DonNews #14 26 марта 2001

:) - Humor.

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           :)



selection: KLIM / oHg

Talk gay and worried:
- Are you who would like to become? - Valid
  Shiva is blue.
- In bra.
- Why?
- Imagine all the time breasts

  caress, good! And you?
- I'm in an ambulance. You only before
  stake, your ass stuffing of a

  man, and you're running on the road, but still

  yelling:


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The restaurant calls Gerasim:
- Want to order food?
- Mu-mu ...
- Maybe you want a drink?
- Mu-mu ...
- Maybe you are a woman ...
- Aha!


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After visiting the museum to exchange students
  vayutsya impressions:
- Have you noticed what has been a huge penis

  She has a Greek statue.
- Yeah. And so cold.


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From news.
Rostov mill begins vypysk
tryb different diametra.Pervaya tryba different diameter has 
finally arrived left the conveyor. 


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Read instryktsiyu on primeneniyu enema:
ycsalsya .... Apply: ysralsya ...


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Idyt two soldiers on platsy, the first vtoromy:
- Come on over stashinoy funny?
- Fuck you, Dean has finally arrived on the pinned ...


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    A man wakes up with a terrible hangover -
head as the lead is poured, hand-foot as
strangers ... Somehow he turned on his side and moaning so 
piteously: "Sha-Sha ... Arik Arik and ..." 

    Dog runs up, whines, licks. Muzhik
it ka-ak dyhnet and the last effort
blurts out: "Search!"


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Stand traffic cops with radar:
- That one goes very quickly.
- What speed?
- Twenty dollars.


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The lady at the zoo admires ostriches.
- Tell plzh - she asked the servant,
- They will ever drop their feathers?
- Usually no, madame, but may drop,

  if you see ten dollars.


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  Policeman stops the car and asks
driver present law.
The driver, oochen like a man stretches out right, which had 
been on Sidorova Maria Ivanovna.

- According to foreign human drive? - Enlivened

  policeman.
- Why is it that strange? - Surprised the driver.
- Title! - Requires several skonfu
  adjoint policeman.
The light is extracted to the data sheet
Sidorova, MI
- Ta-a-ak ... - Says ohrenevshy traffic cop,
looking at the driver,
- Come on, take off your pants!
After much wrangling the driver takes off his pants and turns 
beneath them muzhikmuzhikom. Policeman outside himself. - Oh, 
you are scum! SchA I love you for such jokes ... - Eh, comrade 
sergeant, some kind of dick you believe, and our public 
documents No!



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Goes punk night on the subway, tired on the heavy stick is 
based. On the contrary grandmother intelligent-looking fit. - 
Hey, Grandma, no pussy! - What do you mean, I ...

- Hey, Grandma, do not pussy !!!!!!!
- So I, a young man, like as not.
Punk (clobber grandmother's head with a stick on):
- Well, grandmother, and dopizdelas !!!!!!


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Obkurilsya punk plan and stands before the mirror.
Pointing at his reflection and says:
- There, I said.
Then he points to himself:
- Here I am.
Knock at the door:
- Who's there?
From there, a voice:
- It's me.
Punk:
- Oh, and there I am!


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Sit two punk: boy and girl, slaughtered flocks.
The guy says:
- Hearing, and because I love you
- A similar garbage.


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Two drugs are flying in an airplane.
One says to another:
- Listen trash is cool go Doonholm!
- You Th fool that-whether in an airplane flying back!
- Okay, let's go to the toilet Qurna
- Horseradish Sneem go
Smoked, all zaebis one to take a shit
struck.
- You go out, I interm.
The second went all pokayfu. And run to the pilots
- Guys do that all the dead loop
please ladies!
What are you ohuel? Same airliner
Kicks are we not perform.
- Anything I give, do it?
Well they did! That mean a point
ohuevshy creep up and says he:
- You fucked up rowing, I'm as much for his neck
shit!


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- Mom, why do I have kids in school tease ghoul?
- "Do not listen to them, they are stupid. You better
Eat soup and then minimized ...


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Are Winnie the Pooh and Piglet in the same bed:
- Piglet, you wanker?
- Masturbate!
- And to finish you want?
- I want!
- Then Fingering her!


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Rzhevskii rose in the morning, stretched, cleaned
teeth and found a small bone in the mouth
from raspberries.
Shouted the orderly: "Ivan, from my mouth
crimson stone, I'll raspberries, two did not
ate. "
Ivan: And you sir yesterday with Natasha at the ball
kissing?
PR: Yes, why?
Ivan: It's before that have Bolkonsky member
suck, and Prince Andrew before that Bezukhov in
ass had, and that before a big fan of raspberries!


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Is secularism bal.Damy and gentlemen dance
drink teas and are secular besedy.Tut the hall
Rzhevskii collapse and no one noticing
brosaetsa blizhaishei to the wall, takes off his pants and 
begins to pleasure her mochitsya.Zakonchiv his case, he puts on 
his pants, buttons his fly, and oborachivaetsa seeing all 
ostalnyh with astonishment exclaimed: "Well, you have chosen a 
place and teas to ride Gentlemen! "



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Two new Russian in the United States as turisty.Vse
look, sick of it. And then came the launch
spacecraft. Challenger is on the
platform, the pair admits. Everyone is waiting. And then
to delay the launch for the day. Come the new Russian outlying 
loafing. Found a bottle with fuel for Chelendzhera.Otkryli, 
sniffed - brew smells. Went to the hotel. Drank butylku.Okoseli 
in dugu.Tak and returned to their komnatam.A morning one of 
them wakes up from a phone call. This is it

other rings:
- Listen, Fyodor, you Che? Alive and kicking?
- Oh, nothing, only his head cracks.
- Do you, do not fart now. I told you from the South
Korea calling.


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In short, there comes a fidoshnik to drygomy in
guests. Sit, drink beer, talk ...
Tyt one sees a cat.
- Oh, your cat?
- Hy my.
- A zovyt how?
- Zyhel.
- Why so?
- Look ...
Takes a broom, coming to Zyhelyu and pokes emy
in mordy.
- Zyhel, Connect!
- Shshshshshshshsh! ...
- OOO! 14400!


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- Girl, where you going?
- From the beauty salon.
- And how many to break something?


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The two clashed in a network hacker, calling
lamer each other, and so got excited,
that were at each other station Mir to shove
But the forces they were equal and the station
fell exactly between them. True guys so
and they knew that the war had ended in a draw:
as it turned out they lived in one house.


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Oral sex: Feel a taste of life!


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Natasha Rostov comes home with progylki and
srazy expecting trouble at the issue:
- Natasha, what is y you face?
- We porychikom Rzhevsky boating, and I sat down on his nose 
wasp ... - And what ykysila?!

- No, porychik neatly knocked her oar!


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- Natasha, you're already married to a lieutenant Rzhevsky two 
years and you still do not have children ... - Oh, Mama, so I 
though, would be able to again swallow this stuff ...



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- Ugorazdilo on me yesterday, sprinkle carpet
means of a moth!
- Why, what happened?
- You only imagine: not only is it
he still ate, did not you then another and problevalas!


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- Tell me, Lieutenant, for you women to dry?
- They get wet for me.


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New Russian came to lift, so
rejuvenate.
In short the operation was a great success.
HP looks in the mirror and says:
- Oh, cool, navel to chin.
 The doctor answered him:
Yes, you would have seen that you have instead of a tie


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Wrote to the Russian war news to home: - Do not
worry, the food is good, good fight,
here only recently from the enemies
trenches ass show - we lose
do not know what to do ... Him from his homeland
answer: - You are important not lost
took out the rifle and the ass fell.
Ukrainian wrote home: - The war is going well
fat enough, except that the enemies of the last
time from the trenches stick their asses.
Lost, we do not know what to do. Response to
country: - nothing to lose! Took out
rifle and fell right in the ass. Georgian
wrote: - fighting is normal, that's only enemies
Recently ass from the trenches
show. What should I do? Lost. Response to
country: - Gogi, do not lose, we leave all
aul.


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Argued two friends who have a wife
ugly. One other leading to his
guests to get acquainted with his wife.
Come, and there is a monster: the feet
curves, one arm shorter than the other, teeth
no, scary face, in general, the whole curve
to can not. The second looked at me and said: -
Come on now his show, only to a
you a heart attack has not happened, I'm home
telephone call, to say no immediately
for us to come out, and five minutes later, as
we go - you must also somehow morally
prepare. He calls her and says:
"Hello, Manya?" I'm here today with a friend
I come home, you're right we have not come out and
Come out so after about five minutes. "Manya him
replied: "I'm hooded
to go? "- Which bag, fool!? I f
not to fuck you, and will introduce another!

Tom Thumb went to donate blood ...

          Kakaya glypaya, absurd death ..


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Lecture for farmers. Lecturer:
- Comrades farmers. Before you skull
Alexander of Macedon, where he was 7 years old. A
this one's skull, where he was 25 years old. And finally,
skull of the deceased Alexander of Macedon.
Questions?
Is:
- Tell me please, how can a
one man three skulls?
- And you, excuse me, who? - Asks a lecturer.
- Gardeners.
- Here and go to the dick. Lecture for

                              farmers.


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Studio couch kvartira.Na husband and wife
Side by side on a folding mother-in-law. Husband pesters
wife:
- Come on. Come on!
- It's awkward, mom will hear.
- Come on. Come on!
We hear the rhythmic creaking. After a
while shouting his wife: "Oh, Mama!"
- What, my daughter?
- Buy a bread tomorrow.
Mother-in-law herself: "This son is a voracious!
Sixth loaf of bread for the night. "


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Flies, hence the eagle. Tyt protrudes y
out of his ass worm.
- What is the height, the Eagle?
- 100 meters, somewhere.
Worm crawled back.
Eagle rose povyshe.Tyt worm crawled out again
- What is the height, the Eagle?
- Metro 800, somewhere.
Worm back zalez.Orel rose even higher
Hovers over the tops of mountains, trudges. Again
worm is presented from the same hole and
says:
- Hey, Eagle, you do not see shit, the whole
Family volnyetsya!