Lime Tree #10 19 января 1996

Самиздат

Lit.Stranichka - The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (Chapter 2,3,4).

So, you see continued adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Beginning, 
we published in the last issue, part of "a".




            Chapter Two,

    in which Winnie the Pooh came to visit and cool to get 
drunk. 


       Once the day is known for his drinking buddies, and you, 
Winnie the Pooh leisurely stroll through the forest with a 
fairly buhim view, singing a song of the "Forest Sector," 
"Walk, bear!". And now, thinking about where we could walk this 
thing - or rather, sober, Winnie the Pooh quietly came to an 
old dilapidated hovels, quiet creaks in the wind. 

       - Aha! - Said Pooh. ("Hey, take walks, bear, drank away 
what there! "). - If I'm anything I understand, but this is 
unlikely, then Last week, I immediately saw a rabbit, and 
therefore there is no reason to believe that there is no longer 
Rabbit, and Rabbit - is the most suitable company, where I give 
a little bit sober and listen to the "Forest Sector." 

       Reason to worry really was not because of
pipe on the roof was light smoke, and clearly felt the smell of 
fresh brew. 

       Pooh came to the door and knocked.

       - Hey! Anybody home? - He shouted.

       Instead of answering, he heard rustling in the attic and 
clicking hammer.


       - I just asked someone at home? - Said Pooh More
A quiet voice.

       - No! - Said a voice. - And there is no need to shout! I
the first time you understood perfectly. Now get out from
come!

       - Rabbit, it's me! - Shouted Pooh.

       - No, Pooh, Rabbit - that's me! - Answered above.

       - Really? Maybe then nothing?

       - Well, come.

       And Winnie went.

       - Look, it's really you, - said Pooh, Rabbit, looking 
from head to feet. 

       - Hello, Pooh! Do you want to accidentally drink? - Asked
Rabbit.

       Winnie the Pooh has always been not mind a drink, 
especially the hours at eleven in the evening and the more 
utra.I course, he was terribly glad to see that the rabbit went 
to the bar. 

       - Pooh, what are you going to drink, beer or vodka? - 
Rabbit asked, getting glasses. 

       - And then, and more! And you can not snack - he added, 
fearing seem to be too greedy.


       And then he paused for a long time and did not say 
anything because I was not able to speak (because of the brush).


       And after a long time, singing something a drunken 
voice, Pooh difficulty arose from the table and began looking 
for rabbit paw to her shake hands and wish very, very, but 
could not find any paw either the rabbit.


       - The time has come? - Politely asked the rabbit, 
thought to himself: "Do not reach." But out loud, he did not 
say this, because Pooh at this time shook the knob closet and 
he clearly did not care, he comes or not.


       - Well-at - Pooh hesitated, glancing at the empty glasses
- I would have to-be. Yet. No-e-and-lot ...

       - In truth, - said Rabbit - I was going
go for a walk.

       - Then, now, - said Pooh, looking around in search of
door. From the first time to find the door he failed and he 
tried again.


       - Do not go there, Pooh. This is a Closets - warned 
Rabbit. 

       But it was late - the Pooh has penetrated into the 
dressing room, and from ear to ear Rabbit heard a terrible roar.


       - Well, let the smallness of the dry, - said Rabbit, 
locking the door with a key. Then he thought for a moment and 
decided to run for Christopher Robin, who, fortunately, did not 
live very far.


       The first thing Christopher Robin Rabbit led to the 
wardrobe, saying:


       - Here.

       Christopher Robin lifted his ear to the keyhole in the 
door clothes and listened. From there, heard the peaceful 
snoring. 

       - One way out - he said. - You must wait until the Pooh
sober.

       - A long time he needed to sober up? - Rabbit asked 
fearfully. 

       - And how much he drank? - In turn, asked Christopher
Robin.

       Rabbit pointed silently at the empty bottle, still 
standing on table.


       - Yes-ah-ah-ah, - said Christopher Robin. - To sober him
need for a week.

       - Yes he's my all stocks drink! - Gasped in fright
Rabbit.

       - Since the whole point is just that he should not drink 
a whole week, otherwise how can he sober up.


       - A-ah - joyfully said Rabbit .- Then another thing.

       - I just started thinking - said to escape the burden of 
Winnie clothes, sniffing - that suddenly I was left-to-Nus in 
the closet for life ...


       - That was not sadness, - said the Rabbit. - A week 
vylezesh as pretty. 

       And there was a great week of sobriety. The process of 
sobering up y Pooh has been very slow, intermittent and hard 
drinking - the first while Winnie the Pooh could not refrain 
from drinking. The very next Day Rabbit managed to pull Pooh 
out of the wardrobe and bring it consciousness. Rabbit as he 
could trying to keep their stocks of alcohol, but could not 
resist the unequal struggle. By the end of the week had only a 
few beers and a bottle of Absolut. However, Pooh was able to 
move around a bit, and after a week he left House Bunny, 
leaving the owner alone with empty bottles. 



    Nomy Graphics Limited 'Stever 1996 01/10/1996



             Chapter Three,

     where Pooh and Piglet nearly catch Buhogo beech.


       The best friend of Winnie the Pooh, but a bad drinking 
companion (because of the aversion to spirits), a tiny pig 
named Piglet, keep all your alcoholic drinks (for himself and 
friends) in a big-very big house, big, very big tree. The tree 
stood in the most g ..., sorry, middle of the forest, the house 
was in the middle of the tree, was buried in the middle of the 
house, and Piglet asleep in the middle of the cellar. At the 
cellar door hung a sign, so that any sober in the Forest could 
read: 


               A M M A R E T T O D.


       No one else could read anything, even to zero buhoy.

       Once Christopher Robin asked Piglet, whether he knows
accident, where he is, Christopher, Robin, was able to see this 
inscription. Piglet thought for a moment and then blurted out 
that he does not know but this inscription - their family 
jewel, and represents recipe for champagne - of their favorite 
family beverage. 

      Christopher Robin had boasted that they have a family 
favorite beverage, but the name of the drink and its degree 
measure, he refused to name the aesthetic reasons ... 

       It was a fine winter's day. Piglet, happy life
uncorked three bottles of champagne and crucified alone, after
Heavy two-week abstinence. First effect was not noticeable, but 
then suddenly Piglet Vdarilo in the head, and he decided the 
small refreshment. Piglet went outside and suddenly five meters 
from the house said Pooh. Pooh walked slowly away somewhere, 
looking down at his feet and staggered a bit. 

       - Hey, Pooh! - Decided to call buhogo Bear Piglet.

       Instead of answering, Pooh got up on the spot and turned 
to Piglet. 

       - Feet up, burs, kolis, whither they went Buki? - Roared
Winnie, tossing an imaginary gun at the ready.

       - What are you Pooh - Piglet cried. - Again, get drunk?
What Buki?

       - Obschestvennoopasnye - said Pooh, relenting.

       Until Piglet through weak hops reached appalling sense 
of words Fluff.


       - Help! - Yelled a pig. - Winnie, Winnie, save me! I 
died! I'm too young to drink! 

       - Stop pushing bullshit - skazal Pooh. - Calm down. 
We-go on the hunt for beech! 

       Piglet hastily said that until Friday had a lot of 
cases, but out-of-print Pooh said he did not leave a friend in 
danger, and persuaded Piglet go hunting for the terrible 
beeches. 

       To start with, they both should be examined area 
vokrug.Zorky Pooh eye soon noticed Suspicious Traces on the 
footpath, on which they stood.


       - Traces - said Piglet. - Pug! - Piglet frantically 
screamed - Pooh is Buka! 

       - Buhi, buhi - mumbled Pooh. - All right now buhi ...

       - Oh, Mama! - Agitated Piglet. Indeed, Scary Buki become 
even worse if they also buhi! 

       Ignoring the cries of Piglet, Winnie the Pooh resolutely 
strode along the path from time to time applying to the bottle 
vodka, wisely seized with him. 

       Pooh suddenly stopped.

       - What is it? - Timidly asked Piglet.

       - A very strange thing, - said Bear. - Now here
a herd of grazing Beech.

       Despite the cold, Piglet suddenly became very hot.

       - A herd?

       - Stuck-eight, no less.

       Piglet carefully counted the number of prints, and found
that Pooh is probably enough.

       - Are you sure that this Buki? - Hopefully he asked Pooh.

       - Maybe - said Pooh. - And-and-Sometimes, as if they ...
And sometimes, as if they were not. On the trail really guess? 
In any If it is I suppose a very dangerous creature ...


       After this message, Piglet, in spite of his distaste for 
liquor, drank from the bottle a small sip. 

       And they went on together.

       On the way, Piglet, Pooh was telling obscene jokes, from 
which a Winnie the Pooh started bouts of uncontrollable 
laughter and the desire to destroy all the trees around. 

       Suddenly, Winnie the Pooh fell threw himself on the snow.

       - Oh, Winnie, oh, Winnie, that you, Winnie? - Piglet 
anxiously running around his friend, and he suddenly longed to 
Christopher Robin was here, next to - of course, simply because 
he, Piglet and Pooh, of course, are so fond of Christopher 
Robin! 

       Piglet suddenly heard the whistle we heard from one of
oaks, standing around. He looked back and saw someone on a 
branch. 

       - Pooh, wake up, it's Christopher Robin! - In delight 
cried Piglet. 

       But Pooh, made no visible signs of life.

       - Well, Pooh, Christopher Robin, you are not touched.
I'm going home ..., - said Piglet, and ran home, glad that
drinking is not so much vodka and will soon be home safe ...

       Christopher Robin slowly climbed down from the tree.

       - Buhenky my teddy bear - he said, slightly pnuv Pooh 
foot. - What are you doing there? 

       - A. .. O. .. Oxo-ti-i-were! - Told Christopher Robin
Winnie the Pooh. - At Buhih Book!

       - Oh my buhenky Bear! And why do you drink so much? 
"Asked Christopher Robin. 

       - Shtob be r Forry rme! - Pooh said, rising. - Whatever
say, but it's time to sleep.

       And he went home, some sleep.


 Nomy Graphics Limited in 1996 01/01/1996. Happy New Year!


             Chapter Four,

          in which Eeyore does not see a tail and Pooh sees.


       Old spivshiysya donkey Eeyore stood there, swaying in 
the overgrown thistle corner of Forest and thought, how could 
he fall. Eeyore had addiction consume alcohol in huge 
quantities. His favorite Distilled Spirits was Gimlet - hot 
alcohol and pepper. Only a donkey Eeyore, in the forest could 
safely drink half a bucket Gimlet without risking stomach burn 
and die at the same moment. Eeyore started with beer, and then, 
assuming it is not enough current, began to try more and more 
spirits. Finally, after undiluted whiskey and gin, the donkey 
came up with idea to drink pure alcohol. After the first 
experiments Eeyore acknowledged that This is really cool, and 
began to consume it regularly. Gradually, his seasoned stomach 
began to demand a stronger fluid, and Eeyore become warm 
alcohol on an open fire, adding the pepper powder. Gimlet he 
came to taste, and he has since become his favorite drink. Here 
and now, having two cups of gimlet, Eeyore swaying, stood apart 
front legs and thinking about things. 

       This activity is very tired of him, and he began to 
think not Do drink another glass, but then he saw Winnie the 
Pooh, who too little reeling and heading somewhere in the woods.


       - Hello, Pooh! - Cried Ia. - Come on, Pooh! Let's Drink
a glass!

       Pooh diligently pretended not to hear, but the last word
burro made him suspicious.

       - Buran I do not drink, you know - he cried. - Vodka
there?

       - Yes, yes, I have everything - said Eeyore. - And then 
miss here, you know, not to drink with someone ...


       - Then come on, bring, - said Pooh, settling on an empty
barrel from the alcohol.

       Eeyore went down into the cellar and pulled out two 
bottles vodki.Posle second glass they began to talk.


       - How samochuvsvie? - Asked Eeyore as he poured himself 
another cup. 

       - And how are you?

       - Yes, bad. Or even nothing at all. I no longer feel so.

       - Ay-ay-ay, - said Pooh, after drinking one gulp third 
glass.  - Give me ka thee na-a-sma-tru.


       Eeyore continued to sit with a glass, gazing sadly at 
the ground, and Winnie the Pooh, standing on all fours and made 
him crawl around. 

       - Look, in nature, but where's your tail? - Suddenly 
said Pooh. 

       - In the ass - cut Eeyore.

       - Not-e-a, no. Ba-a-slit no - said Pooh, carefully
examining the back of a donkey. Honestly, Vinny before booze,
I did not see nor tail, nor ass, nor of the Eeyore. Eeyore is 
not trusting little bear, he decided to check the tail. He

rose with difficulty to his feet, holding Winnie and looked 
nalevo.Potom right. Then he bowed his head and looked between 
my legs. 

       - No, in-it's something loose. And you say, no ...
- Said Eeyore.

       - It's not him, it's something else - strongly said Pooh.
- Maybe it's your end?

       - Are you sure?

       - It's either it, or does not it. In my opinion, there 
can not be wrong. And there is no tail.


       - It's natural - said Eeyore. - Now all 
ponyatno.Udivlyatsya not necessary. 

       - Maybe Owl whipped? - Suggested Pooh.

       - Whipped, whipped. Twice as much ...

       - No, I'm talking about the tail.

       - That you yourself, and (uk) admitted! - Joyfully 
exclaimed Eeyore. - I always knew you were a scoundrel, a svolo 
... 

       - And for the scum it is possible and in the face, - has 
warned the Pooh. - I I say, not the tail.


       - What Them - summed up Eeyore.

       Pooh felt that he must say something useful,
but, on reflection, decided to s n and Sufficiency something 
useful. 

       - A-sat in-a-Lebanon - ordered the Pooh.

       After the next portion of vodka Pooh kinder.

       - Eeyore, I - do not think it's really me - I VinniPuh 
... - Winnie the Pooh here to collect his thoughts and 
continued: 

       - I will find your tail!

       - For free? - Happy Eeyore.

       - Right now you, your stub for free on the TNI and th 
Forest will look! .. Bubble deliver? 

       - Thank you, Pooh! - Said Eeyore .- You're a real 
friend. Not that some.


       And Winnie the Pooh went in search of the tail.

       "If the owl that something happened to him - thought 
Bear - then she probably knows something about the tail. And if 
so, we will go to the Council. "Unfortunately, Eeyore, Winnie 
the Pooh hardly ate, so the way to the Council was quite 
difficult - Pooh is not just stumble on the roots sticking out 
of the ground and just on level ground. 

       Came, finally, to the house of the Owl, Pooh hardly saw 
an ad: 


       Prashu door or fuck requezt padergat the handle.


       With drunken Winnie did not understand and began 
pounding feet in the door, shouting:


       - What are you, Owl, in kind, open, yet still intact!

       The door opened, and Owl looked out.

       - Hello, Pooh! - She said. - What do you think?

       - And you went to ... and ... to ... general ... Eeyore 
... tail ... your mother, - explained Pooh.


       - Well, - said Owl. - The usual procedure in such cases
nizhesleduschaya ...

       - Bull Proseedcake? - Asked Pooh. - And this is how many 
degrees? 

       - This means that you need to do.

       - Listen, you're there brains are not washed, say, where
tail? - Broke the Pooh.

       - Yes, I do not know nikakago tail - said Owl .- I got 
to do where? And anyway, I ...


       - Be well, - said Pooh. - Vodka is?

       - There is - surprise said Owl. - "Rasputin" or "White
Eagle?

       - Come and "Rasputin" and "White Eagle", analyze it, - 
said Pooh. 

       After the new portion of Pooh fell, being dead drunk.
Owl wisely called Christopher Robin, and with the help of Pooh
pulled out of the house and moved to his home - Owl remembered 
adventure in Krolkika when Pooh during hangover drank Rabbit 
supplies of alcohol. 

       When the hangover has passed, Winnie the Pooh again went 
to Eeyore handle on the tail. Great was his surprise when he saw

tail on the rightful place.

       - Say, Eeyore, where did you find it? - Asked Pooh 
donkey, opening a can of beer. 

       - A hell knows ... As dried out after our buhni, look - 
on the spot hangs ... - Remembered Eeyore. - I still thought 
it's not the end Does it?


       - No, it's tail, - assured the Pooh. - That I have 
found. Probably. - So let us drink to Eeyore's tail!


       A half hour later, Pooh Bear, as usual, staggering, 
walking home (at Eeyore found a bottle of "STOLICHNAYA VODKA") 
and sang his under the nose of a song:



           Who is on-and-go's tail?

           I! Winnie the Pooh!

           In Nulin bang!

           About two

           To-morrow was dry!



       Nomy Graphics Limited 1996 10/01/1996

Continuation may be, will be ...



Room for release prepared LORD WINTER.
The main entertaining stuff - STEVER and NOMY


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