Nicron #117 21 мая 2000

Эмуляторы

Humor - anecdotes.

            Pap



   Putin asked:
- Why Russian troops have not put an end to one of the 
strongest Chechnya 

  offensive?
- I'll explain in a simple example. Imagine a big pile of

  crap.
- Well presented.
- Now imagine that you are on it with all the force of impact ku
  varnish!



  Mishutka, unsuccessfully trying to enter the 'Net:
-Who yuzal my account and all his vyyuzal?!



   Yeltsin left the Kremlin to talk to people, comes out of the
patsanenok crowd and asked:
- Uncle, and Russia do you manage?
- Well, I do!
- Give me steer!
- Dam. Just wait a bit: even Putin has not dashed off!

  (C) Robinson Odessa



   Daughter of the new Russian wrote an essay.
"She lived a very poor family. The daughter they had the 
bednayabednaya ... And mum and dad they were poor, poor ... and 
the driver of They had a very poor .... And the maid was poor 
... " 



   The family pastor a little boy something passionately 
composed of magnetic bukovok. 

   Mom went on tiptoe and looked over his shoulder.

   See it: he folded: GOD.

   Satisfied mom wanted to leave already, as the son asked:
- Mom, how do you spell ZILLA?


Basayev - Maskhadov:
- You know, for my head was appointed for ransom.
Maskhadov:
- Uh-huh! I even know who receives it!


- Which department is the most popular

  in persons of Caucasian nationality?
- Mining and Processing. Down from the mountains, was enriched,

  and again in the mountains ...


Customs inspection of the vessel. (T) amozhennik asked (k) 
apitana: (T) Drugs are?

(K) is (takes bag of heroin)
(T): - [] The money is there?
(K) is (takes the bag of money)
(T): - [] is a Weapon?
(K) is (takes a box of weapons)
(T): - [] And it's all yours!
(A) No! It's yours! Mine in the hold.


Comes a new pysky to kontory, torgyyuschyyu company, and says:
- I tyt y you yesterday kypil computer, right?
 Seller:
- So.
HP:
- And there in front of him bykvy burn, LO, right?
 P:
- Hy, so.
HP:
- And if knopochky press, then drygie bykvy illuminate - HI,

  so?
 P:
- Hy, yes, all right, but what was that?
 HP:
- But who is y our "LOHI", we now understand bydem ..


Lieutenant Rzhevskii walks into a pub:
- Gentlemen, let's redeeming horses in champagne!
- Lieutenant, we have no money
- Well, let's at least a cat beer shells ...


Policeman on a horse in recent times is called
mentavrom.


Operation in the Russian province:
Surgeon:
- Sister, anesthesia!
Sister:
- What?
Surgeon:
- Nash, a local!
Sister:
- Hush-a-bayuyuyuyu ...