting, moves on,
The colonel stands up and shouts after him...
P- Fighter!
B-What? (turns)
P-Come here your mother!
B- (approaches) So what?
P- (turning white and pointing his finger at his shoulder straps) You! Warrior! You see THIS!
B- (calmly, but with envy) Wow! (pointing to hisweather-
us) And guess what, they gave me such crap
Geography lesson, the teacher asks the students a question:
- Tell me, children, what is the average height of the inhabitants of Africa?
Vovochka extends her hand, stands up and says:
- These Africans are dwarfs, so short.
“Why do you think so,” asks the teacher.
- And my mother told me about them. Here's the money last week
collected for the starving people of Africa, so she said:
- I don’t care about these Africans, you won’t get anything!
A couple went into the forest to have sex. Lying on the grass, doing their own
affairs. Suddenly - bam, an eagle owl is hooting above the lady's head, the lady is scared -
is present, and the gentleman’s penis clamps (dog reflex). Don't pull it out
Night. Forest. Somehow the couple gets to a payphone and calls the
I'm rooting. They say that there are no cars available, but if they borrow it themselves...
If they go to the hospital, they will get help.
(M)zhik - We can’t walk!
(C) bark - How did you get to the phone?
(M) - Waltzed...
(C) - Well, that means you’ll waltz to the hospital!
The man says to the lady:
-I told you - let's do it doggy style! We should have galloped long ago!
The ship was wrecked, the crew was killed, the sails and masts were torn off,
the steering wheel, in general, everything that could somehow move and direct
The radio and everything that could somehow connect with the world broke down. Wears
him with passengers by sea for a day, another, a month. Crew and passengers
The fish ate all the food and were forced to cast lots: for whom
gets in and gets eaten. Ateone, another, and then the lot is
gives it to the Englishman, well, they grab him and drag him to the galley. And he
shouts: wait, don’t eat me, I know where to get it
products. All - ???????. Englishman: well, you see, I'm a ship's man
engineer and I know that ships of this type must have a huge
a large reserve of emergency protection, which is hidden under the false bottom in the hold. Everyone is running
into the hold, and indeed - there is a huge supply of smoked pig-
Nina!!! To the Englishman: Piderast, what didn’t you say before, we-
People were eaten here because of you?!!! And the Englishman answered: You see-
I don't like pork.
It means a man is walking through the forest. He hears such a dull blow and a cry: “YES
FUCKED!!!" Well, naturally I got scared... I hid behind a tree, standing there
with a baton - waiting. He sees a big guy walking through the forest - well, he’s wary
so... the big guy comes closer - he jumps out and hits the
whack on the head... such a dull blow and a cry: "YES FUCK YOU!!!"
A man with a sore throat calls the doctor and asks in a whisper:
- Is the doctor at home?
“No,” the doctor’s wife also answers in a whisper, “come quickly.”
Late in the evening a woman walks home through the park. Suddenly he hears:
- Lie down!
Lay down.
- Crawl!
She crawled. Suddenly he hears in his ear:
- Woman, are you feeling bad? I’m working with the dog here, I see you’re...
you lie.
My husband just can’t get his ticket into the hole in the composter. When
The trolleybus stopped, the wife shouted:
- Petya, put it in quickly, while it’s still standing!
A drunk man comes to the zoo. Comes ininto a room where in ter-
papuymax crocodiles, turtles, snakes are sitting. Man teasing animals
, making faces at them, knocking on shop windows and generally acting ugly
leads. Suitable for one large teppapuymy, in which on a branch
There is a huge boa constrictor lying on the tree. The man thinks: “Well, here I am now.
I’ll stroke it,” breaks the teppapuyma window with a bottle, climbs inside
and crawls on all fours towards the boa constrictor. A boa constrictor quickly slides off a branch
tree and hides behind a large bush. The guy also crawls behind
bush The public watching all this is waiting in complete stupor to see what
this will all end. They looked and some kind of war had started behind the bush.
sound, and then a heart-rending scream was heard, after which it became audible
appetizing slurping, accompanied by rustling. Suddenly from the cous-
the head of the boa constrictor pokes out, then the boa constrictor, with its mouth slightly open, cums
a lump of its tail picks out a stuck piece between its teeth
fresh meat, spits it out loudly (as in our clinics
doctors) says:
- Next!
Two friends are riding in the back seat of a taxi and chatting:
- Ah! - says the first one. - Can you imagine, I was at the pri-
Well, they served me a fish fork with the meat!
- Horror! - the second one answers. - But that’s something else! My husband and I yesterday
ate at a restaurant...
So the waiter poured cognac into my dessert glass! A? This
what?
The taxi driver, a young guy, heard this and fidgeted in his
seat, turned around and asked with fear:
- Sorry, it's okayAm I sitting with my back to you?
Well that means this.
A boy and a girl come to their grandmother. In the boy's hands
biology textbook. Asks grandma:
-Can you have children?
- Of course not, grandson...
-So you are a grandmother, MALE!
-Kuma, where did you tear your tights?
- Yes, it got caught on the tank...
-FOR THE TANK???
-Yes to narohax...
Grandfather, granddaughter and dog on a walk. The dog barks continuously.
- Grandpa, is our bug a bitch?
- Yes, grandfather answers.
- So you fuck her, she will shut up.
- What are you doing, granddaughter? Who taught you this?
- And I heard dad say to mom, “You, bitch, if you don’t
fuck you, you'll be barking all day long"
- Grandma, can I play dominoes under the blanket at night? - asking-
He has a grandson.
- No dear.
- But this is incorrect: last night I heard dad say to mom
"I'm done." And she answered him: “What a goat!”
A wife (F), leaving to run errands, asks her husband (M) to wash the child.
Returning, he finds the faithful at work -
Having tied the child to a mop, he plunges him into the bath
(F) - what are you doing!??? why not with your hands??
(M) - and you try how hot the water is!
A corpse wagon was carrying corpses along the street. One fell out and fell on the road
A motorcyclist followed and ran over the corpse. I was afraid that the person
crushed him and threw him over the fence nearby. A hundred walked behind the fence
born He sees someone climbing over the fence and hit him a couple of times with a gun
Then he thinks: “I killed a man!” and threw it back. On the street
meanwhile there was a fight withstabbing. The corpse was also stabbed a couple of times.
The cops arrived, tied everyone up, and called an ambulance.
The doctor looked at the corpse and said:
“As for walking, I can’t guarantee it, but he will live!”
Ancient Greece (or Rome, that doesn't matter). The galley is sailing, the slaves are the oarsmen
move the oars. The captain's assistant descends into the room:
"I have 2 news for you: good and bad. Good: captain
ordered 2 glasses of wine for lunch! Slaves approvingly
nod.
“And the bad news: after lunch the captain decided to go water skiing!”
In general, it was like this. Born in one kingdom-state
boy. So alive, cheerful, healthy, but the only problem is:
instead of a navel he has an M6 nut (???). Parents rushed over
doctors, they shake their heads, they say, they have never seen anything like this and how
we don’t know how to treat. And the boy is growing - at least henna! That's just
nut...
Finally they found a grandmother-healer in some dense village
She looked and said: “Uh, kid, you’re over thirty years old.”
lands, distant seas. You will find Buyan Island there, on that
on the island there is an oak tree, in the oak tree there is a hollow, in the hollow there is a chest, in the chest there is a hare,
in the hare there is a duck, in the duck there is an egg, in the egg there is what you need."
Well, there’s nothing to do, the parents lamented, got their son ready for the road, and
he went to distant lands, to distant seas, his happiness
search. He walked, he walked, he endured a lot of boots alone, in short, he got there.
I found an oak tree, a chest, and then everything else is according to the text.
Gutted a duck, cracked an egg - and there was a keynut M6. Well he
without thinking twice, the navel was turned away with this key. Here he has
the butt fell off...
D: Is it true that the worst thing in the world is giving birth?
M: True, daughter
D: And this is the most painful thing in the world?
M: And most of all it hurts, daughter.
P (leaning towards M): Madam, have you ever been hit with a bottle?
eggs?
The English lord woke up early in the morning, went to the window, looked
to heaven and said to the servant:
- Today I was able again...
“Congratulations!” he will answer.
Three boys on the street chatting:
- And my mother has an ectopic pregnancy and the doctors are going
give her a Kecapeebo section.
- And my mother has an extra-dad pregnancy and my dad is going to
give her hara-kiri!
- And my dad went to Crimea and brought back clap. Shared with mom
Mom with Uncle Petya, Uncle Petya with Aunt Katya...
And now everyone has gathered in our kitchen and is arguing...
I don’t understand why they’re swearing! Either he brought little or henopobhy
shared....
Two students play with experienced preference players. Before the game
they ask how much cash students have, they answer -
ten rubles. The game ends - the students lost exactly
ten rubles. They paid, rummaging through their pockets to dial
to go home... they can barely scrape together a tram...
Seasoned: - Why didn’t you say that you still have ten kopecks?
is there?!
October 1917. A man in a leather jacket and a sword belt is struggling
phone:
- Young lady! Tower!!! Bah.. Young lady-young lady-young lady!!!
Al.. Hello!YOUNG LADY!!! Smolny for me! Young lady! BA.. BARYSH..
How to "fuck you"?
They hire a dude. Employer:
-- How much experience do you have, what can you do, etc. Hy and the last one
Question: Well, are you a drinker?
- You offend... Professional!
Two men (1 and 2) are talking:
1: Here I am sitting on a bench. Near Pushkin. There's a girl coming, cnotkhy-
las. Hy Pushkin immediately jumped up, helped her up and the girl
moved on.
The 2nd man tells the 3rd:
2: Here I am sitting on a bench. Near Pushkin. There's a girl coming, Pushkin to her
I tripped her and the girl tripped. Hy Pushkin jumped up
Zu, helped her get up and the girl walked on.
The 3rd man tells the 4th:
3: Here I am sitting on a bench. Near Pushkin. There's a girl coming, Pushkin to her
tripped him up, laughed hysterically and ran away.
...
The 100th man tells the 101st:
100: Here I am sitting on a bench, and Gogol is sitting on a tree next to me and
laughs.
Various teams perform, including the team of “new Russians”
skikh". And so, these “bulls” come out onto the site, all in gold
in chains, and everyone's hands were bandaged. In the ranks of the enemy team
murmur. The captain asks his coach:
"Why are all their hands bandaged?" And he answers:
"But because they take every serve with two fingers"
A hedgehog comes to an owl.
- Owl, my right paw is itching, what’s that for?
-Well, it's about money.
-But my lips are still itching...
-Well, this is for kissing.
-And here’s the backitches...
-Listen, hedgehog, you should go wash yourself...
They accepted a drug addict into the theater. They gave him the simplest role. He needs
was to go on stage and say: “Madam, I am a messenger from Pisa!”
Hy narc comes on stage and says:
“Madam, I am a messenger from the pussy.”
“Madam, I’m a fucking Ghanaian.”
- I'm a fucking messenger
- Fuck, fucked up, I'm driving...
A man comes to the store and tells the director
- yesterday in your store they sold stale vodka!
Director
- it can’t be?!
Man
- maybe! I took two bottles, drank them, and I was vomiting all night!
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HELLO:
ALEX,JAM,STRYKER,CYBORG,OLDMAN,KSA SOFT,VALERY,STS,SRR,VDV Corp.
VT-MASTER,PCI SOFT,409 SOFT,BOS FROM L.O.S.W,STEVER,DR.LONGMAN,
EVIL-MAN...
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CREDITS:
IDEA BY Mr.ZERO & M&G Corp.
INTRO BY Mr.ZERO
EDIT BY M&G Corp.
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