Lime Tree #06 20 декабря 1995

Юмор

Humor - Rules of Conduct in the forest reserve "Paradise foliage.

                         Yu M O R



           RULES OF CONDUCT IN THE FOREST RESERVE

                     "Paradise foliage.

   1.Zapovednik is untouched caring hands
forest the size of 7.5 to 40 meters.

   2.Dvigatsya the forest can only be small group of 20-25
people.

   3.Po team of instructors, "Come on!" tourist is obliged to 
proceed to collection of forest products, guided by the scheme, 
which indicated the exact location. 

     When detecting the object tourist has the right to stand 
next to rubber mat and giving otmazhku a flag to signal voice:

"Fruit!" or "Forest gift!" waiting approach 
instruktora.Podospevshy instructor depending on the degree of 
edibility command object: "FU! not Zamay! or: "Tally-ho-ho!" - 
Collecting means lying down or kneeling. 

     Upon completion of the collected walk models of mushrooms 
and berries are placed on the starting positions for the 
collection of the following groups. 

   4.EKZOTIKA:

    a) The nightingale;

    b) the sparrow;

    a) ant

    d) Dorofei.

     In marked conifer stumps provides remote control with 
buttons 1-4, by clicking which you can claim, respectively:


    1) the singing of a nightingale;

    2) song sparrow;

    3) the emergence of an ant (moving model, increased by 500 
times) 

    4) the emergence of a forester Dorofei in the clothing of 
prosperous Bavarian peasant 2 nd half of the XVIII century 
(actor Mikolsky). 

     Choral singing of a nightingale, sparrow, ant and Dorofei 
by concomitant fixation of all four buttons. 

   5.B our reserve tourist lurk following can happen:

    a) the bite of midges (for thrill-seekers). For the product 
of a sting should roll up sleeves to the elbow and cotton swab 
dipped in alcohol, wipe the skin area, designed to defeat a 
hungry parasite. Sterile tweezers duty nurse specialist (actor 
Mikolsky) pulls out a jar and performs insect contact the 
recipient with the treated areas tormented flesh, with 
subsequent examination and Stationary observation for 6 years. 

    b) cracker "Wildfire."

     When carelessly stepping on a limb (a) or plantain (r)
unexpectedly strong forest fire breaks out. Accurate simulation 
of its achieved by alternately flashing the two red lights at 
40W, sounding a siren volume 600 decibels and the advent of fire

Garrison with simultaneous release of a continuous layer of 
foam height 2 m 10 cm throughout the forest.


    c) "Surprise":

     1) meeting with small predator.

     To get a surprise one day in advance to apply in
directorate and make an additional payment, and then hide
and wait. 5 hours at dawn waiter make salad
crab.

     2) meet with a large predator.

     For the same amount he will head waiter (actor Mikolsky).

   6.Znakomstvo with folk customs and lyricism of native 
wildlife. 

    a) thoughtful chewing grass.

     Those who wish to line up barefoot on the rise. To the 
"time!" tourists lie on his back to the "two!" - Stretched, 
threw right hands behind his head, "three!" - Started chewing 
pensive green mass, issued at the rate of 1,5-2 quintal per 
group. 

    b) work as lumberjacks and the competition with a Canadian 
lumberjack (Actor Mikolsky).


     Wishing to be issued axes, saws, jig saws, soldering 
irons, underwear and a pint of ale. After which a shirt 
rashristovyvayutsya, razzuzhivayutsya shoulders, wood chop, 
chips fly. 

    c) The combined attraction-session "Backwoods da God
grace. "With people walking is put into the bushes, where 
suddenly starts working decommissioned jet (" Backwoods "). 
After 1,5 hours the engine is turned off - there comes the 
"grace of God." 

    d) People gulbischa (games, picnics, seyshn, hangouts).

     Played a prominent embroidered lace breeches, gibberish,
boots in a bag, kokoshniki, false calves, powdered wigs and 
oxygen maski.Nuzhno quickly put all that give, to stamp his 
foot twice, take up the earlobe, to spit and say: "Keep off me, 
mind you!" 

     Winner - benzohleborezka.

     On leaving the reserve do not forget to pass the official 
mask, waders, a rug and a bathing cap horse.  NOTE: The reserve 
is based society for the protection of marks with image of the 
mountain argali and patrolled by helicopter detachment of young 
arharovtsev of 500 people.  Regulation was a forester Dorofei 
(all the same artist Mikolsky). 


                                          Andrew Knyshev.



This room was prepared and issued EDITED BY SM-STUDIO.


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