Have You Any Friends?

                >>>>> Have You Any Friends? <<<<<               
                                                                
                    -= By All E-3 Members =-                    
                                                                
                                                                
Here's a small article which all four members of Extacy-3       
contributed to.  You must consider that at the time when this   
aricle was written, all of us were pissed!!!  And all text was  
typed on Brainers (BNRs) +3 in his humble little house!         
                                                                
For this you will need a pen and piece of paper.  Right, have   
you got that?  Then we'll begin.....                            
                                                                
For each question there will be a number of answers (A,B,C etc. 
you know the score) of which you can choose only one.  Jut down 
your answers with the relvant question number and check out your
score and the end of this article.                              
                                                                
1. What do your supposed "friends" greet you with when you meet 
   them?                                                        
                                                                
A) Hello Bud! How are you on this fine day?                     
B) Hi! Were from Rent-A-Friend.                                 
C) You only Think we're your friends but we're not!!            
D) FUCK OFF!                                                    
                                                                
2. If you get an erection in the swimming baths what do your    
   "friends" say?                                               
                                                                
A) What nice bird have you seen then?                           
B) I've always waited for this moment.  Now just bend over!!!   
C) Errr.. You GAY Bastard!                                      
D) FUCK OFF!                                                    
                                                                
3. You hear there is a party going on, and you want to go.  You 
   ask your "friends" can you go?  What is their reply?         
                                                                
A) Yeah, come along you "Party Animal"!!!                       
B) I suppose so.                                                
C) Do you have to?  Haven't you got some homework to do?        
D) FUCK OFF!                                                    
                                                                
4. Your "friends" are all getting pissed.  You haven't got your 
   own booze and you want to get pissed too.  You ask them for a
   drink.  How do they reply?                                   
                                                                
A) Yeah, Of course.  Your my best bud!                          
B) No! You're under age.                                        
C) Buy your own fucking booze.  LOSER!                          
D) FUCK OFF!                                                    
                                                                
5. Your "friends" see you across the street in town.  What do   
   they shout at you?                                           
                                                                
A) Wanna come down the boozer for a pint, m8?                   
B) Alright? (They continue walking onwards).                    
C) They say nothing and continue walking (faster).              
D) FUCK OFF!                                                    
                                                                
6. You go round your "friends" house and knock on the door.     
   What reaction do you get?                                    
                                                                
A) They open the door and invite you in to watch the latest     
   speccy demos.                                                
B) Sorry, were going out in minute.  It's up to you if you come.
C) They pretend they're not in.                                 
D) FUCK OFF! (shouted thru the letter box).                     
                                                                
7. You get into a fight with some drunken cunt.  You cry out for
   help.  Your "friends" are hanging around near by.  What do   
   they do?                                                     
                                                                
A) Come to your rescue and help lay shit into him!!!            
B) Stand by and cheer you on!                                   
C) Stand by and cheer the drunken cunt on!                      
D) Shout "FUCK OFF!" and walk away whilst getting your head     
   kicked in!!!!!!!!!                                           
                                                                
8. You're in a pub with your "friends".  You let the biggest    
   ripper of a fart.  How do your "friends" comment on this?    
                                                                
A) Whatta ripper!  I wish I could do one like that!!            
B) They laugh vaguely.                                          
C) They say nothing and pretend your not with them.             
D) FUCK OFF! you smelly bastard!                                
                                                                
9. You are pissed, legless and can't walk to save you're life.  
   What do you're "friends" do?                                 
                                                                
A) Attempt to walk you home.                                    
B) Put you in a taxi and send you home.                         
C) Put you in a taxi and send you anywhere!                     
D) Shout "FUCK OFF!" You Drunken Bastard!".                     
                                                                
10. You're in hospital (See Q.7).Your "friends" hear about this.
    What do they do?                                            
                                                                
A) Visit you, bring you lots of food and porno mags, and laugh  
   when the sexy nurse comes round with the "Drugs Trolley".    
B) Visit you, have a quick chat and go.                         
C) They do nothing and have a good laugh about it behind your   
   back.                                                        
D) Send an anonymous note saying "FUCK OFF!"!!!!                
                                                                
                             RESULTS                            
                             =======                            
                                                                
                          A = 10 Points                         
                          B = 5 Points                          
                          C = 0 Points                          
                         D = -100 Points                        
                                                                
Now add up all your scores.  See what you get......             
                                                                
                               90+                              
                                                                
You have really good "friends"!!!  Hey! Maybe you should come   
round for a drink sometime!!!                                   
                                                                
                              40-90                             
                                                                
You have some "friends", but they're not concerned about you.   
Don't come round here for drink... you're not welcome!!!        
                                                                
                              0-40                              
                                                                
You're sad!!! You haven't got any "friends"!!! FUCK OFF you sad 
bastard.  WE NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU IN OUR LIVES!!!              
                                                                
                           Less Than 0                          
                                                                
You are the saddest BASTARD ever known.  FUCK OFF!!  Are you    
sure you're not Gwi of Extacy-3???  FUCK OFF!  FUCK OFF! FUCK   
OFF!  FUCK OFF!!!!                                              
                                                                
                          More Than 100                         
                                                                
You're a cheating cunt!!  Who the fuck are you trying to kid??? 
You have no place in the speccy world!!!!!                      
                                                                
                         Less Than -1000                        
                                                                
Jeeeeeesus Christ your so fucking sad.  You can't even add up!! 
                                                            End.
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